The Two Assassins (Part of 'The Return of Pietro Maximoff' series)
by abstract0118
Summary: Natalia was a spy, a killer, who didn't have a home. After meeting Clint Barton and spending 13 years training with him, Natasha finally finds that home. However, can anything stay the same when emotions are brought into their partnership? Set after AOU and may contain M chapters if requested. Part of 'The Return of Pietro Maximoff' series - prior reading not necessary. Clintasha!
1. The Battle

**Hello :) As requested, I will be doing this story along with four others that all link in together. The Return of Pietro Maximoff was my first story and I am now linking it in with this. There will be five different stories in total, all linking in with each other. Hopefully this will work. So...let's begin.**

 **By the way, this is just a backstory and is important to the plot. I promise you that the future chapters will contain more dialogue and interactions, but will only be 4000-5000 words, not 12,800 like this starter chapter, so don't worry if you find that this chapter drags on a bit.**

 **Mentions of rape and abuse - not overly graphic**

 **Natasha POV**

I held another robot against the ground, sweat beginning to form on my brow, and managed to use my baton to stun it to death, the robot's eyes quickly losing the blue glow that signalled their lifeline. I got up, quickly scanning the area for possible threats. I couldn't see any more the meanwhile.

"Cap, how are we doing?" I asked into the comms unit, making my way back to the area where they were putting the Sokovians on the escape ships.

 **"Most of the robots have been defeated."** he said, grunting quietly as he took out another one. **"Only a few left."** he added, grimly, and I nodded, running through the debris that had fallen from the surrounding buildings. I slowed for a moment, carefully treading over the rubble on the ground in case there were lose pieces. I tried to stop myself from thinking about the fact that I was treading over somebody's house and that the people fleeing their country would have no home to go to. They would be provided with accommodation, but they would never have a 'home'. Not that I could talk, I never had a home to go to, unless you counted Clint.

Me and Clint were a peculiar pair to say the least. We had been on more missions than any other agent at the time at S.H.I.E.L.D. Strike Team Delta was one of the most successful mission teams. We had our faults, but we never stopped trying to do the right thing, especially Clint. He was similar to Rogers in that way. They both shared the same need to do good in the world, which confused me a bit. The world had never done anything for them, so I didn't see why they needed to return the favour. I owed Clint many favours over the years and I never forgot that, especially the favour I owed him for saving my life.

Fifteen years ago, in 2001, I was on a mission in Germany. Clint was tracking me, trained to take down anyone that he came across, but I noticed as soon as he entered. He had the mysterious vibe that every agent give off, no matter how undercover they are. There was the slight twitch of the eyes when talking, trying to avoid looking around the room for threats but failing. Also, his hands weren't smooth, scars marring them from the previous battles he had been through. He 'seduced' me, but only by me letting him do so. I hadn't realised it then, but he was an extraordinarily good kisser. I remember that he had used the right amount of pull to get someone to want more. He took my hand and led me up to his room, but as soon as the door shut, he had me pinned up against the wall, my size not doing me any favours to help defeat his strong, tall figure.

He was going to shoot me. That was his plan. He told me once he had injected me with a knock out drug and tied me up to a chair, which wasn't exactly nice of him.

 _"So, Miss Romanoff..." he said with a smirk that I wanted to punch off his stupid face. "I am going to offer you a deal." Hawkeye was well known as 'an incredibly talented archer with looks that were just as incredible'. I almost rolled my eyes when my mind remembered the rumours. He did seem to have a nice body, but I was not one to favour relationships, so it didn't matter to me. I admired the fact that he worked hard to get a strong body for his missions, though I think any agent would share a similar admiration for someone who has worked hard to be a spy like me or him. His arms were the strongest thing about him, most likely that way from years of archery. Beauty wasn't a word that I used likely, so no, he wasn't beautiful. He was a well-built man and I was an attractive woman. That's all it was. I was slowly trying to loosen the restraints around my feet and hands, but unfortunately they weren't even budging, not one bit._

 _"If you want to sleep with me, you will end up getting killed." I replied, fake-smiling at him. I was bored with this man. The Red Room were probably wondering where I was and I felt a small amount of fear shiver through me, obviously not being stupid enough to let it show. I didn't want to go back and be tortured by those men. Barton might as well have me killed as it would probably be less painful than the torture. An arrow through the eye-socket would've killed me in a second and I wondered why he hadn't done so yet. I wondered what his deal was._

 _I was scared at the Red Room, not that I would ever tell a soul. My mask didn't break for anyone, not even the trainers at the Red Room. Not one tear dropped from my eyes in that place if I was with someone else. When I was alone, one hundred percent alone, I would cry for as long as I could before I heard someone coming. I had memorised the guard's routines, so I made sure that I looked acceptable and fearless when they came to my cell. I was always so frightened of what the trainers were going to do. They gave us 'sexual education', but not the type that is usually taught at school. They would throw us around to each guard, sleep with us and then tell us it was educating us on how to overpower a target by sleeping with them. That was the worst of the abuse apart form the beatings. They were right to teach us about sex, because it had been useful on many missions. I had been there since I was five years old._

 _He shook his head, laughing a little, though I couldn't help but I noticed the worried look that flickered across his face before he laughed. I wondered why he was so worried, because I had never met the man before. "No, no, Miss Romanoff. Not that kind of deal." he said, confidentially, and I looked at him confused. He was becoming more confusing by the minute and my interest to stick around was peaked. I hadn't misjudged the emotional side to his character incorrectly, because it was evident that he had people he cared about, but I had misjudged his ability to break. We had been sitting here for a few hours now, him asking me questions, trying different methods of interrogation, one's that I had been taught to resist, though he never physically harmed me, which was a big hint to his emotional attachments. In fact he didn't touch me at all, which was surprising, because most targets did. I also noticed that I could still feel my underwear between my legs. We were taught that it didn't matter whether someone slept with us or not, the serum would keep us safe, but knowing that he didn't have sex with me gave me some kind of comfort. He wasn't planning on hurting me any time soon, at least not badly._

 _"And what possible deal could you offer that I would want to take?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at the archer._

It took Clint at least 4 hours to convince me that S.H.I.E.L.D was a good opportunity for me to leave the Red Room. I used to be so lonely as the only people I knew were my trainers. The other girls didn't like me very much. They always sneered at me or laughed whenever I practised and pushed me over in the corridors. They were jealous of my abilities. My teacher said I was one of her most talented students, so I used that to block out the girl's abuse. I had no friends for the whole of my childhood, because I was the best student there and that wasn't arrogance, that's the truth.

As I grew older, I realised that not all men wanted women for their body and that what the trainers did to me was rape. I felt so used, but didn't even cry about it, because I was focusing so hard on being an agent. I met Clint when I was 18 and thought that he was particularly young to be a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, but he retaliated with the fact that I was a spy at 17. He had to persuade his handler, Phil Coulson, to let me stay and he wasn't particularly happy about it, but came round after Barton argued that he was also taken in as a stray. I wondered what Clint had meant by that, but I soon learnt in training. For the first few weeks of training, I didn't even speak to him. I had to put up with his constant need to talk to me. Maybe he had no friends either as he seemed to hang around with me most of the time. He was the only person apart from Coulson, Fury and Hill that I saw for two whole months, while I was awake anyway. During training sessions, he told me about himself. He told me of his childhood, not in huge detail, but enough for me to learn to trust him more, not that I fully did until the mission in Budapest. He told me about his brother, Barney, and how he grew up in the circus. He said that he always wanted a dog as well and it made sense. It sounded strange, but I didn't see him as a cat person.

The first time I spoke to him properly was when we were in the training room taking a break:

 _We were sitting on one of the benches of our spacious training room that was filled with equipment, some of it unused by me and Clint. We had our own room to train in for the first few months to slowly ease me into S.H.I.E.L.D, but I got the feeling it was because Fury didn't entirely trust me. I didn't blame him. Barton stood up and went to the weapons cabinet, checking on one of his bows. Me and Barton weren't exactly friends, but we weren't exactly acquaintances either. There was an unfamiliar middle ground with us and I wondered if what I felt was friendship, but I didn't feel like I could trust him yet and I was told that that's what friendship was._

 _I took a sip of my water, allowing the cool drink of it to slide down my throat. I swallowed the liquid and breathed out, wiping the sweat off of my forehead with the back of my hand. We had been training for the past hour. I say we...it was more me hitting the boxing pads that Barton had in his hands. He kept it up for the whole hour and I didn't understand how his arms weren't killing him by now, but then I remembered that he was an archer and his arms were practically rock solid._

 _I put my drink to the side and stared at his peculiar way of touching the bow. The way he ran his fingers across the string and the look in his eyes almost made him look like he cared for the object. They seemed to share a connect, even though the bow was inanimate. I never had that relationship with a gun or any weapon, not that I needed one with my skills set._

 _Curious to why he was so affectionate for the inanimate bow, I stood up and slowly made my way over to him, making louder breaths as I came over to not startle him. Barton had good hearing anyway, but his sight was unparalleled. His head twitched slightly and his hand faltered as he glided along the string, the man noticing my approach. However, he continued his motions, knowing I wouldn't kill him._

 _"What's so special about a bow and arrow for you?" I asked and he turned his head to me, blue eyes wide and pushing into mine making me feel uncomfortable with how closer we were, which was only a metre away, but it felt a lot more intimate. I thought the reason why must've been because me and Barton never really had a proper conversation and this was the first time I had attempted one that wasn't to do with missions or training, but actually an enquiry about him._

 _"She speaks." he responded, smiling at me, and I rolled my eyes. He chuckled more, a real laugh that almost made me smile, and continued to answer the question. "I told you - circus."_

 _"But why a bow and arrow? Why not a gun? Most S.H.I.E.L.D agents use a gun or the one's I've run into have." I replied, only realising a second later the mistake that I had made. 'The one's I've run into'. Good going Romanova._ _He knows that I have killed some of his team before, maybe even people he knew. I wanted to apologise, but I didn't want to break down the wall I had spent built up over the past two months._

 _He turned back to the bow, forgetting about the S.H.I.E.L.D comment, and focused on adjusting the string again. "There's something about a bow and arrow that is different. The feel of it in my hands is different to that of a gun and it leaves a mark that everyone knows is mine. As you said, you don't get people using a bow and arrow these days." I was going to reply, but he kept on talking like usual. Barton had the tendency to do that. I couldn't decide whether it irritated me or not. I had spent my whole life in silence at the Red Room and I was unsure about the new flood of noise that my ears were getting. Sometimes I cursed myself for not killing him before I was knocked out because of all the noise that came out of his mouth, but other times I actually enjoyed his company, the reminder that I wasn't alone anymore. It shouldn't have comforted me as I was a Black Widow and could survive by myself, but Clint being with me had made me realise that being alone wasn't all it was cracked up to be. "I find a gun too heavy for me, weighs me down. The bow is the perfect weapon for me." he said, stroking it before closing the cabinet._

 _"No wonder you don't have a girlfriend." I retorted and turned away as I walked back to the bench. Barton hadn't mentioned that he didn't have a girlfriend, but I guessed that he didn't. He spent 18 hours of the day with me, spending the other 6 hours sleeping. 'Assassins sleep lightly' was the motto he always had or ASL which was the cut-down version. Both of them made me want to punch him, but I got used to it after a while. I didn't sleep very much though, only getting 2 out of the 6 hours a night. I had nightmares constantly, not that Barton knew about it. I didn't want him to waste his time worrying about me ever more than he did. He was more of a worrier than a warrior._

 _"It's not exactly like you'll get into a relationship anytime soon..." he teased and I sat down on the bench to look at him, my death glare tearing through his eyes. "So I'll teach you one day." he added and my death glare softened, wiping completely off my face after a few seconds. Teach me? He wanted to teach me how to use a bow and arrow? I never had any other options that a gun in the Red Room. It was small and compact, easy to store away. A bow and arrow was clunky and I don't think the trainers at the Red Room would take two seconds to even think about giving a student a bow and arrow to use in a fight. I'd been forced to do stuff in the Red Room, but he was offering me a choice. He always offered me a choice._

 _"How to shoot with that thing?" I asked, gesturing to the cabinet that contained the weapon._

 _"Yeah." he replied, casually, as if it were nothing at all. He was acting as if it wasn't a big deal, but it wasn a big deal to me. He was talking about teaching me, not 'instructing' me and giving me a time limit like the Red Room did. We had been doing hand-to-hand combat for weeks and I never thought he would offer something like that. I owed him for saving me and I reminded myself that I still needed a way to repay him._

 _"Like that's gonna happen." I replied, putting my arms above my head to stretch some of the aching muscles in my back._

 _"Well I got you to talk, didn't I?" he asked, but I didn't respond, deciding not to respond to him that whole day to annoy him. That made me smile._

Clint was the only person that I spoke to for another month after that. I gradually got onto better terms with Coulson and Maria, speaking to them casually about 6 months in, but I didn't see eye-to-eye with Fury until a few more months in, only getting used to his methods when I realised that we were quite similar in strategic aspects.

Before the Battle of Manhattan, we had become Strike Team Delta. In 2002, a year after training with Clint and learning how to fit in with S.H.I.E.L.D, I was put on my first mission with Clint. Coulson was our handler and it was only an extraction mission, but it was a start. We began to do more and more missions with Clint, each one even more successful than the last. By 2005, I was a level 5 S.H.I.E.L.D agent and had done over 300 missions with Clint, all of them being completed without any problems.

In 2006, me and Clint had a mission in Budapest. We were taking on an arms dealer and the mission went south. We went into the building, which was in the middle of nowhere, and tried to take them all out, but we underestimated how many men the dealer had. They had at least 40 and we tried to take them out discretely, but Fury hadn't informed us of the extra security they had around the perimeter. We took down the outside guards, but by that time the guards on the inside were already alerted to the situation. We ran and took shelter behind an abandoned car, that was across the middle of the road, to reload our guns.

 _"These guys aren't leaving anytime soon." Clint said to me as we changed to a new set of guns. He had complained about the fact that he wasn't allowed to use his bow and arrow, but I told him that it would most likely get in the way. He wasn't happy, but he did agree with me._

 _"You got a plan?" I asked and he winked at me. I hated it when he did that. I felt it to be too friendly, not that he would ever be as friendly as the Red Room trainers were._

 _"Always got a plan, Widow." he replied and I rolled my eyes at him. Even in the heat of battle, Clint always was joking around. I never shared the same humour, because I wanted to not get distracted and complete the mission as quickly as possible, but I would allow a joke to slip out now and again. He put my nerves at ease though with his jokes. "Get in the car." he informed me and I nodded, confused about what his plan was, but did so anyway._

 _"Front or back?" I asked and he looked at me incredulously._

 _"Either." he said and I grit my teeth, trying not to argue with him as I climbed in the back. We were meant to be equals, but I mainly followed the plans that he made as some people at S.H.I.E.L.D still didn't see me as an agent and I didn't want more against my name if something went wrong. He got into the front and said "Smash the window." He had something in his other hand, but I couldn't see what it was._

 _"Okay." I replied and used my gun to smash the window, trying to avoid the bullets being fired my way. They were about twenty metres away, taking their time to walk over to us with their guns. I hated arrogant shooters. He made another crash that signalled him breaking his window, but made a different crashing noise. What was he doing?_

 _"Hold this." he said, passing me what I could now see was a wing-mirror. "Use it to see who you're aiming at." Clint was intelligent, I'd give him that, and I didn't think that his plan would actually work, but it was actually quite effective in taking the agents down. The wing-mirror were unharmed as they were not directly in the line of fire, unlike the windows that were no longer complete._

 _We spent five minutes taking down the agents that were coming towards us, but in the distance we saw more approaching. "Are you kidding me?" he asked, looking at the incoming agents._

 _"These guys are just as stubborn as you." I said, getting out a new magazine to slot into the gun._

 _"Cracking out the jokes today, Widow? Good to know I've rubbed off on you." he replied, smirking. "Ready?" he asked and I nodded, putting up the mirror again to take down the oncoming enemies._

After a few years of continuing more and more missions, we were split up for a while, which I wasn't very happy about. By that time, it was 2010 and we were closer than ever before. I considered him a friend and would've said he was my closest, Maria and Coulson following in close behind. I knew a few agents at S.H.I.E.L.D, but there were only a few that I actually got along well with. Me and Clint had spent the past nine years together and I didn't want anything to change.

I always admired Clint, his strength and his courage. I cared about him. A lot. More than anyone actually, but I didn't love him. Love wasn't a word in my vocabulary. I occasionally wondered about whether he was interested in me, because he only had a few girlfriends over the years and never stayed with them for more than a month, but didn't bring it up to him. I only thought about him romantically once or twice over the years, thinking back to when he first found me and what what would've happened if we had slept together. It would've ruined our working style. Things would have been awkward and I don't think we would have been as successful in our missions if we did. Not having sex took a toll on my sex-drive after being continuously sexually abused, because I had gotten used to sleeping with a man once or twice every week that was until I was taken in by Clint. However, I dealt with it like any normal person would. I didn't need a man to make myself feel good.

The debt that I owed him was playing on my mind, but I still couldn't figure out how to repay it. I had thought about money, but then realised that he didn't need stuff like that. He was wealthy enough from his S.H.I.E.L.D wages. Sleeping with him was an option that I was contemplating, but I decided that I would only do it if he was interested in me as I didn't think he would be a fan of meaningless sex. Clint gave no indication that he liked me, so I decided not to have sex with him unless he gave me a sign.

When Fury split us up I was angry, but I didn't complain to anyone, not even Clint. I went undercover to work with Tony Stark, which wasn't exactly what I would have called the best job in the world, and after that, Clint was in New Mexico assisting Coulson with something that I wasn't told about. By this time, I was a level 7 agent, and after finishing my mission with Stark, I was assigned to a different agent while Clint was away, one called Kyle Garrison.

The man kept drooling at the sight of me, which made me feel sick. I was attractive and I knew it, the serum helped me become that way, but I didn't want the attention of men. Clint didn't drool at the sight of me. Clint had never looked at me in the wrong way, as far as I was aware. Agent Garrison wanted me because of my body and years ago, I wouldn't have been disgusted by that, but I knew that it was wrong. He cared for me as a friend and I knew that. We were friends.

One day whilst we were sparring, Garrison put me up against the wall and forced his lips onto my own, his hands instantly reached down to hold my behind. The kiss was forceful and it brought me back to the last time my lips were touched when I hadn't been on a mission, when Clint kissed me all the way back in 2001. With Clint, I kissed him back, playing along with his game, but when Garrison kissed me I had an entirely different reaction. I swiped his feet from underneath him and pinned him to the floor, disgusted that he would even attempt to make a move on me. I knocked him out and ran out of the training room, picking up my phone.

I immediately called Coulson and told him that I refused to work with Garrison, informing him of what the agent had done. The man had only gone five days before making his move and I hated the feeling of being forced to do something. Flashbacks of the Red Room had filled my head and I felt like I was back there again, which brought a sick feeling to my stomach.

Coulson said that he was sending Clint back to the S.H.I.E.L.D base that day and that we would go back to being partners. I sighed in relief from the news and spent the rest of the day in my room. I took about 5 showers to try and help myself feel better, but it didn't help very much. Whenever someone touched me, I had to have a shower. I washing off my past memories and feelings and reassuring myself that I was safe. Every time I trained with Clint, or anyone for that matter, I had to do it, because my skin would be touched. With Clint it was only one or two showers, but with anyone else I had to shower at least three times. It was a habit that I had developed ever since I had joined shield. I found myself doing it more and more from the day I joined, ending up having about 9 or 10 showers every day when I was with Clint, the number slowing decreasing over time to the 1 or 2 mark. I never went without showering after someone had touched me, even if it was a graze of the fingertips.

 _I was walking around my room in my underwear, trying to find something to wear, when there was a knock at the door. "I'll be there in a minute." I called. I hoped that it was Clint and my heart suddenly beat faster at the thought of seeing him again. I hadn't seen him for a few months and, not that I wanted to admit it, but I missed him. The only reason why my heart beat faster was because I was excited to see the man. It had been months._

 _I stopped myself, my hand hesitating above the piece of clothing I was about to pick it up as I realised something. I was compromised. I had let myself get emotionally attached to someone and I tried not to think about it, shaking my head and picking up a t shirt and a pair of shorts to wear. I hurriedly put them on, pushing the thoughts of being compromised to the back of my mind as I walked towards the door. I wasn't compromised. I had a friend. That was all._

 _I turned the handle, opening it to find Clint standing there, bow in his hand and quiver on his back. I stood there for a moment, taking in the image of him. He was wearing his Hawkeye suit, sleeveless this time. I noticed a bandage on his arm and a couple of cuts from battle there too. His blonde hair was skewed and he wore a small smile on his face. His baby blue eyes were locked on mine and I tried to break the contact, but found myself unable to. I hadn't seen him since before we had gotten split. I really did miss him._

 _"You gonna invite me in?" he asked and I felt my lips twinge upwards._

 _"Of course." I said, opening the door a little more to let him in. He walked past me, the smell of blood faintly drifting through my nostrils, and I shut the door behind him, leaving my fingers against the cold handle to calm myself before letting my fingers retract._

 _He placed his bow and quiver on the desk before standing in the middle of the room. "How have you been?" he asked as I slowly walked towards him. I stood infront of him, about a metre away, and watched him for a minute. His eyebrows twitched at my blank facial expression and I took a step closer to him. "What is it?" he asked, but I involuntarily replied with an action rather than words._

 _I quickly threw my arms around his neck and buried my face into his shoulder, feeling the need to hold him close. I never showed this type of intimacy with anyone, not even Clint. I hadn't hugged anyone in my entire life, not that I was aware of anyway. Maybe I did before I was 5 years old, but I couldn't remember any part of that life. I held him tightly, keeping my body close to his, and I had to stand on the tips of my toes to get that high. I hated how small I was sometimes. It made reaching onto high shelves a pain in the ass._

 _He didn't respond for a moment, out of pure shock probably, but put his arms gently around my waist, pressing me against him. He bent down a fraction, so that I didn't need to lean up so high. He knew that I wasn't a hugger and knew that this was a big thing for me, not doing it with anyone else apart from him. I was worried when he left to deal with whatever Coulson had sent him out to do, because no one told me what the assignment was. I later found out that it was to do with some form of mysterious alien object that had fallen from the sky, but I didn't receive any more news._

 _My arms that were around his neck tightened and I wondered whether he had any injuries, but he didn't seem to be complaining or whining about them like usually did when he was hurt. I hoped he didn't get the message that I was concerned about him. I had no idea whether he was alive or dead. We had never been apart that long before and it scared me to think that he was going to leave me after the time that we had spent together. I made no connection with anyone in the Red Room, but I had made one connection on the outside of the torture chambers and that was Clint. I shouldn't have allowed myself the luxury of a strong friendship, but I didn't even realise that I had created one until we hugged._

 _He buried his head in my shoulder too, his warm breath tickling my skin as he breathed out against it, and whispered "I missed you too."_ _I smiled to myself as he held me tighter, his warm hands pressed flat against my back. I felt a small shiver go down my spine as I heard him hum, the vibrations from his chest working their way through my body. "I should go away more often." he said and I laughed. I had begun to laugh more around Clint, realising that it made him smile when I did and I liked laughing. I had been deprived of it, not finding anything funny to laugh at in the Red Room, so I decided to do it more often now that I was free._

 _"Don't think this is going to be a common occurrence." I replied, pulling away from him to look at him seriously. His face was tired and concerned about...something. He seemed distracted as I pulled my arms away from where they were wrapped around his neck. I could almost feel the anger coming off of him and decided to asked him what was wrong. "What is it?" I asked, slightly grazing my fingertips down his well-shaped arms as I looked at him. His eyes followed my fingers for a moment before they shot up to me again. I removed my hands and crossed my arms over my chest._

 _"I heard about Garrison." he said and my eyes drifted to the floor. "Did he seriously try to make a move on you?" he asked and I could hear the anger bleeding through his voice. He shouldn't have cared as much as he did, but I let him anyway. There was no arguing with Clint. He was too stubborn._

 _"Yes." I replied simply, looking up at his tense jaw line and intense eyes. I think anyone could see that Clint was more than willing to put an arrow through the agent's eye socket. "Please, don't kill him." I added and he furrowed his eyebrows, curious as to why I could so easily read him._

 _"Have gained some sort of telekinesis ability while I've been away?" he asked, curiously. I knew he was joking, but I wish that I did. I would've been grateful to know what was going on in that big head of his._

 _"I don't need to get into your mind to read you." I replied truthfully and went over to the desk to find a hairband. My hair was irritating me and was dripping wet after my shower. Clint didn't complain about it when I hugged him, but I saw him wipe the side of his face, getting the drips off of his cheek. I felt his eyes on me as I picked up the hairbrush and began to comb through the red tangled knots that I owned. I put my hair up and turned back to him. He was fiddling with the bow string, thoughts playing on his mind, but looked up when I sat on the sofa, joining me a few seconds later._

 _"So how was New Mexico?" I asked, trying to make him forget about the fact that Garrison tried to feel me up, but I could still see that he wasn't doing any good. He sat down and sighed, leaning back against the cushions as he explained about Thor's visit to Earth._

After that, we were never split up again in fear that the agents would go all types of crazy on me. In a stupid way, I was happy that Garrison made a move, because it meant that me and Clint would remain as a team. We continued doing missions, as we always did, but I never hugged him again...that was until New York happened. Loki invading Clint's brain completely changed the assassin. He was different to say the least. The nightmares invaded his dreams every night as well as my own, thought I was used to it. I never thought about Clint having nightmares, but he never said anything. Then again, neither did I.

Fighting him was something that I never wanted to do again. It pained me to know that he under Loki's spell, so waking him up gave me great relief. The fight in Budapest was similar to that in Manhattan as the enemy kept on coming. The Battle of Manhattan was much worse than the arms dealer fight in my opinion, especially for Clint. He had been shot at that arms deal fight, but Loki had hurt him so much more than that by taking over his emotions. After Loki had left, I knew he would have nightmares and I knew that I would be there for him, not that I minded. I liked looking after Clint and making him feel better, which I knew I shouldn't have.

 _After the battle finished, we went to get shawarma and Tony offered us a place to stay at Stark Tower for a few nights while the press were trying to decide whether we were the enemy or not. Me, Clint and the other three members of the team each had a separate floor. Stark had ten different guest bedrooms in case there were conferences or guests of his that needed accommodation._

 _I had settled into my room, my bag on the side of the bed, and found myself leaning up against my bed post, thinking about the past few days. New York was half destroyed and all the Avengers were tired, but I couldn't fall asleep, not that it was different to any other night._

 _'Slowly and intimately'_

 _The words were repeating over and over in my head, the sound of Loki's fist hitting against the glass, making me jump where I was sitting. Suddenly, I heard a knocking at the door and jumped again at the violent at the sound, sitting up quickly. I had a quick flashback to Loki and got scared for a moment that it was him, but then told myself to stop being so stupid._

 _It must've been Clint. He was the only one that would dare to come and see me in the middle of the night. Also, he was in a fragile state at the moment, especially with Phil's death. I sat up properly, moving off of the bed, to unlock the door._ _Clint was standing there, breathing heavily with beads of sweat across his forehead. The top of his shirt was drenched and he was wearing some fresh looking pyjama bottoms, one's that he probably put on only because he was coming to see me. My heart ached at the thought of the pain he must've been feeling, my heart only feeling that way very occasionally in my life, only for Clint. He was forced to fight me and I would never, in a million years, feel comfortable fighting Clint in a way that wasn't sparring for training purposes or for fun._

 _"I'm sorry..." he said, breathlessly, and I shook my head at his stupidity._

 _"Don't be." I replied, softly. His eyes were empty and hopless. He needed to be comforted and there wasn't anyone like Phil or Maria around to help him, but I would always be there. I took his hand softly and led him into my room, letting go of his hand to shut the door behind him. He walked forward a few steps in a zombie-like fashion and stood in the middle of the room._

 _"Do you...do y-you mind if..." he began, stuttering over his words and shaking. He must've been cold and I walked up to his side as he tried to finish his sentence. "If I stay...here..." he finished, locking eyes with me. His eyes almost looked hollow and I struggled to find any feeling of emotion apart from fear resting in them._ _"I don't mind sleeping on the floor." he said, his teeth chattering. I got a tissue from the desk and walked back to him, putting my hand on the back of his neck. He flinched slightly at the contact, but welcomed it after a second, leaning into the touch after a moment. It was something that I would never do and I was surprised his motions. He was vulnerable though and I let him do so. If it helped him, then I would let him do whatever he wanted. I used the tissue to wipe the beads of sweat off of his forehead and neck before throwing the tissue in the bin._

 _"You can sleep on the bed." I told him and he nodded, shakily. I put my hand on his shoulder and stroked it softly. I heard him breath in unsteadily and I asked "Do you want to talk about it?"_

 _He shook his head slowly and I led him over to the bed, taking his warm hand in mine. "You want another shirt?" I asked and he nodded._

 _I went to my bag that contained a spare shirt for Clint. We always carried a spare set of clothes for each of us just incase one of us lost our bags. I pulled out a random shirt and handed it to him as he sat up on the bed. As always, I turned around to give him some privacy. I had only seen Clint shirtless once, when he was training, and it was only for a second, but I wouldn't describe it as unpleasant. The thoughts were taken from my head when Clint cleared his throat indicating that he had finished._

 _He put his shirt next to him on the floor as I sat next to him, both of us cross-legged on the bed facing each other. He held his hands in his lap, fiddling with them to give him something to do. I don't know why, but I had the urge to reach forward and grab them. I told myself that it was out of irritation from his hands twitching, but I don't think it was._ _I slowly put my hands forward, placing my palms over his and he shut his eyes. He turned his wrists so that my palms were over his and our fingers were intertwined. His thumbs stroked the side of my hand gently and he ducked his head. "Clint.." I whispered, my voice barely audible. It surprised me when I found pleasure at the feeling of our fingers touching, something that I had never felt before in my life. I put the thought to the back of my mind, knowing that I was selfish and shouldn't have thought about our intimate moment in that way. He needed help. I scolded myself and focused on how he felt._

 _His body began to shake and I saw tears fall onto our linked hands. I slowly let go, him resisting before letting me move, and positioned myself to sit against the headboard. I looked at his distant eyes and patted the side of the bed._ _"Come here..." I said and h_ _e looked up at me, the tears falling down his cheeks. He slowly climbed up towards me and sat next to me. I reached my hand out and placed it in his again. It was then that I realised that his hand was shaking._

 _"He was...going to make me kill you." he said, his despairing voice breaking as he spoke. I looked to my left to watch him and he was looking straight ahead at the wall opposite the bed._

 _"Come on..." I told him, squeezing his hand. "You need some sleep." I moved my body down, so that my head was resting on the pillow, and he followed. We turned onto our sides facing each other and after a moment of looking at his eyes, I shut my eyes._

 _I lied there for a few minutes, keeping myself awake so that I wouldn't have a nightmare when he was with me, but found myself flinch when I felt a small pressure on my arm. I was surprised to feel Clint's hand touch my shoulder and make it's way down my bare arm, landing on my forearm, making my eyes flutter open and stare at him. I was wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts, but I felt comfortable this way about Clint and knew he wouldn't take advantage, especially in his current state. His eyes were wide and intense, heavy breaths escaping his lips, but I wasn't sure what he wanted._

 _"What do you need?" I asked, confused as to why we was holding me._

 _"I need to know that you're real. I know you don't like being touched, but p-please...I need to know you're real." he said with desperation, tears forming in his eyes. I really didn't like being touched by people, but I was more familiar with Clint. He was the only person that I would allow to be this close._

 _I nodded and let him put his arm around me. He pulled me close to his chest and held me tightly, causing me to feel a little claustrophobic, but it was worth it if it meant Clint was feeling better._ _We stayed like that for the whole night, him holding me tightly against his chest as I gently moved my hand up and down his back, whispering that it was always there when he started shaking. The reassurance put him at ease as after a while he stopped shaking as he began to fall asleep._

He continued to come into my room for the next few weeks, staying with me like that until his nightmares were better. I knew that the nightmares would never stop for him, but I could help him at least. My showers increased for a while, but I found myself not needing more than 5. I thought I would've needed more as having someone lying with you every night was an intimate situation, but I guessed that my body had gotten used to Clint being around. After about four weeks, he said that he was feeling better and he stopped visiting me at night. I didn't tell Clint about the nightmares that I had, even after knowing him for fifteen years. Because of his visits during the night, I had to sleep for two or three hours during the day to keep myself awake. I always was a private person and I didn't want him caring too much. He knew that I had them, but we never discussed the matter. Whenever we were on a mission together, I always requested a separate room. If we had undercover missions together when we had to be in the same room to maintain cover, I never slept incase I did have a nightmare and he found out. I didn't want to make his condition any worse either.

Things returned back to normal, us switching between Avenger's missions and S.H.I.E.L.D missions. I was uncertain about whether I was an agent or an Avenger anymore. Me and Clint worked together on most of our missions, but after a few years, Fury assigned me to work with Rogers for a while, wanting to mix up the team and get us to interact with different people, Clint working with another agent for a while.

Fury reassured me that it was only temporary, but I still wasn't very happy with it. Me and Steve got along okay, but I missed having Clint around. I still saw him for a few days of the week when I visited the tower occasionally. I even made up the excuse that I needed to sort out my clothes and some other weapons, though Clint was the real reason why I wanted to be there. Our friendship was strong and having a new partner wasn't going to break that.

Me and Steve worked quite well together, which surprised me, but it wasn't as flowing as mine and Clint's. I didn't go into the partnership believing that it wasn't going to be as good as mine and Clint's relationship, but it just wasn't. We worked efficiently though, acting as the new STRIKE team while Clint was doing some private training with another. Then HYDRA had to get involved with everything.

I spent time away from the tower, away from Clint, working out how to fix the mess that HYDRA had caused. After saying goodbye to Steve and Sam at the graveyard, I made my way to the city and stayed undercover for a few days, keeping my emergency phone on me. I remembered getting a few calls from Fury about gaining a new cover and joining the Avengers, but I didn't feel like joining the team, not without definitely knowing that Clint was definitely going to be on it too.

 _It had been about a week since I said goodbye to Steve and Sam. My trials were over and I wasn't expecting there to be anymore. My last speech gave quite a statement about me, showing the world that I wasn't afraid of the government. Even though I had been public on televison, I always managed to sneak back into my hotel, changing into a wig and a different set of clothes to make sure no one recognised me. Because I had helped expose HYDRA, they didn't keep me in a cell and let me roam like the other Avengers._

 _The phone rang and I gladly put down the horrendous magazine I was reading to pass the time. I looked at the caller. **CLINT**. I immediately picked up the phone and put it against my ear._

 ** _"Nat?"_** _I heard his voice ask over the phone. I could tell that he was worried, because his usual sweet voice sounded more serious._

 _"Clint..." I whispered, feeling relieved to hear him. I had missed him over this past week. I wanted to go back to the tower, but that would mean joining the Avengers and I wasn't sure whether they wanted me there or not. Fury said they did, but Fury didn't speak for the Avengers. I had practically betrayed my country, giving all of S.H.I.E.L.D's secrets to the world._

 ** _"Tasha, where are you?"_** _he asked. I decided to tell the truth, knowing that he wouldn't tell anyone and that we were too close for him to bug the call._

 _"Hotel in the city." I replied, sitting up on my bed, looking at the bag that was already packed. I was stubborn. I wanted to go to the Avengers, but I needed to know that they wanted me there._

 ** _"Are you coming home?"_** _he asked. The Avengers Tower wasn't my home, but me and Clint knew he meant himself. I thought about it for a second...and I realised that he really was my home. I had no memories, nothing of my past apart from the Red Room and Clint, only one of those being stored in my mind with positive memories._

 _"Do you want me to?" I asked, getting up from where I was seated to pace around the room slowly._

 ** _"You're my home too remember."_** _he reminded me and I stopped pacing to smile at his sentiment. I should've only guessed that we would've gotten this close after 13 years. I knew from the beginning that joining S.H.I.E.L.D might have been a mistake. I wasn't sure what path I would be on if I didn't join the organisation...where would I be if I didn't meet Clint?_

 _"I'll be there in a while." I replied and hung up the phone, getting my bag and walking out of the hotel suite to Clint. To my home._

After meeting up with Clint and settling into the tower again, I spent the next year fighting with the Avengers, standing side by side with Clint most of the time. However, in the late months of 2014, Fury called me and assigned me to another mission, one that I really wasn't a fan of.

 _I picked up the phone, wondering why Fury was calling me. Clint was casually sitting on the sofa, drinking a coffee and looking on the internet for something. We had finished another Avengers mission yesterday and we were spending time together like we always did after missions, sitting down and drinking coffee. I preferred vodka to coffee, but apparently that isn't an appropriate drink to have in the morning according to everyone else. I say everyone else, but Stark was one person that agreed with me. However, agreeing with Stark wasn't usually a wise decision, so I stuck to coffee in the mornings._

 _"What is it, Fury?" I asked, placing my coffee cup gently on the glass table, worried that I was going to break it. Stark had hardly touched his trillions by making up new Avengers rooms for us. I was more than grateful and put him on the list of people that I owed debts to._

 _He told me what he wanted and I had to stop my jaw from dropping. "Hang on a moment" I said, getting up and heading into the bathroom, leaving a confused Clint sitting on the sofa. When I was safely in the bathroom, walking over to the other side of the large room to get further away from the door so that Clint wouldn't hear our conversation I asked "You want me to what?!"_

 _"I need you to start a romantic relationship with Banner." he repeated. I was shocked by Fury's request. Not only did I not like doing inside seduction missions anymore, but Fury wasn't my boss._

 _"I'm sorry, but I don't work that way anymore." I told him strictly. I didn't want to do this, especially to Banner. He was the Hulk. What if something went wrong? Banner was a good person and didn't deserve to be played by someone like me._

 _"Romanoff, you do understand that the team's safety is at risk here. Banner told his therapist that he was considering leaving the Avengers, because it was too dangerous." he informed me and I shut my eyes. That wasn't good. If Banner left, that would mean the Hulk wasn't there to protect us and the world. "We cannot have the Hulk away from the Avengers."_

 _"And you think making him fall in love with me is the alternative?" I asked and he sighed._

 _"He has a history of emotional weakness. A friendship isn't enough to make him stay, he has that with Tony. We need to use that to our advantage and, for the minute, convince him that the Avengers is the best place to be. Romanoff, you are doing this. No arguments."_

 _I sat on the side of the bath and put my head in my hand. Clint was not going to be happy about this. "What do I tell the others?"_

 _"If you mean Clint, Coulson, Maria, any of those people, don't even think about it. Don't tell any of the Avengers either. No one can know. Maria has been briefed and Coulson has been left out of it, seeing as the other Avengers, apart from you and Clint, think that he is dead."_

 _"When do I start?" I asked, trying to forget about the idea of keeping a secret from Clint._

 _"Now." he replied and hung up the phone. I heard the end dial tone and slowly brought the phone away from my ear. I was perfect for the job, probably the most qualified out of the team and not just because I was a woman. I had been trained for taking down people with my charm. It was one of the main tools that students in the Red Room would use to complete their mission._

 _I put my head in my hands and groaned. I didn't want to deceive Banner, he was one of my teammates after all, but if Fury needed me to, then I guessed I didn't have a choice._ _I walked back into the room, slipping the phone into my pocket as I did, and sat down next to Clint who was raising an eyebrow at me._

 _"What did Fury want?" he asked and I quickly made up an excuse._

 _"He asked me to go for another interview for the press, but I refused. They already know everything about me and I've already delivered my statement." I told him and he nodded, furrowing his eyebrow slightly at my answer. I couldn't tell whether he was angry at Fury or didn't believe me, but he let it pass._

After a few months of seducing Banner, I noticed that Clint was becoming more and more detached with me, his answers short and snappy, like he was irritated. I let it pass, but it came up in my brain now and again about why he was so bothered. Maybe he was protective of me in the same way I was protective of him?

 _Following the sceptre's re-capture, a party was held for our achievements. Tony did that mainly because he wanted an excuse to get drunk, but no one ever brought it up to the group. I remember Clint being with a woman that I didn't recognise and I felt my nerves jolt under my skin. I was always concerned about who he was dating as I didn't want him to end up with the wrong woman. He deserved more than getting his heart trampled upon. The woman was wearing a short, red dress that showed off every perfect curve. She was wasn't skinny, but she wore her curves well._

 _I wasn't sure what type of woman Clint went for, but when I did set him up with people, they had to funny. Clint seemed to find them the most attractive, caring more about the personality than what the woman looked like. I had the serum in me, so I was unnaturally beautiful, but Clint had never made a move on me. Perhaps he didn't find me a funny person, but then again, I don't think anyone did. He would laugh at the attempts at jokes that I made, but his jokes were much better than mine._

 _I noticed when the pair of them left the room to go and...do something I guess. I didn't care that Clint slept with people. Maybe the woman was actually really nice and I caught her with a bad style choice? Not likely. The woman seemed like a bimbo and I couldn't believe that Clint was actually going to sleep with her. Instead of dwelling on it, I decided to make myself a drink and flirt with Banner for a while, keeping up the mission Fury had set for me._

Later that evening, Ultron came and threw the whole party on his head and I thanked the invisible, make-believe God in the sky that Clint was here to throw Captain his shield as no one else probably would've gotten to it in time. He nearly got shot, but managed to avoid it, the robot shooting the glass instead. Clint always seemed to make a mess during battle, _especially with glass._ My mind went back to when he threw himself through a window during the battle of New York, which had caused bruising on his back that I took care of.

After Wanda brought back the memories of my past, I didn't even sleep. I spent the whole time awake, Clint trying to take care of me. Clint took us to a barn that he owned and said that he was saving it for when he retired. He took me inside and made sure that I was okay, not being as comfortable as he had been for the past couple of years. The past few months, he had been off with me, and I think it had something to do with me manipulating Banner, but he didn't know what I was doing.

 _I settled into my room and was staring up at the ceiling the morning after we arrived. I decided to take a shower, but realised that there was someone in there. Banner came out and I seduced him, trying to get closer to him. I decided to tell him about my Red Room past, trying to make him see that we were similar in that aspect. Fury told me to get close and that's what I was doing. I hated deceiving Banner, trying to manipulate him and make him attracted me._

When it came to the battle in Sokovia, I was situated to go after Banner, making sure that he turned into the Hulk as Fury had instructed hours ago. I kissed him, a kiss that I didn't want to perform, but Fury needed the Hulk, not the scientist.

The Hulk flew me up to the country and I fought my way through the robots around me. That's how I ended up running over the rubble of the destroyed buildings, making my way towards the ships taking away the Sokovians. I arrived at a side entrance, quickly hiding myself behind a building as I saw bullets hitting the ground making their way towards something. I didn't see what it was through all of the dust covering the surface.

I hid my body until the ship had flown over and looked back at who the shots were aimed at. I saw Clint there and panicked, thinking that the bullets had hit him, but then discovered that the bullets had hit Pietro instead. I ran towards them both as Pietro said something that I couldn't quite catch to Clint and then slowly dropped on the floor. I heard Wanda scream and had to block my ears from the sheer force of it, the power of it physically hurting me. I tried to put her misery out of my mind as I ran towards Clint.

"Clint!" I shouted, catching up to the car that he was stood behind.

"We need to get him back to the ship. We have no idea when this rock is going to drop." Steve said as he lifted Pietro's body from the ground. I was upset about the Sokovian, but, as much as I hated to admit it, Clint was my priority. Thor tried to take the child out of Clint's arms, but he held onto it tightly and walked past both me and Thor towards the set of ships. His eyes were set on the mother that was sitting on the ship.

"Clint..." I whispered, feeling a little rejected that he had not even looked at me yet. I was distracted when I saw Hulk jump into the ship that Ultron was on and I didn't have time for the fake relationship I had built with Bruce right now. I ran onto the miniature helicarrier, trying to find Clint there, but I couldn't see him. I saw a pair of Nike running shoes resting upright that were poking out of the end of the far bench on the floor, tied onto the bottom of a lifeless body that I couldn't fully see. The running shoes were the one's Pietro wore.

I walked over to him as the ship started to leave the city and saw Clint lying down on the seats next to the dead man. He had his eyes shut and I wanted to reach out, to comfort him, and say that I was sorry, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I went back to the other side of the ship and stared out at the destruction being caused. _How did it come to this?_ I thought as I leaned against one of the seats.

I saw a dead bodies on the floor of the country and shut my eyes, thinking about how we could've saved them, but images of my past kept forming in my mind. Ever since Wanda attacked me...I couldn't get rid of them. But there was no time for that. I needed to get a grip and carry on. I watched the country suddenly fall, making my breath catch as I saw Steve only just make it on the next ship that was leaving. I let out a sigh of relief when the country exploded a few moments later, not making impact with the ground, and I saw Vision carrying Wanda in his arms to the helicarrier.

As soon as the ship landed, I didn't wait for Clint. Standing on the ship made me understand that I needed to deal with the Hulk. Once Fury told me where he was, I got onto the computer and immediately video called him. As soon as the call connected, I started to explain to him what to do. I made sure to use a private room, so that no one could interrupt our conversation.

"Hey, big guy." I said, staring up at the creature that almost killed me. "We did it. The job is finished. Now I need you to turn around, okay? We can't track you in stealth mode. So help me out. I need you to turn on..." I stopped talking after a moment, realising that he had cancelled the call, his image now longer on the screen.

I sighed and leant back in my chair. "No answer from your boyfriend?" I heard a voice call bitterly from behind me. I spun round and saw Clint standing there, not even realising that he had entered the room until now. He was trying to be funny and tease me about Bruce, but his voice was completely void of humour.

"He's not my boyfriend." I told him, truthfully. Our eyes locked and I could see the tired look on his face from the hours of battling robots. The emotional toll must've taken a lot out of him too. I wasn't sure whether him and Pietro were friends or not, but seeing someone killed in front of him, one of the members of his own teams, can't have been healthy for him. Blood was dripping down from his shoulder that was from Ultron firing bullets at him and the child he had earlier.

"I know." he replied and I narrowed my eyes at him in a mix of confusion and annoyance.

"You knew?" I asked and stood up from my chair, letting myself get closer to him.

"You suddenly taking an interest in Banner of all people? Are you joking? Of course I knew." he said, not trying to sound arrogant at all by what he was saying. He knew the romance had no truth, because he knew me too well.

"It was-" I began, but he interrupted me.

"Fury. I know that too." I nodded my head, realising how he knew. Everything was making me think back to the Red Room. I couldn't get the images of being experimented on and used as a weapon out of my mind. Clint hadn't been around much these past few months and I didn't get the chance to properly talk to him after Wanda attacked me. I just need him to hold me like I held him after Loki. I felt my heart crush against me and I felt the oxygen slowly being taken out of my lungs. I was suddenly coming to realise how Clint must've felt that I lied to him, right to his face.

"The phone call." I replied, realising how he had come to the conclusion that I was on a mission. "He told me not to tell you." I felt my emotions over-power me, something that had never happened in front of Clint, and I clasped my hands together to stop him from seeing me shaking.

"Yeah, I figured that too." Clint said, walking towards me. He was looking down at the floor, trying to avoid my gaze, and I reached my hand out to touch his in hope that he would look at me. He flinched away, but I reached out to catch his hand.

"Nat..." he whispered, shaking his head as he withdrew his hand from my fingers. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, his tone hushed and eyes not moving from the same spot on the floor.

"Clint, please." I said, surprising myself as well as Clint. I never thought that I would hear myself beg. I felt my emotions choking my throat and it made me want to cry out in fear. My heart was pounding in my chest and my breaths were short, my eyes filling up with tears that were going to spill out any second. I saw Clint's eyes look up and soften at my fragile state. I didn't want his sympathetic looks. I wanted to speak up and tell him to stop looking at me in that way, but I couldn't find the voice to. I couldn't lose Clint, but I was going to, because he didn't trust me. He didn't want anything to do with me. I knew I wouldn't feel like this tomorrow, but for now...I was done...I was just done.

"I can't...I..." I was going to say that I couldn't lose him too, but the words never came out of my mouth. He swept me up into a hug and pulled me tight against him, his arms snaking around my waist to hold me up as I cried into his chest. I placed my hands on his shoulders, because I couldn't find any effort to push them all the way up around his neck.

I hadn't cried in years, not since 2001 when I was in the Red Room. I had felt tears come to my eyes occasionally, but never had a _real_ cry, not even to myself. I had told myself to remain strong and not break down. My chest was tight with pain and I was practically wailing into his chest, my tears spilling onto his shirt. My body began to shake and he took one of his hands away, pushing one of my hands around his neck to stop me from falling. I used the hand to grip onto his neck, leaving the other on his chest. One of his arms was on my lower back, around the side of my waist to keep my steady, and the other was higher on my back to keep my body close to his. I had never wanted him to be this close before. When Loki delved into Clint's mind, it was different. He needed me and I allowed him to hug me, so that he could heal. I needed to heal now and I needed my best friend back.

I stood there, hanging onto him like a monkey as slowly rubbed the bottom of my back with his thumb. "I'm here." he whispered, reassuringly into my ear. The soft breath that left his left caused me to shiver, but I don't think he noticed as I was shaking from shock anyway. I was shocked that I could be so emotional for one. When Coulson 'died', I remember Clint telling me that I could still cry and that I was human. I had argued that I don't think I even had the ability to cry, but Coulson 'dying' did hurt me. I didn't cry, but tears were definitely in my eyes. Finding out he survived was one of the best days of my life.

Clint was drawing little lines, back and forth, on my back with his thumb and I tried not to think to much on it, but it was more than comforting for me. The tears in my eyes were slowing as he leant down and stroked my head with the side of his. Clint continued to hold me for at least fifteen minutes after I stopped crying. I wondered whether he too had the feeling that we needed remain close to each other, but he was probably doing it because I was still shaking. He kept me against his hard chest until I stopped shaking and pulled away, one of my arms sliding to rest on his shoulder. He cupped my face in his hands and wiped away the tears trails that had been left.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked, removing one of the hands from my face, the other remained on it. The heat from his hand was warming not just the side of my face, but my entire body. I knew it was only chemicals flooding round, but I felt myself want to squirm out of his touch because it was too comfortable and I knew it wasn't appropriate. My heart kept pumping rapidly and I shut my eyes, trying to forget about the effect he had on me. The dark shade behind my eyes brought up images of the Red Room in my brain, forcing me to open them again. I withdrew the hand from his neck and he stroked my face once more before taking away his hand too, allowing my heart to return to it's normal rhythm.

"I'll be fine."

 **Hey! This chapter took me a whole 14 HOURS to complete with all the checks, so please I am begging you to review! It is linked in with my Pietro and Riley story and I will try and update once a week for each story, but I can't promise anything. So the pairs in these stories will be Maria and Steve, Riley and Pietro, Nat and Clint and Sam and OC. There will be four different stories all linking in with each other and will be posted in order, the Pietro and Riley story not quite in order with the rest as I began that first. I was going to do Pepper and Tony as well, but decided that it would be too much to handle doing that as well.**

 **PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Back To Life

**WARNING: Language**

 **Guest - Thank you very much for your review! I have a really in depth plot for these two, which is going to be, like, 50 chapters or so. Can't wait!**

 **Princess2016 - Really glad that you liked the story. So sorry for the late update - i've been away - but they should be more frequent from now on.**

I stood outside the room waiting for Clint to finish paying his respects. I had the temptation to enter the room, but decided not to. It wasn't my fault that Pietro died, but seeing Clint in this state was killing me. Not telling him about Banner was something that I deeply regretted too. Perhaps if I told him my mission was to flirt with Banner to keep him on the team, then Clint may have not been angry. Fury was one son of a bitch, but I wouldn't blame him for something that I could've solved. Telling Clint may have fixed our relationship. I looked through the glass doors and saw Clint who talking to Pietro's dead body about something. Wanda hadn't come to see him yet, but I had the feeling that was going to change when I saw her sprint down the corridor, Vision at the very end watching her for a moment. However, when she reached me, I saw Vision head in the opposite direction to us.

Her brown hair was in a mess, not much different to how it looked before the battle. Wanda didn't look like she obtained good health living in Sokovia, but I knew that that would change if she decided to become an Avenger, which I was convinced she would. Her eyes were red with tears and I could see little sparks of energy flickering from her hands. She stared at me for a few seconds before looking through the glass at Pietro, who was lying on one of the medical beds. I heard a small gasp go through her lips as she shakily reached up to grab the door handle. She opened the door and Clint's head snapped up to see who was there. Clint let go of Pietro's hand as Wanda entered and stood up. Slowly, Wanda walked over and lifted her delicate hand, placing it gently on Pietro's cheek.

"Brother..." she whispered, her full accent coming out of her language. "No..." she said, shaking her head as the door gently shut. The room was sound-proof, but I could lip-read Wanda screaming 'no'. Clint pulled her into a hug as she dropped to her knees, crying into his chest as he rocked her back and forth. I saw him whisper to her 'It's okay', but how was it okay? I knew Clint was just trying to be comforting to the younger Maximoff, but I doubted that it would helped her.

It took about 10 minutes before the girl started to calm down, less energy coming off of her body. I didn't know whether it effected Clint of not, but, if it did, he didn't seem to complain. Clint was like that, a person who never complained. Sure, he moaned about some things, but not as many as most.

I stared at the two of them, Clint's hand softly stroking her hair as she tried to come to terms with the death of her brother. Wanda knew that her brother was dead half an hour before this point, but seeing him lying there must've been horrible for her. They were close, anyone could see that. They were twins, but part of one soul. It must've been unbearable for her. My heart twinged at the fact that I could never be so heartbroken over something like that. If anyone was going to break me that much, it would be Clint. His death would be one that would cost me the only sanity I had left. As if he knew I was thinking about him, his eyes flicked up to where I was standing at the door. His blue one's made me freeze on the spot and I couldn't look away from him, locked there as if I were frozen by his gaze.

Hill came to the room at one point and was going to enter, but stopped when she saw how the pair were seated. She told me she was looking for Riley Moore and the name brought a few flashbacks to my mind, most of them being combat training. She was one of the agents that I used to train back at S.H.I.E.L.D when I had the time to, her skill set being similar to mine, because she was trained in a facility similar to mine. Hill left after I told her she hadn't been by yet. I continued to watch the room as Clint lifted Wanda up to stand next to Pietro. They began talking about something and I could only catch glimpses of what they were saying.

"Miss Romanoff?" someone asked from beside me. I broke my gaze on the pair and saw Riley Moore, an ex-agent of S.H.I.E.L.D standing there, clipboard in hand.

"Hi, Miss Moore. Are you here to do an assessment on Maximoff?" I asked, knowing that she was now working for Fury doing medical and field jobs, including writing down death reports, which was probably what she had come to do. I had an obsession after the DC incident where I re-searched every single agent that had been in S.H.I.E.L.D and kept tabs on them. I think Clint knew what I was doing, but didn't mention it.

"Yeah, do you think it's okay if I go in?" she asked, looking over at Clint and Wanda who were on either side of the medical bed. I nodded and smiled at her softly.

"They shouldn't mind, but be careful." I warned her and she nodded. I hadn't seen her in quite a while, but she hadn't change much, the odd combination of hazelnut, brown hair and blue eyes sticking in my mind. She entered the room, allowing me to hear Wanda's question to Clint - "How do you know that?" She was 100 percent going to blame herself for what happened, even though there was nothing she could've done to help Pietro survive.

"Excuse me for interrupting, but I need to do an assessment on him." Riley started and I could tell by Wanda's face that she was going to be offended, that and her arm was now protectively over her brother. The door shut and I saw Clint explain to Wanda that Riley was someone he knew. I spent only a couple of minutes behind the door staring in when I saw the doctor look at Pietro in confusion.

Suddenly, Wanda dropped to the floor, hands over her head, looking like she was screaming. Pietro bolted out of his bed, chest hitting Doctor Moore who was trying to attach wires to him. _That must've hurt..._ I decided not to go in, knowing that it would probably cause Wanda to freak out more. Clint was by Wanda's side, helping her in an instant, and after a few seconds, she recovered and stood up, immediately going over to Pietro's body.

I saw the mood change, sad, lifeless faces turning to happy and excited one's. Clint turned to me, raising his eyebrows in disbelief at what he had just witnessed before turning back to the scene. He told them something before coming towards me, a big grin on his face. "He's alive?" I asked and he nodded, gleefully.

"I need to go and inform Fury." he said and started to run off. I saw some of the other Avengers, who were walking down the corridor, stare curiously at Clint. He ignored them and continued to run as they all stared after him. Stark, who was at the front of the group, turned his head back to me.

"Widow, mind explaining why Barton looks happier than when he drank 20 cups of coffee in under half an hour?" he said and I quietly chuckled at the memory. He didn't stop running around the facility and, at one point, he started praying to the coffee machine. Clint did love his coffee.

The group began walking towards me again and I smiled at them. "Come and see for yourself." I told them and Tony shook his head.

"You ruin all my fun." he teased as they stopped next to me, curiously looking through the glass at Wanda and Riley who were talking most likely about Wanda's resurrected brother.

James looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. "What's going on?" he asked and I gestured to the door. They entered the room and I followed behind them, trying to see the bed behind their huge figures. I had to move out of the way to see properly as I was too short. _Damn my size._

"Right, what in Asgard is going on?" Tony asked. Both girls looked at us, Riley looking slightly shell-shocked at the mass of Avengers standing in the doorway. "Who's this dude?" I saw Riley's excitement fade a little from her eyes and I knew she was already annoyed at Tony's antics.

"Tony! Manners!" Sam warned, frowning at the billionaire.

"Sorry...who's this dudette?" he asked and I rolled my eyes at his immature behaviour. I knew Riley would be pissed off with the man, because she doesn't take any shit. She was like me in that way.

"Nice to meet you officially, Agent Moore." I said. We hadn't properly been introduced in the corridor and I thought it would be nice to break the ice as no one else had met the woman either and no one seemed to be properly introducing themselves.

"Likewise, Agent Romanoff." she replied and released her hand from my grip. I introduced the rest of the team, but Tony had to interrupt again.

"Okay, is anyone going to tell me what is going on?" he asked and I sighed at his stupidity. Riley may seem like an innocent little girl that listens to orders and doesn't fight back, but she could be one badass bitch when she wanted to be. I had seen her in action. Man, she could fight. I didn't know her on a personal level, but I had to admire her work.

"My name is Agent Riley Moore. I'm not a dudette, I'm a field agent and occasionally a medical agent. 'What's going on' is that this guy has just come back from the dead and I have no idea what his flipping power is, so I can't make a conclusion." she replied with as much sass as I usually do. I heard her gasp at her sudden outburst, obviously not expecting herself to snap so easily. I could see that she was a woman with pressure points and was vulnerable, but I guessed that most people were not like me.

"That's impossible." Vision said. I turned to look at him, trying not to be mystified with his features. Vision wasn't human, but wasn't a complete android either. He confused me. I hadn't even spoken to him yet, having no time to after the battle. When I first saw him, on Sokovia, I thought he was one of Ultron's androids, that was until I saw him talking and then fighting with other members of the team. I saw that he would be a powerful force with the Avengers, but I couldn't help feel curious as to whether he was really on our side.

"It's true. He had a pulse." Riley said.

"I believe it is because of his abilities." Clint said and I turned around, not even realising that he had entered the room. It must've happened when I got distracted with Vision. Our eyes caught for a brief second before I turned my head away.

"Would someone please tell me what his abilities are?" Riley asked, sounding impatient and throwing her arms around, obviously irritated by the fact that no one had given her the information that she needed.

"He has increased speed." Steve said, speaking up for the first time since he had been in the room. I noticed his eyes being primarily on Riley, rather than Pietro. I saw his brain ticking behind them, wondering whether she was a threat or not.

"Thank you." she said, sounding relieved, and I saw Steve look at the woman in surprise. Her impatience didn't seem to please Steve. "Because of those abilities, I agree with Clint's hypothesis. I believe that because he has an increased rate of speed, his body has a faster healing rate. That is why he returned."

Wanda nodded and added "He's always healed faster."

"Seem plausible. Well, coming back from the dead is something very impressive to put on your resume." Sam said, smirking. _Always the funny guy._

"I guess it would make him stand out from other candidates." Clint added and I tried not to laugh at him. His jokes were bad, sometimes really bad, but I always stopped, or at least tried to stop, myself from laughing. He looked over at me and I tried not to think back to the situation we were in not half an hour ago, me crying in his arms and holding onto him for dear life as I sorted out my head. I had never cried in front of his. Never. I blinked suddenly when I realised that his jaw was moving. He was eating, no surprise there. However, the fact that he was eating popcorn did surprise me. _Where does he hide this stuff?_

"Back to the point, he's alive. So we check his medical health and then train him like we planned originally before he was shot. Agreed?" Steve asked and everybody nodded, apart from Riley who probably didn't have any idea what was going on.

"We'll just have to wait for him to wake up." Wanda said, stroking Pietro's head tenderly with her hand.

"Don't think you'll have to wait that long. I think he's waking up right now." Rhodes said, gesturing to the Sokovian on the bed.

"Pietro!" Wanda shouted, leaping at the idea of him being awake. She stroked his cheek with the back of her hand and retracted it slowly when his eyes fluttered open. I couldn't see exactly what he was doing, but he seemed to be transfixed by Riley's face. He was waking up very slowly, but he didn't move his head from the direction Riley was in.

"Pietro?" Wanda asked, confused this time. Riley looked at him curiously as he gave her a soft smile. I could see her lips curve into a small smile, which didn't last for long before he turned his head to face Wanda. The smile that Riley gave him was almost unrecognisable to the human eye, but I still noticed it. I could see everyone, apart from me and Clint, focusing in on Pietro rather than the doctor, which wasn't a surprise. Me and Clint were trained to notice the little details rather than the big picture.

Pietro was looking at Wanda with so much care and I could see small tears prick the corners of his eyes. "Wanda?" he asked, voice rasped with sleep.

She reached down and hugged him tightly. "God, I missed you." she whispered, her voice slightly muffled by the shoulder her face was buried into.

"Missed you too." he managed to reply, his body language showing how he was in pain, but he didn't complain. He was probably over-whelmed by the fact that his sister was back.

"Errr...Pietro?" Steve asked and Pietro turned his head to Steve. "Do you understand what happened to you?"

I saw Pietro's body tense, his body becoming briefly rigid at the question. He relaxed after a second, but I couldn't get the look of fear in his eyes out of my head. Pietro was strong, looking after Wanda all those years in and out of HYDRA. I hadn't realised that they had joined our side until the battle came round too, realising that they were on our team only once Steve had said. I had never seen fear in the man's eye, but that question had brought back memories that he obviously didn't want to revisit. I had felt the same torture and knew that he wanted to forget his experience of death as quickly as he could. "We get killed we walk it off, right?" he joked with his thick Sokovian accent. I pretended to laugh, but, unknowing to him, glowered my eyes in suspicion. What had happened after he had died? What demons haunted his head?

"Don't start walking just yet though. We need to make sure that you are back in shape first." Steve said with a comforting smile

"How are you feeling, Mr Maximoff?" Riley asked, following on from Steve's question. My attention turned back to Riley who was writing down little notes on her clipboard.

"Pietro. And who are you?" he asked. The way his eyes stared at her, I could tell that he didn't trust her.

"I'm Riley Moore. I was assigned by Director Fury to examine your body after your death...which obviously isn't the case anymore. So I..um...am guessing that I will now be your nurse, an occupation that I am fully qualified for I assure you." Riley explained nervously. The woman had probably never experienced someone come back from the dead before, like most people, but she was doing well compared to how some people would've reacted.

"Why is she rude to me, but nice to him?" Stark muttered, his tone so quiet that some of the group didn't hear him. I only heard because I was standing next to him.

"Because Pietro isn't an arrogant asshole." I quietly replied through my teeth, not even looking at Stark as I kept my attention on Wanda, Pietro and Riley.

"Switching from a medical examiner into a doctor? Quite a career change." he said, with a flirtatious smile on his face. Perhaps Stark and Pietro were more similar than I first thought...

"Well I like to keep things fresh." Riley joked and Pietro laughed, but started to cough after a moment. "I'm sorry. I s-shouldn't have done that." she apologised, immediately.

"Don't worry about it." he said, as Wanda passed him some water. Riley adjusted the bed's position, so that he could sit up better and see us all.

"I will have to finish attaching the wires to you to examine your vital signs. I hope this is alright?" Riley asked and he nodded, sipping his drink.

"Do what you have to do." he responded, passing his glass back to Wanda who took it and placed it on the side.

"Is your head feeling okay now?" Wanda asked Riley as she began to attach tubes to Pietro's body. The girl didn't notice that Wanda was talking to her and I didn't realise what she was talking about until I remembered her face being his by Pietro's chest. Riley looked up at her and realised that she was being spoken to.

"A little sore, but I'll survive." she said and smiled, going back to her medical work.

"What happened to you?" James asked as she distracted herself with her clipboard.

"I erm…" Riley said, looking between Pietro and Rhodey as she thought of a response. The girl was kind of cute, being all flustered about her embarassing moment.

"Quick kid here hit Riles with his chest." Clint said, chucking a piece of popcorn up in the air and catching it in his mouth. _Why could he never eat like a normal human being?_ "It was quite amusing..."

"I did what now?" Pietro asked, eyes wide staring at the girl. I saw the pair of them blushing and wanted to roll my eyes at their behaviour. Pietro wasn't a difficult person to have a crush on, I guess. He had a well-sculpted body, an eight-pack set of abs in fact, and his face seemed to be well chiselled. He was overly flirtatious, like Stark, which was probably what attracted Riley to Pietro.

"Do not call me Riles." Moore said, glaring at Clint as she blushed. Clint just gave a satisfied smirk and winked at the girl.

"I'm really sorry." Pietro said, turning his head to her.

"Don't worry about it." she said and smiled awkwardly at him. As they continued to talk, I leaned over to Clint and put my lips by his ear, so close that I almost brushed the side of his cheek with them.

"Twenty dollars that they start dating within the month?" I whispered to Clint who smirked at my proposition.

"Within three weeks." he bet and I nodded at our game.

"Deal." I said and smirked to myself as I leaned back to my place. Me and Clint bet on a lot of things, such as when Tony and Pepper were going to get married and when Steve was going to get a girlfriend. I looked around, noticing everyone smirking at Riley who was blushing.

"Does this mean that I'm immortal by the way?" Pietro asked with an excited look on his face. _Imagine an immortal member on the Avengers team...nothing would stop us._

"Getting shot? Yes. Being decapitated? Probably not." Tony said, skillfully throwing a piece of food into his mouth. _Where was everyone getting food from?_

"Are you going to be okay here for about an hour? We need to finish speaking with Fury about what happened in Sokovia." Clint said and I assumed him and Fury must've spoken about having a meeting.

"Good food," Pietro said, grabbing Clint's popcorn bag, because he was right next to him. Clint groaned, but didn't bother taking the popcorn back. I didn't understand how Clint kept his figure and white teeth when he ate so much bad food and drank so much coffee. "a babbling nurse." Pietro said, winking at Riley as he ate a piece of popcorn. _Did she ever not blush?_ It was only encouraging Pietro to flirt even more with her. "I think I'm gonna be fine resting here for another hour."

"I'll speak to you later okay?" Wanda said and kissed his head, resting there for 5 seconds before she reluctantly pulled away. I would never understand the close relationship the two of them had. I didn't have siblings, not that I was aware of anyway, and Clint was my closest friend, but I don't think we would refer to each other as brother and sister. Partners was the word I was comfortable with.

"Goodbye sister." he smiled and she returned the sweet smile before leaving with me and the other Avengers. When we were out of the door, we made our way back to Fury in our group without Pietro, Thor and Banner. I was still feeling guilty about leading Banner on and making him believe that I loved him.

Us walking down the corridor caused more disruption than I would've liked. People were shouting at us as we walked, probably recognising Stark or Cap the most out of all of us. I kept my head high as we walked through the upset mob of people. Stark was the one that everyone knew as Iron Man, probably the most famous out of all of us. I wanted to literally kill him in that moment. How could he have been so stupid to reveal his secret identity? What an idiot?

Suddenly, my wrist was grabbed by a furious Sokovian who was in the corridor. "Murderer." the woman screamed in my face as she reached her other hand out to grab my shoulder. Before she could get to me, a hand clasped round the woman's wrist in a tight grip. I followed the arm up to see Clint's irritated face staring angrily at the woman. He knew that I didn't like to be touched. The woman immediately stopped shouting as she turned her head to look at Clint. I tried to stay still as memories of the red room filled my mind. I tugged at her wrist, but she wouldn't let go.

"Would you be so kind as to unhand the young lady?" Clint asked, bitterly. He was practically spitting the words out at the woman who was looking disapprovingly at him.

"Would you rather me fight _you_ instead?" the woman asked, removing her hand from mine, but hooking it on his uniform. She pulled him threateningly closer to her and sneered at him, clutching the suit tight. I sighed when she removed her hold on me, but I felt angry again when she laid her hands on Clint. Only an idiot would be stupid enough to challenge an Avenger, let alone two, but some people didn't have enough sense to back down.

"You can try." Clint replied with a smirk and the woman scowled at him. I then realised that the corridor was eerily quiet, everyone now concentrated on the woman who was threatening Hawkeye.

"And if you challenge him, then you challenge us too." Tony said to him, but Steve put his hands up.

"Now, hang on, here. Nobody should be challenging anybody." he said, trying to bring the peace amongst us. "We..." I saw Steve look more nervous that I had ever seen him as he spoke. He couldn't even finish his sentence, jaw tightening and eyes darting around the room.

"We did our best to save Sokovia without causing too much damage. The bombs that damaged your country all those years ago were not Stark's fault, because they were stolen weapons. We will always do our best to protect you and everyone else in the world. Please, try and understand that." Sam explained, trying to look at the situation calmly. Sam had decided to take over Steve's speech as he looked like he couldn't manage it. Perhaps Sam knew what was wrong with Steve, because he wasn't well. Most of the people backed down, but this one woman still had her hands on Clint.

Sam stepped closer to us and started talking with the woman. "We understand that-"

"You don't understand a single thing..." she said, her hand loosening on Clint's suit as she turned to face Sam. "I had everything taken away from me." Tears were forming in her eyes and I tried not to knock her out, so we didn't have to deal with her bullshit. I just wanted to move on with everything we had to do today and, more importantly, take a shower, because her touch was still prickling the hairs on my skin. "My parents were killed during the bombings, my sister was murdered by aliens in Manhattan and my husband died in DC during the reveal of HYDRA. Now you have destroyed my home." she said, spitting out HYDRA's name like a poison. Her words blew straight over me and were gone within a few seconds. I didn't even think about the fact that her family was all dead. People move on, people always have to move on. They were all separate events, different times with different people. Clint to me is practically her whole family summed up, which is why it would be difficult to deal with his death, but the woman should've moved on by now if her family died at different times. In the red room, we were taught to kill our friends and for it to not matter. Death is just a process of life. People die everyday. Life matters, of course it matters, we need life to develop new technology and progress. But what was the point in mourning and grieving? The Avengers are about giving pain to those who deserve it and moving on. Maybe, I did deserve pain, but the rest of the Avengers, especially Clint, didn't. **(A/N - Black Widow's view, not mine)**

"I'm sorry." Sam apologised and looked around at the Sokovians. "I am sorry for the people that you have lost. We all are." he said, looking down at the ground and closing his eyes. "HYDRA has taken many that we love." He opened his eyes and looked up at the group. "But making us weak is not what they are going to do. The Avengers are not killers. We are protectors. And we will always protect you." He finished and walked away, the silent corridor remaining that way until we started heading out. Clint kept close to me, his shoulder brushing mine as we walked. I was still in my uniform, but the woman who grabbed me made my figure-hugging suit feel loose and her grip feel skin tight.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, softly, and I nodded. I clenched my teeth together, trying not to reply to him. I knew that my voice would give away how panicked I was. The woman hadn't scared me, but my nerves were on edge. People touching me always made me that way. Once we had reached the centre control room, we met with Fury.

"Instead of doing this now, we are doing it with Maximoff. We will meet in Conference Room 3 in an hour. Down that hallway on your left." Fury informed us and we all nodded to where he pointed down the corridor. "Hill can show you to your rooms." he said and Hill nodded.

"Yes, Sir." she replied and we moved away from the table. She pulled a male agent aside and said "I need Sokovians to be cleared from the corridors and into the second floor guest bedrooms. Fit four to each room. We'll have to make do." Hill was efficient in everything that she did, which was probably why I enjoyed her company so much. People usually irritated, but Maria Hill was someone that I could get along with for more than five minutes and not want to punch in the face.

We continued down the corridor, Clint by my side the whole time, and got to a door that looked as if it were a storage cupboard. Maria opened the door using her thumb and explained to us what this was. "Only Avengers, me and Fury can access this door. It is a set of dormitories that are for each of you. We created them just in case you needed them and well...here we are."

"Very good, Maria. I can't tell whether I'm angry or impressed that you snuck behind my back, the back of your boss, to work with Fury and his little team of helpers." Tony said, sarcasm filling every word. Hill sighed as we all gathered into the corridor that reminded me much of a hotel corridor with room's on either side, the only difference being that signs replaced the numbers that would be on the front of each door. I couldn't see the icons, but I could only imagine that they were Avenger's symbols.

Hill didn't say anything about the subject as we walked down it. "Vision and Wanda - we haven't done rooms for you yet, but there are five spare for you to chose from at the end of this corridor." she said and turned around when we reached the first set of doors. "Fury has informed me that you are to retire to your rooms until 6:30pm where we will meet in Conference Room 3. You can go in each other's room, but make sure that you get to the meeting room at that time. Does everybody understand?" she asked. I nodded along with everyone else and Hill smiled politely at us. "The room's should be self-explanatory." she added as she walked past us to the exit.

The Iron Man symbol and the Hulk symbol were first, the green fist catching my attention especially. I didn't feel any affection towards Banner, but I did miss him as a friend and I hoped that he was okay. We walked past all of the rooms, people moving off into their own. Me and Clint couldn't seem to find ours, but I saw where our rooms were. After all of the guest bedrooms, there were two doors next to each other at the opposite end of the corridor, one having a Black Widow symbol on and the other having a bow and arrow symbol. "I guess that's us then." I said, approaching the door with Clint. Everyone else's doors were at least a metre apart, but mine and Clint were right next to each other at the end wall. Mine was on the right and his was on the left.

I put my hand over the door-handle, the cold feel of it relaxing me somehow, and pushed the door open at the same time as Clint. I shut the door and looked around at the room I had been given. It was red and black, the colours I had suggested for my S.H.I.E.L.D room to be usually. It brought me some comfort in a helicarrier full of Sokovians that hated me. I glanced back over to the door and noticed another door perpendicular to the entrance. I walked over to it and pulled it open, wondering what was behind it. I entered the room and immediately realised it was Clint's when the whole room colour scheme was black and purple.

I walked further into the room and turned a corner to see Clint standing there, back turned away from me in just a pair of grey training sweatpants. I saw his scar-littered back and a few new grazes that were from the battle in Sokovia. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, groaning slightly, and I noticed that he was trying to remove the bullet that was planted in his shoulder. I had completely forgotten about it, because he didn't bring it up. He never did complain.

"Need help with that?" I asked causing him to turn around suddenly. He cried out in pain and I immediately regretted sneaking up on him. I rushed over quickly and sat beside him, picking up the tissue and tweezers that he was trying to treat his wound with. "Sorry." I whispered and shook my head. "Shouldn't have done that."

He laughed and I looked at him, confused at his response. I certainly didn't expect that. "It's fine. How did you get in anyway?" he asked, biting his lip. I could tell that he was suppressing his agony by doing so, trying to stop himself from verbally expressing his pain.

"There's a door that connects our rooms." I said, pointing round the corner.

"Huh..." he said, raising an eyebrow with amusement. "I didn't know that it was even there."

"They know us too well." I said, wondering whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. He smiled at me as I lifted up the tweezers and hovered them over his wound. His smile soon dropped. "Do you want me to clean it with Vodka first?" I asked and he shook his head.

"I really don't want to go through that pain right now. It will be more pleasant without." he said and I nodded, going back to the procedure. I didn't want to hurt him, but I knew that I had to help him. I slowly eased the tweezers into the wound and saw him wince as I did so, groaning and gritting his teeth to get him through it.

I winced as I tried to ignore Clint's grunts of pain. "Saying that, did you check the fridge for Vodka? I could use a drink." he managed to ask and I rolled my eyes.

"You could always use a drink." I replied, trying not to smile as I attached the tweezers on the bullet. He bit his lip and I noticed him reach his hand out to grab me, but instead averted his hand to the sheets, remembering that I didn't like being touched. The thing that I didn't want to admit to Clint was that I didn't mind him touching me, especially so that I could support him, but I was too much of a coward. I had gotten used to his touch and sometimes craved it, which surprised me greatly. He clenched the sheets tightly as he tried to control his breathing.

As I gently removed the bullet, trying my best not to hurt him, I used my free hand to steady his taut shoulder. I finally managed to get the bullet out and place it on his desk, quickly returning back to him to press tissue against the wound. I switched the tissue for a large gauze and taped it tightly to his chest, tape that he had already gotten out. He sighed and closed his eyes when I was done with my work, pleased that I had finished attending to his wounds.

His breathing was slowing down, the adrenaline wearing off of his body. His head leant backwards as he rested his bodyweight on his hands behind him. His eyes were closed and his lips were parted, the breaths he was taking audible. My eyes looked down at his hand that was resting on the bed sheet, duvet sheet crumpled beneath it from where he was gripping it moments ago. He had gone from gasping with pain to relaxing as soon as I touched his hand. I don't know what led me to do it, but I didn't even realise I was doing so until I felt his hand twitch underneath mine.

His eyes opened up and blinked a few times at me before looking down at the hand I put over his. He knew how much it took for me to touch him like that. I knew that I was being tender and gentle and all the things I usually wasn't, but I was tired of not letting Clint in, not romantically, but as a friend. "Are you sure I'm not hurting you?" he asked and I nodded, feeling the top of his warm hand under mine. I wanted to tell him aloud that I didn't mind him touching me, but couldn't bring myself to it, so instead I let my hand comfortably rest over the top of his.

I dragged my fingers across his hand and lightly held his thumb using it to turn his hand over. I pushed his fingers straight, so that our palms were touching each other, and linked our them together. He was now sitting up, so that his body weight was central and his hands had no pressure on them. I hadn't been that intimate with Clint before and it felt unusual, but not awkward. He looked up at me and smiled softly. I always liked his smile. I never usually did warm gestures like that, but it felt right to do. I didn't know why. I wasn't thinking straight, but I enjoyed knowing he was real. When I first met him, I thought I had dreamt him up as a form of escaping the red room hell, but after nights of waking up with a different ceiling to stare at and feeling my wrists not in handcuffs, I got used to the idea that I was free. He softly stroked the back of my hand with his thumb and whispered "Are you feeling alright?" he asked.

"I should be asking you that question." I replied, stopping myself from squeezing his hand tighter. I knew I was getting too close to Clint, but I wanted to be comforted, no matter how bad I knew it was to do so.

"Don't worry, Nat. I'm fine." he assured me, but I scoffed at his childish behaviour. Having a bullet in his shoulder couldn't have made his life enjoyable.

"You got shot, Clint. You're not fine." I told him and he rolled his eyes.

"I've been shot before. So have you!" he argued, gesturing to my body. I was a canvas of scars - bullets, knives and even an axe once.

"It's not like you build up an immunity to gun shot wounds." I stressed and he laughed at me. "Don't you laugh at me, Clint Barton, or I'll 'accidentally' mess up cleaning your wounds the next time you get shot." I tried to fight down a smile, but my right lip twitched upwards at his melodic laugh. His laugh always managed to make me smile.

"Wait, next time? Who says there is going to be a next time?" he said and I shook my head with disbelief.

"With you, there is always a next time, especially when you get hurt." I said and we chuckled, Clint's laugh being louder than mine as usual.

He shrugged and said "I guess you are kinda right." Clint squeezed my hand and I looked down at where they were tightly joined together. I heard him sigh to himself and I switched my eye-line to see what was wrong. He was staring at me with concerned eyes that were beginning to show tears forming over them. I was going to ask what the matter was, but he spoke up. "Are you okay after what happened with Wanda?" he asked, sincerity filling every fibre of his words. "I know that she dug something out that you didn't want to be reminded of and I don't want to know what that is, but know that if you need me, any time of the day, you can come to me."

"Clint, I already know that." I said. He had told me many times before that I could come to him for anything. He told me it the first day of meeting him.

"I know that you keep things from me. I'm not an idiot. Well, at least when it comes to seeing your true nature." he said, glancing down at the ground. I saw his eyes close as he held back the tears I could see him wanting to release. On the side of his cheek were two faint scratches that I hadn't noticed before and a long streak of blood along his jawline. I wanted to reach out and wipe it away, but I knew that Clint was trying to get through to me, so I listened to him instead.

"You know that you mean everything to me and I don't want to lose you." he said as if it were casual, but alarm bells were ringing in my head. I wondered whether he felt interested in me as more than a friend, but that was impossible...wasn't it? Clint was...well Clint and I was a killer. He was everything pure in the world and I was the exact opposite. One of the reasons I liked him so much was because I aspired to be like him. I wanted to tell him that he was everything I had, the reason that I woke up in the morning and why I stayed with the Avengers. I wanted to tell him that he was what I lived for each and every day...but my mouth stayed shut along with my secrets. "So if anything happens, if someone hurts you or you have a nightmare, then come to me, okay?" he asked and angled his head to look at me.

His eyes were no longer tear-filled, but his jaw was still tight in anticipation for my answer. The need to reach out and touch his cheek was gone. I didn't love Clint and telling him the way I felt about him would give the impression that I did. I would never lead Clint on like that. Telling him that he was all I lived for, each and everyday, wasn't something I could say off the cuff or ever. I wouldn't let him believe that he meant that much to me. He meant more to me than I did to him and if I didn't like him romantically then that meant that he didn't either.

"Okay." I whispered and slowly stood up to face him, gradually letting his hand go as I did. When we lost contact, I felt my heart pang with guilt. I should've been there for him, but I knew that feeling too much wasn't good for either of us. "We should probably shower and change." I suggested and he nodded as he stood up, groaning slightly. "Do you need me to help or-"

"No, I'm good. You?" he asked, his eyes scanning over me for any sign of injury.

"I'll manage." I replied and quickly left Clint's room to enter mine.

 **So sorry about the late update. If you've read my other stories, I've been away for the past two and a half weeks and only had my first free day yesterday, so I've been working constantly to get these chapters done. Please review, because it would mean the world to me! Thank you!**


	3. Hurt

**Okay...you have NO IDEA how guilty I feel for not updating sooner. School is sooo busy, even busier than I was last year, which is why updates are a bit slow this year, but hopefully I should be doing one update on one of my stories a week, this one needing some attention after not being looking after for a month or two. Whoops! Sorry about that. Anyway, I hope you like this. We will get back to the tower again in the next chapter or so. Thank you so much for following, favouriting, reading and reviewing. Your reviews really are the only thing that keep me sane, so even a little one would make my day. Thank you!**

 **Princess2016: Thank you so much for reviewing in the first place! I really appreciate all of your support!**

 **Previously:**

 **"We should probably shower and change." I suggested and he nodded as he stood up, groaning slightly. "Do you need me to help or-"**

 **"No, I'm good. You?" he asked, his eyes scanning over me for any sign of injury.**

 **"I'll manage." I replied and quickly left Clint's room to enter mine.**

 **I got into my room, shutting the door to Clint's room behind me, and reached to take off my suit. The one problem with the catsuit was that it was tight...really tight, which meant getting it off when I had an injury was a real issue. I zipped down to the bottom stop at my belly button and reached up to peel the material off my shoulder only when I did, I screamed out in agony, immediately regretting the move. _Damn it, Romanoff._**

I gritted my teeth and groaned through the pain, trying to look down at the wound on my back and failing. "Shit." I whispered and tensed my face as I slowly reached up again, groaning as I did. Just as I was about to reach the corner that I needed to pull down, a painful twinge shot through my back and I had to take my hand back down to my side.

"JARVIS?" I called and waited for a response, but got nothing. I immediately felt like face-palmed when I realised JARVIS wasn't on the helicarrier. _Idiot._

"Nat?" I heard someone call and realised that Clint must've heard me in pain. I sighed, clenching my fists, before making my way over to the door that conjoined our rooms. I opened the door, panting slightly from the stress of my injury. His brows were furrowed, eyes filled with concerned as he scanned his eyes with my body. I noticed them rest on the bottom of my stomach where my zip ended at my stomach and his jaw tensed, an emotion flashing across his eyes so fast that I couldn't identify it. He looked back up at my face, stepping forward through the door.

"What's wrong? Where are you hurt?" he asked, walking into the room with me. I didn't turn round to him until we were standing by my bed where I was before.

"I can't get off my suit. I think I've hurt my back more than I thought." I said, rolling my shoulders to help ease some pain in my back. It didn't.

"How did that happen?" he asked, hands going up to the top of my suit to take it off. Clint hadn't seen me that many times in my underwear, mostly being from mission injuries. I squinted as he took the suit off of either shoulder and rolled it down my arms.

"Hulk." I whispered, hoping that he wouldn't be too pissed off, but he was. Clint was very protective of me, remembering one month in at S.H.I.E.L.D when someone tried to attack me. The attacker was in hospital for weeks after Clint defended me, knowing that I couldn't hurt anyone otherwise I would be out of S.H.I.E.L.D for good. Clint stopped pulling down my suit for a minute and looked up at me, his face looking a little angry at the thought, a look that reminded me of Bruce in a way. "When he brought me from Ultron's prison to Sokovia, he threw me off of him...quite violently." I added as Clint continued his motions, taking the suit my arms, being much slowly that before. His delicate touch was gracing my skin every few seconds, shivers running up and down my injured spine, giving me some sort of relief.

I heard him hiss through his teeth when he turned me round to look at my back. "God dammit, Banner." I felt his fingers trace over the injury in turn causing me to hiss in pain, my eyes squinting together from his actions. "Sorry, sorry." he apologised immediately, removing his hands from my skin quicker than Pietro would've. "I can't...believe he did this to you..."

"Does it look bad?" I asked, hoping he could give some insight on the bruising.

"Painful." he supplemented, moving round to face my front. I much preferred having people in front of me, so that they were in my line of sight, rather than behind me where they could be raising a knife to stab me in the back, literally. "You want anything for it?" He always asked that question when I was injured, even though he knew the answer.

"No, remember what me and Maria say." I informed him, hoping that he would get the message to stop asking whether I wanted any medication after my injuries.

"I know, I know." He held up his hands in a defensive manner. "You guys prefer pain to normality, you mad people." he said, shaking his head with a small laugh. Then he slowly went back to his serious face again, a face that I wasn't very fond of. "At least let me put a bandage round you."

I stared at him for a few seconds and calculated that I wasn't going to win this fight, letting him bandage me being the only way I would ever leave the room. I was better qualified and skilled than Clint, the Red Room serum giving me more power than him, but with an injury he had more than a fighting chance. I sighed in defeat and pouted at him in annoyance, knowing that going against him would cause an argument. "Fine." I huffed and slumped down on the bed, Clint rushing to the bathroom.

When he came out with a medical kit, I knew he must've snooped round his room before coming to my door. Clint was always suspicious of new places, even if they were built from the agency he had been working for over seventeen years with. In his defense, I didn't trust anyone either and would've done exactly the same as Clint after getting the suit off, a suit that was currently bunched up at my hips after being taken off. I thanked myself for deciding to wear a bra on missions, even though the catsuit was tight enough to go without one.

"Here we go." he said, sitting beside me and opening the rather large first aid box carefully to reveal a set of bandages, stitching equipment and other medical equipment that was more advanced than when me and Clint used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. "It seems that S.H.I.E.L.D finally got the message that people hate going to medical." A smirk rose on his face as I laughed. Nobody liked medical. The staff were smart-asses and you spent hours waiting to leave, unlike another other hospital where you wait for hours to be seen and can't wait to be rid of you. Fury wanted his agents in tip top condition, which meant staying there for weeks in recovery sometimes. If me and Clint were ever forced to go, we left within a second of the doctor leaving, even if that meant scaling the outside of the building.

He shuffled closer and brought the material up, placing one piece on the bottom of my stomach, his warm hands tickling the skin there. "Is Lucky at the tower?" I asked, which may have seemed out of the blue to him, and did going by the look on his face, but the warm feeling reminded me of a feeling I felt in my heart when I saw Clint playing with that stupid dog of his. As much as I hated to admit it, I really liked that silly, pizza eating mutt.

A grin spread on his face at the mention of his beloved pet. "He's already being baby-sat by Hill's assistant. What's her name again?"

"Elisa. Very intelligent from the conversations I've had with her." I told him as he took my hand and told me to hold the start of the bandage in place as he wound the material around my stomach, being careful not to pull it too tight.

"Can't wait to meet her." He smiled gently at me and I felt something flutter in my chest at his statement. I was convinced it wasn't jealously, but secretly doubted myself in my mind for a moment, before reminding myself that that emotion wasn't something I felt. "Anyway, like I would go anywhere without you and Lucky." he scoffed, his eyes focused on the white mesh that he was securing around my waist. I tried not to read to much into his comment, I really tried, but I knew that I would be thinking about it for hours before I would sleep tonight.

"What would you do without us, Barton?" I joked and shut my eyes, my back pain feeling a little tenser as he pulled the bandage tighter. I could tell Clint was trying to think of something to say and failing to. I said it as a joke, nothing more, but obviously it meant something to him. We didn't speak after that, each waiting for the other to say something. It wasn't awkward, but I didn't feel comfortable, the need to have a shower irritating me, the prickling feeling underneath my skin making me want to run away from Clint and scrub my body raw.

After Clint was finished, he smiled at me. "All done." I nearly flinched at the sound of him speaking again, finding the silence quite peaceful in my mind though my body was craving the need of clean water.

"Thank you." I said as he packed up the medical kit, shutting the lid and making his way towards the bathroom. He turned just before he entered to put it back in a storage cupboard where I guessed it was kept.

"No need, Nat." He went into the bathroom and I stood up, wincing slightly at the pain in my back. By the time I had come to the bathroom door, he was leaving it, one hand on the door itself. He looked at me, puzzled for a moment, as I stood in the arch of the doorway, almost waiting for something to happen. And then it did.

I threw my arms around his neck, as if on impulse, and buried my shoulder into the top of his chest, my height only allowing me to reach that high. It would've been more comfortable for him to be shorter or me to be taller, but that was never going to happen. If I wanted a shoulder rest, I would've had to jump for it, something that I wasn't prepared to do. I felt his body immediately tense and I moved my arms so they weren't on his upper back, a place that I wasn't supposed to touch because of his haphephobia. It was something that he used to get very strongly, a side effect of being beaten as a child, but as the years went by, the condition got less and less, though I had heard his girlfriends weren't very happy when he turned down having sex with them, like that was the reason why they dated Clint? Why would you even need sex if you had Clint?

Moving my mind swiftly off of that topic, I thought about what the hell I was doing. My arms were wrapped around his body, his arms rigid and unsure about what to do about the unexpected show of affection. Realising that it wasn't the best idea to hug him so surprisingly, I started to move away, but he pulled me back, his reflexes finally kicking in as he hugged me back, a comfort that felt so different to anything else, definitely more than the way I felt when I saw Clint with his dog. His fingers were pressed flat against my wrapped up back, completely forgetting that I still wasn't wearing a shirt, and the warmth seemed through the bandage and into my body, the sense of relief coming to me again.

His chest was pressed up against mine, only a bra separating us, and the thought suddenly went through my mind about what would happen if I took it off. Quickly, banishing the thought from my head, I tried to calm down my racing heartbeat and enjoy the hug that we were sharing as _friends_ **.** I placed my arms around him and weaved my hands into the folds of his shirt, gripping them with my fists and burying my head into his chest, letting his scent fill through my nostrils like a breath of fresh air. He was so comfortable, his chest muscles acting as a cushion for my head, and I pressed him closer to me, every muscle in my body relaxing as we held each other.

We had hugged before, but nothing had been so intimate, and I would never admit it, but I preferred us like this, in each others embrace and not caring about the world. If the Earth didn't need to be saved and I didn't have to have a job and earn money, I would happily stay with Clint for the whole day. This however was the voice in the back of my head, a voice that I put on full mute most of the time and only leaked through when I felt a rush of emotion, which was what was happening with Clint. However, my mind refocused itself as he sighed against me, a vibration that went through his chest and my own, a smile coming across my face at how blissfully unaware we were. We were friends and I didn't want to jeopardise that because of a few more than friendly thoughts. He deserved better anyway.

We stayed in the embrace for another ten seconds before slowly pulling apart, my arms drooping to my sides aimlessly, swinging slightly from the momentum. His pupils darted between looking from one of my eyes to the other, never leaving my eyes. "When I say thank you, I meant it." I said, remembering why I went to hug him in the first place - I wanted him to understand. "I don't think you get how much I appreciate you caring for me. I do not know where I would be without your guidance so...thank you." My eyes dropped to look at the floor, hoping that it would swallow me up in that very moment. The past few hours, I was revealing more and more of myself, not just by taking of the top of my suit, but emotionally, I was slowly being disassembled into fragments.

His warm, marred hand rested itself on my shoulder and my eyes shot up, locking with his blue ones. "And i'm saying, don't worry about it. We are partners after all." he said, stroking my shoulder softly, before pulling his hand away, knowing that touching me for too long was a bad idea. "How about you get changed and then meet me in my room? Then go to that meeting together? I think we still have about 45 minutes."

I nodded, stepping away from the door and walking Clint back to his door. I don't know why I felt the need to say goodbye, but I did it anyway. "I'll see you soon then."

"Sooner than you know." he replied and winked, slipping through the door into his own room. A silence took over the room, one that craved Clint's voice or laugh, but no such luck. I sighed, peeled off the rest of my suit and hopped into the shower, hoping that my bandage wouldn't come off in the process though I knew it would. I wouldn't bring it up to Clint though, not wanting to bother him again. I hoped that he wouldn't notice.

After having a more stressful shower than I would've liked, bandages getting caught in the drain when I washed, I went to wrap myself in a towel, only stopping myself to look at the wounds on my back. I turned round, observing them in the mirror, a black, purple colour appearing on my lower back, reminding me of Clint - his colour scheme was black and purple, his favourite colour being purple and second favourite black. He had wanted an all purple outfit, but I warned him strongly against it. He thanked me afterwards.

I wrapped myself in a towel, like I had intended to do before being distracted by the mirror, and made my way out of the bathroom, searching for the most basic clothes I could wear. Sweatpants and a tank top - sounded perfect.

 **Things are going to get a little more intimate in the next chapter, but don't get too excited ;) Make sure you review. I put a lot of time and effort into these stories. I would appreciate some love! Thank you for reading!**


	4. Introductions

**No reviews on my last chapter, unfortunately, so I thought I would give you all another update to see whether it sparks anyone's inspiration to write! Hint hint ;) Anyway, even if you don't review, enjoy the chapter. CLINTASHA! There are SPOILER in this for my ROPM series!**

 **Previously:**

 **I wrapped myself in a towel, like I had intended to do before being distracted by the mirror, and made my way out of the bathroom, searching for the most basic clothes I could wear. Sweatpants and a tank top - sounded perfect.**

I quickly got dressed, biting my lip a little when putting on the top. It wasn't as tight as the catsuit was, but it still hurt to move that much. I headed back into Clint's room, already finding him on the bed, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else like he was before. I had the craving to reach out and hold him close to me, but stopped myself, knowing that it would be really weird and make things incredibly awkward between us.

He looked up at me and I could see how tired he was, the droops around his eyelids lower than I had seen them the last time I had come in. "You want to come here and give me a hug?" he asked, his voice sounding so innocent. It never sounded that way usually and I almost broke into a smile at his sweet nature. He looked like he was debating punching a wall and crying, so I knew that holding him in my arms was the right thing to do.

I walked over to him and sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching my hand out to stroke down his arm. He knew that a hug would be on my terms and not his, seeing as I never really let us have hugs. "Has your haphephobia come back?" I asked, not knowing whether it had come back to him or not. I hadn't asked the question in a while.

He shrugged. "I don't think I still have it, but just...be a bit careful." I nodded and settled down next to him so our faces were side by side, as were our bodies. When Clint was younger, he was beaten by his parents, haphephobia coming and going at some points. Clint's girlfriends found it difficult to put up with, which I found pathetic and stupid. Why would sex be more important than Clint's well being? He had been dumped in the past because of it. How could people be so insensitive?

I hesitantly put my arm on Clint's hip and wrapped my arm around his lower back, shifting myself closer to him. He sucked in a breath and I looked at him cautiously, worried that I might've hit a bad spot. "You okay?"

He nodded and rolled onto his back, leaving me to decide what I wanted to do. "Tell me if you feel any fear okay?" I asked, hoping that touching his back wouldn't trigger his bad memories. He huffed a laugh and I was confused why he would, but didn't question it. I wrapped my arms around his back and pressed my face against his chest, the warmth there making me shut my eyes and stroke his skin in a tender way that I hadn't done before. We had never been this close and I knew tomorrow would be different, my normal feelings would return. He felt so nice against me and I was tempted to nuzzle against him, but stopped myself, knowing that I couldn't make things more intimate than they already were.

He sighed as I put a hand on his chest and drew lazy circles against him. He cautiously lifted his hand and placed it on top of mine, knowing that if I didn't want him to do so I would've stopped him when he hesitated. "Do you think that the team are okay?" he asked quietly and I looked up at him, resting my head on his chest. I hadn't been this close to him before and never realised how young he actually looked. He had old eyes, but the rest of his face still looked fresh.

"I don't know." I replied, honestly, and shut my eyes, hoping that he wouldn't bring it up again.

"Tony seems a little shaken up." He sounded as if he had a point, so I questioned it.

"What do you mean?"

"I think Wanda used her powers on Tony while we were invading the HYDRA base..." he said and I furrowed my eyebrows in thought. That was actually a reasonable theory. "To encourage him to go ahead with Ultron."

"I think he should get a meeting with Sam. I mean, he doesn't even have a therapist. He thinks he doesn't need one." I heard Clint scoff.

"He's so blind sometimes." I smiled, agreeing completely with my partner. Stark was so wrapped up in things that he sometimes couldn't see straight. When he got that way, I never knew whether to punch him or sympathise for him. So far, violence had been the answer.

I turned my head and looked outside at the window at the cool breeze. I needed some fresh air, hoping that it would chill my racing mind. Thoughts of hurting Bruce were weighing heavily on my shoulders and I knew that it was one debt I could never repay. "Can we go outside?" I asked changing the topic, hoping that he would stop. I turn my head back to Clint who was wrinkling his nose as he looked at the weather - dark and grey - but I knew he would come outside with me anyway.

"We'll need jumpers." he said as I rolled away from Clint to stand. I walked towards the drawers and went straight to opening the bottom one, where S.H.I.E.L.D had always kept their jumpers. Unsurprisingly, two jumpers with the S.H.I.E.L.D logo on where placed there. I threw one to Clint when I saw he was standing near the balcony door. We both pulled them on and Clint led me outside.

Instead of having two chairs outside, there was just a large bench, which was perfect as I wanted to keep close to Clint. After missions, we would always be close together. I never usually want to touch him, the thought of it making me want to jump into the shower, but I allowed him to. Perhaps being grabbed by the Sokovian woman in the corridor made me crave for someone's touch that was familiar, even after the shower.

We sat down next to each other, rather rigidly, as we watched the bland sky pass us by. "Do you want to talk about it?" Clint was one of the sweetest men I had ever met, but he cared too much sometimes. Sometimes it was too much for me.

"When we get back to base." I replied sleepily, setting the rules out for him, knowing that he would follow. I rested my head against his shoulder and shut my eyes again. I was happy that we were given the privacy by having the balcony at the back of the helicarrier. I didn't want to be with anyone...apart from Clint. He was familiar, like the feeling of turning into your driveway of your house, not that I would have much experience with that.

I think after the battle, after using Banner like in did when I hadn't used someone in that way for such a long time, I was done. I was done with the bullshit, at least for that day. I knew tomorrow would be different and that I would be back to being the Black Widow, but for these last few hours, I needed to be Natasha Romanoff.

We sat there in silence, staring out at the grey sky, as the hours of battle replied in my mind. After a while of sitting there, God knows how long, Clint looked at his watch, undoubtedly checking the time for when we needed to leave.

"Come on, trouble, let's go." he said, nudging my shoulder so that he could stand up.

"Don't call me that." I frowned. He didn't usually call me that, but Clint came up with nicknames for me on a weekly basis, 'Tasha' being the most consistent one.

"What? You are trouble." he replied, innocently, but his smile was devious. I rolled my eyes and pushed his shoulder lightly.

"I know." I replied, walking past him back into his room.

"Hey, do you know where we're going?" Clint called from behind me as I stood at the door. There was no need to get wallets or phones, because we didn't have them with us.

"Forgotten already? She told us on the way. Conference room 3." I told him. My memory was excellent. I didn't know whether it was because of the serum or not, but I remember the Red Room conditioning it

"Like I'm supposed to know where that is!" Clint justified as we walked out of the door, leaving the nearly empty room to it's emptiness. I didn't like the S.H.I.E.L.D rooms, yet I did at the same time. It was comforting to have the same, clinical feel around me as S.H.I.E.L.D always had, but it never felt homely to me. Nowhere did. I looked at Clint, who was shutting the door, and wondered how the hell we had gotten this far. I would like to say that we completed our missions on my sheer skill, but it was our teamwork that brought the results. If they split us up again, I would at least want to interview the next agent he has to work with and give them a thorough ass-kicking. Clint only deserved the best, so I would need to know he had that.

When the door hit it's frame and locked, I turned my head quickly back towards the end of the corridor as we made our way down it.

When we exited through the entrance door to all the rooms, there weren't that many people in the corridor. The ones that were in the corridor were staring straight at us both, trying and failing to be discreet about it.

"Why can't they keep their eyes to themselves and not you?" he asked, sounding a bit miffed about people staring. I gave him an inscrutable look. I was attractive, the Red Room made me that way, but I knew that people stared, as did Clint. He seemed to be more bothered about it than I was, an uncomfortable thought that rested in my mind.

"I'm pretty sure they are staring at the both of us..." I replied, truthfully, and he shook his head, laughing to himself as we past a group of women that were staring at him. As they passed us, I gave them a glare and they both stopped smiling like teenage girls. Thankfully, Clint didn't notice the exchange.

"You need to get your eyes tested, Tasha." he said, reaching his hand up to open the door, pressing his finger against the scanner. We had gotten used to the S.H.I.E.L.D ways, even if they changed their helicarrier structure every two seconds. I knew that most of the agents were staring at me, but that didn't mean they weren't also staring at Clint.

We walked until we got to a sign that read **'C** **ONFERENCE ROOM 3'** and I looked to Clint. "Are you ready for the shit-storm that is about to implode?"

"Can't wait." he said with a fake smile and pushed the door open. Steve, Maria and Sam were already seated, Steve and Maria seemingly going through the file that was now in Maria's hands.

"How do you two look this good after a battle?" Sam asked. I smirked at Sam and winked at him before sitting down, but Clint had to say something about it and boost his ego.

"We always look this good."

I flicked my eyes over to Maria and she smirked. "Men." we both scoffed at the same time, smiling at each other at the common phrase we used when Clint was being a classic man.

"Would you two stop doing that?" Clint said, an annoyed look on his face. As we sat down, I angled my body so I could keep my shoe touching the side of his. It was a selfish indulgence that I knew would only last for that day. Clint didn't seem to mind.

"Inside joke?" Sam asked, eyebrow raised. Steve, poor thing, was looking between everyone looking completely clueless like he did when someone talked about some pop culture that he didn't know about.

"We were on a high-profile mission-" I began, but Clint interrupted

"It wasn't that important." he muttered, but I glared to silence him.

"We were trying to stop a drug-lord from selling six million pounds worth of cocaine." I argued and Sam slowly turned his head to raise an eyebrow at the archer.

"Man, that does sound pretty important."

"Clint was too busy chatting up a girl in the club to realise that the target was getting away through the front door." I replied and Clint groaned, hitting his head on the desk.

"I was blending in." he argued from his position on the desk, face mushed into the table making his words a little muffled.

"Thankfully, the Black Widow was focused enough to follow him." I knew I was sounding arrogant, but Clint knew that I was trying to offend him. Too much.

"How many times has Natasha saved your ass again?" Maria asked, a smirk now obvious on her face. My attention was drawn to Clint who dragged him head up from the table and glared at Maria.

"Language." Steve scolded, but then groaned like Clint did, also hitting his head on the table for yet again saying his new 'catchphrase'. We all laughed at him apart from Maria who was trying not to.

"Sorry, Cap." she replied, shrugging, though she didn't seem that sorry.

"Nah, I need to get used to it." he said, sighing. It was a back-handed reply, but I knew that he was still struggling to adjust to the modern day. I did tease him, but I hoped that one day he wouldn't feel as excluded as I knew he did.

"Did people not swear in your day or something?" Sam asked, slumping in his chair and putting his feet on the table.

"They did." Steve replied as Maria pushed Sam's feet off the desk. "Just not as much." Maria wiped the desk as Sam glared at her, sitting up again in his seat.

"What was the most offensive word you've said?" I asked, daring Steve to tell us.

Steve shook his head and sighed. "We're not having this conversation." he replied, firmly, and took a sip from his drink as he tried to avoid looking at any of us.

"Is it different though? The fighting and strategy?" Clint asked, a question that took me by surprise. I thought he would goad Steve along like I did, but he just changed the conversation. "I know we have technology, but...apart from that, what's different?" he said, sounding curious. Clint didn't talk a lot with Steve, not that I knew, but Clint seemed to like him. Even though he didn't argue with Steve, sometimes he didn't see eye-to-eye with him, taking particular anger towards him during the partner change. He certainly didn't like that.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but...they had more morals." Steve replied, blushing as if he was afraid to offend someone.

"Can't argue there." Maria admitted, her head deep in some folder as she scribbled down some notes. I saw Steve briefly scan over her face for a second, a frown etching over his face for a second. I could tell from that second that he was thoroughly confused about how he felt about Maria. He never spoke about her, but it was about time for him to get into a relationship. Even though he was technically over 90-years old, he would always seem like the baby of the group to me and this baby needed to get a date...no matter how weird the sentence sounded. Perhaps Maria would be the right match...

There was just one problem...well several.

1\. She was extremely stubborn.

2\. She didn't date...anyone...even if it was a superhero.

3\. Cap was a virgin, whereas Maria had one-night stands every couple of weeks to burn off her sexual energy. I was pretty sure that Steve was a virgin and wouldn't like the fact that Maria did that. Maria and I discussed the fact that sleeping with someone every couple of weeks wasn't healthy, but she just argued back that being celibate wasn't healthy either. I didn't want to have sex with anyone, because there was never any time. Hill would usually lose it to someone in a club and make sure all the evidence was removed from the hotel room so that no one ever contacted her again.

4\. She liked being independent and bossy. No one would be able to control her.

5\. Her life was so complicated that she wouldn't be able to commit to someone before sorting her own life out. Hill had a lot of problems.

6\. Work was her life. She was ridiculously busy and wouldn't have time to commit.

7\. She didn't like the romantic gestures - hence the one-night stands.

8\. I was pretty sure Hill was incapable of love, something that I imagined Steve was a deep believer in.

9\. She was convinced that she didn't need anyone, but herself.

By the time I had listed all the points in my mind, Tony had come through the door. "Tony...you are actually early for once." Hill said at his arrival, though it didn't gauge a reaction from him. Steve snorted a laugh, but after that no sound was made as Tony came and sat down.

After Rhodey, Vision and Wanda joined us, Pietro came into the room. People only started talking again when Pietro walked in, looking much perkier than he did earlier. Surprisingly, I felt rather happy that Pietro was back on his feet, not that I had much reason to. He had fought with me in the battle, but so had many agents in the past. I had never cared a lot about their lives being saved, but I think I had a soft spot for the speedster and his sister, even though she had stolen my jacket, something that I didn't usually feel for people.

"Are you feeling okay?" Wanda asked, standing up from her seat and giving her brother a hug.

"Yeah, the doc told me to give the speed a rest of a few days." Pietro said, immediately speeding to a chair, making my hair brush up when he went past.

"Surely you should listen to your doctor's advice." Maria warned as Wanda sat down next to her brother.

He just replied with "Meh" and shrugged, which earned him a hit across the head from Wanda. Pietro smirked back at his sister and I felt glad that she hadn't lost him in the end. He would be a good asset in the field and with me and Barton getting older, we would need someone to take over the legacy one day, if it still existed.

I looked to the door as Fury strolled into the room, followed by Riley Moore. I glanced at Clint who shrugged at me, not knowing what was going on either.

"Leyley, glad you are joining us." Stark said, speaking up for the first time.

She gave him a death-glare that even I would almost be proud of. Almost. "One more nickname and I am killing everyone in this room." I raised an eyebrow at her unexpected confidence and noticed that Clint was smiling. He liked the girl already. Maybe it was because she was like me?

"Like you would be able to do that." Stark said, causing all of us to laugh. In all honesty, she wouldn't be able to. We were too strong with all of us here. Unless...unless she had a power.

"Is she here to kill us?" Sam asked as the hilarity of the situation turned into nervous laughs and worried faces.

"This is Agent Riley Moore, if you didn't already know that. I believe you were introduced earlier. She is a field agent, but also works as a doctor and medical examiner, which is why she was assigned to Mr. Maximoff after his 'death'. I want her to be part of your team." Fury introduced. _Wow, we are just adding to the youth pile here._ I felt like I was almost being shown the door to my retirement. Very encouraging.

"Okay, what's your strongest asset?" Steve asked with a welcoming smile on his face.

The doctor looked anything but happy as she turned to Fury and asked "Are you sure about this?" I could tell from her posture, facial expression and general apprehensive nature that she was worried about what we thought of her. She reeked of anxiety and it made me uncomfortable.

"Just show them what you can do." I could almost see her wince at the harshness of Fury's tone. I had gotten used to it over the years, finding him imposing in the first week before not feeling threatened by him at all.

"Please, please don't freak out." I hadn't seen a person so confident, yet so worried about someone's opinion. She was like a teenager trapped in an adult's body. It needed to stop and I planned to speak to her at some point about it if she was to join the team. There were anxious people in the world, but there weren't anxious Avengers. She would never be one with all that anxiety.

I certainly didn't expect o see what her power really was. "Woooooaaaahhhh..." Rhodey whispered and I looked at Clint, his jaw slack and eyes wide at the use of her powers.

 **Ooooo, what might her powers be! Aha! Can't wait to update the next one.**


	5. The New Girl

**Hello fellow readers and Clintasha lovers! THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING! If I get no reviews on several chapters in a row then I might stop posting this because I've only had 5 so far, but I really don't want to do that, because I love this story. So PLEASE REVIEW!**

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 **Previously:**

 **"Just show them what you can do." I could almost see her wince at the harshness of Fury's tone. I had gotten used to it over the years, finding him imposing in the first week before not feeling threatened by him at all.**

 **"Please, please don't freak out." I hadn't seen a person so confident, yet so worried about someone's opinion. She was like a teenager trapped in an adult's body. It needed to stop and I planned to speak to her at some point about it if she was to join the team. There were anxious people in the world, but there weren't anxious Avengers. She would never be one with all that anxiety.**

 **I certainly didn't expect o see what her power really was. "Woooooaaaahhhh..." Rhodey whispered and I looked at Clint, his jaw slack and eyes wide at the use of her powers.**

"Invisibility? That is the coolest power ever." Pietro said and the girl started to blush, pulling the sleeves of her jumper over her hands.

"Thank you." she replied and smiled. I almost grimaced at her insecurity, but stopped myself., but I could see how nervous she was around us.

The meeting was boring me, my mind more focused on the guilt I felt for betraying Bruce. How could I have been so stupid? I knew it made him stay for a while at least, but it was cruel of me. Finding out that she had invisibility only made Rogers doubt how much Fury told us, which wasn't a lot anyway, and that she was rescued ten years ago by S.H.I.E.L.D. I remember seeing her face once or twice, but never bothered talking to her.

"She's trained?" Wanda asked, the question drawing my attention. I wondered that also.

"Not completely. She needs help with sharpening her skills and we want to extend her powers if we can." _That's probably gonna be Steve's job then._

"You do?" she asked, sounding surprised at the information. She was so innocent and it kind of felt wrong to have her on the team. She seemed too pure, much like Wanda.

"Yes. We believe that your powers could be stretched more than they already are, making team members and objects invisible." Expanding the team would make us stronger and prepared for more threats. She had better be able to keep up with all of us. I would make sure she would keep up to the standard of an Avenger. There were no slackers on this team.

"When is training going to start?" Rhodey asked.

"For the new Avengers, that's Vision, Wanda, Pietro, James, Sam and Riley, it will be at 11 o'clock in the Avengers training room. Romanoff and Rogers will be taking the session. Original Avengers, you will not have any training until next week. Here are your files." he said, handing them out to the newbies. "Your names have been given to you as requested. Pietro will be known as Quicksilver in the field. We considered the name when you joined us as a suggestion and we thought it was appropriate."

"I wonder why…" Tony joked, raising a laugh out of everyone. They discussed something, perhaps her superhero name while I daydreamed. I didn't usually lose track of my head in meetings, but the battle had just finished and it was all I could think about. I could've persuaded Bruce to stay longer, but I didn't manage it. Was I losing myself and getting sloppy? I needed to train myself harder and focus on what mattered - missions. Earlier I thought that Clint was what I needed. Perhaps I was wrong.

I quickly glanced over at him and saw his face lift up into a smile as he laughed at something funny that the others had said. He was familiar, comforting, and it made me sad that over the past seven years I had become quite dependent on him. Switching my eyes to focus on the table, I decided that it would be impossible to detach from him. It would be better for the both of us, but it would be too difficult. We had been partners for too long to forget about it.

Hill stood up and it drew my attention away from my thoughts. "I shall take you to your temporary living quarters." she said formally and we got out of our chairs. I winced as I did, the injury in my back from Bruce playing with my pain sensors. Me and Clint ended up at the back of the line to leave the room.

As Hill took us to our new rooms, I decided to ask Clint about the new girl, knowing that we couldn't keep up the silence we had between us for too long. "Do you know her at all?" I asked, glancing up at him curiously. He nodded and looked forward at the girl in question. We were right at the very back and she was at the very front talking with Hill and Rogers who didn't seem to be enjoying their conversation actually, Steve looking bright red. Bless him...

"I've led her in a few missions I think, one being a year ago and then another maybe six months ago?" he said sceptically, pouting slightly as he thought. I never noticed this about Clint, but he had a slight swagger when he walked. I pursed my lips as I tried not to laugh at the realisation.

"She any good?" I asked, pushing open a door that led us through yet another corridor. This place was such a maze, but my memory allowed myself to remember every section.I didn't necessarily like having that kind of memory. It meant that every torture session I endured was fresh in my mind if I thought about it, every memory of men touching me so clear that it was almost as if they were doing it themselves.

I didn't necessarily like having that kind of memory. It meant that every torture session I endured was fresh in my mind if I thought about it, every memory of men touching me so clear that it was almost as if they were doing it to me in that moment. I unnoticeably winced as I tried to think about the good things my memory brought, like when me, Hill, Coulson and Clint played poker or when Clint and I were in mid-battle and made sarcastic comments to each other about the other's bad fighting even though we were performing equally well. We always did.

"Great, brilliant in fact. Excellent at undercover work and trained at quite a high level despite what Fury said. Obviously, not your standard of training, but close-ish to Hill's." I wondered whether he'd said the end part to made me not feel jealous of the girl, not that I was. Her fighting level was way below mine and I had nothing to be jealous of. She had much to learn.

"Good." I replied as Hill began to speak again.

"Now, this is brand new, so no messing it up. Clint, Tony Sam - I'm talking to you three." Clint's mouth dropped in fake-hurt.

"Whaaaaat?" Tony said, throwing his hands in the air, seeming shocked by Hill's judgement.

"You can't trust us?" Sam asked, sounding like he couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth.

"Like we would ever damage anything..." Clint asked, putting his hand to his heart and turned to me, his face seeming to say ' _Can you believe this treatment?'_. I gave him an unbelieving look as I thought back to many memories of him damaging S.H.I.E.L.D equipment or furniture, mostly with his arrows. A small smirk played at the side of his lips and I couldn't stop a smirk rising on my face, not being able to stop myself. His smile seemed sneaky and I suddenly felt like a teenager, like I was meant to suddenly hit him and say 'You're it!'. He made me feel so childish sometimes. The thing about that was that my childhood didn't include tag or kiss chase...just torture.

The memories begrudgingly forced the smile away from my face and I looked back at Hill, wanting to seem professional and not signal to him that a bad memory had formed in my mind. "Your fingerprints have all been added to the system." she explained, placing her finger on the scanner, an unlocking sound coming from the door. "Only you guys, Fury and me can open this door." We were only in the helicarrier and it sounded like we were already at the tower. I guess we needed the precautions. If the ship was free to roam, any Sokovian could wander up and try to kill us.

We entered a very expensive looking room. There were four large sofas facing each other in a square around the coffee table, dim lights coming from the walls and large lamps that I could tell had motion sensors. The whole left-hand side was purely windows showing us the cloudy view outside. As she brought us through the living space, I noticed that it was similar to Stark Tower's layout. The kitchen table was marble and every surface was clear. Maybe it looked like Stark Tower before we all had breakfast. Thor was a very messy person.

She brought us through to the bedroom areas and I smirked at the symbols on the doors, each one relating to our superhero symbol. "Meet in about 15 minutes in the living room." Hill told us and left.

"If my room isn't the biggest, I'm contacting Fury." Stark said as he scanned his finger and pushed his door open. I rolled my eyes and walked down the corridor with Clint to find our rooms.

Mine and Clint's were at the end of the corridor - a black spider and red background for me and a black 'H' with a purple background for Clint. I scanned my finger and entered my room, seeing that the colour scheme was to my liking. Red and black were my two favourite colours and I'm very glad no one argued with me when deciding what colours my symbol would be.

There was a large black circular table in the centre with some elegant chairs surrounding it. I turned a corner and saw the bed, black sheets with red pillows and a black bedside table next to it. There was a balcony outside with two chairs, much like sun loungers, that I guessed were screwed into the floor as they would've blown away at this altitude.

I sat on my bed and stared at the black wall ahead of me, wondering what to do next. I had fifteen minutes. I noticed a mac computer lying on top of the table near the balcony. I went over and sat down, opening the macbook and typing in what I had been meaning to search for in a while.

 _'Sokovia battle'_

Hundreds of news articles popped up on the screen, most stating the damages of what had happened. I didn't even want to go near the images button, but it was tempting. I opened one of the articles.

 _'EVEN for superpowers, the use of force has unintended consequences. Over the past two decades, America has learned this the hard way. Its military interventions in Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya have caused devastating collateral damage. Worse, America often finds itself fighting enemies radicalised or empowered by the blowback from its own interventions. As a result, in recent years it has tried to adopt a less "kinetic" foreign policy, focused on defending a rule-bound international order._

 _The Avengers, a superhero organisation, have encountered many of the same problems. Tony Stark, the billionaire military industrialist and inventor also known as Iron Man, attempted to create an automated international peacekeeping system. His well-meaning efforts led to the horrifying destruction of the Sokovian capital, Novi_ Grad, _after the device generated an artificial intelligence bent on wiping out the human race. The extent of the damages to the city are unknown, but the death count is currently at 103.'_

I stopped reading and moved on. There was a news article from Christine Everhart. I didn't go near it as I knew she would be 100% discussing the threat we pose. Stupid bitch. There were plenty more.

 _'_ _Superheroes, like most elites, are instinctively hostile to regulation, and Mr Rogers' leeriness is exacerbated by his deep-rooted cultural nationalism. It is hardly surprising that a superhero named Captain America would be allergic to what George Washington called "foreign entanglements". Moreover, Mr Rogers has a point when he argues that the UN is a politicised body that may bicker over granting permission to intervene until it is too late. Rivalry between UN members has paralysed the international community during bloody crises from Bosnia to Syria.'_

And more...

 _'The question, however, is whether superheroes or superpowers do better without such constraints. In fact, they do worse. As America learned in Iraq, and as Mr Stark learned in Sokovia, people without procedural oversight are apt to be led disastrously astray by their own biases. Mr Rogers' mistrust of institutions, like that of the leaders who launched the Iraq war, is linked to a hubristic faith in his own moral righteousness: he believes that the world is divided into good guys and bad guys, and that he knows who is who. In real life, nothing is so simple. No one ever has perfect information, different people may have legitimate but conflicting claims to justice, and no one's motives are entirely transparent, even to themselves.'_

Poor Steve. He was getting a lot of hate for this. I can't imagine the pressure he's under. Hopefully he wasn't researching all of this stuff too. Saying that, I knew that he would look at it over the next few days.

 _'As Captain America should know, this recognition lies at the heart of his country's political philosophy: to paraphrase Madison, "If superheroes were angels, no government would be necessary." The Avengers are no angels.'_

I got up from my desk and hit the laptop down on the desk. Did they not already know this? We knew we weren't 'angels'. I certainly knew I wasn't. If anyone on the team was an angel, it would be Rogers. He didn't need this shit coming from the media. It was outrageous. I wondered whether Hill could do anything about it, but I doubted that she would be able to stop the media publishing such things. It was all over the news. I slowly leant down on the bed, ensuring that I wouldn't cause more injury to my back, and stared up at the black ceiling, sighing at the fact that Rogers was being treated so rudely. He had saved us multiple times and was the purest one out of us all. He couldn't have done more to save Sokovia, but I could've. I could've tried harder, pushed myself harder to get more people out.

I shook my head, knowing that blaming myself wasn't going to get me anyway. I immediately scolded myself for doing so, feeling a shooting pain go down my spine. "For fucks sake..." I muttered and carefully pushed myself up to stand.

Looking over at the clock on the bedside table, I noticed that it had already been ten minutes. I went over to the chest of drawers near my bed and picked out a jumper from one of the bottom drawers, almost smiling when I noticed the S.H.I.E.L.D logo imprinted on the side of it. I walked over to the mirror and pulled up my top, turning around a little to see the damage that the Hulk had made. I grimaced at the large bruise that had formed on my lower back. I hesitated to lift the top up any further, not wanting to know how far up it went, and decided to put my jumper on, hoping that no one would notice the slight limp I had in my walk.

I walked out the door and made my way towards the living room, noticing Sam pushing open the living room door. I would've shouted to wait for me, but I didn't trust myself to run right now. I slowly walked down the corridor as an announcement came over the speakers. 'All Avengers meet in the living room for debrief.'

I smiled when I heard JARVIS. I actually missed him. It was rather odd to miss a voice of a person that didn't exist, but I hadn't heard it in a while. Seeing and talking to Vision wasn't really the same. JARVIS seemed to be everywhere, so it wasn't a surprise that Fury used him as well.

I entered and noticed most people were already there, Pietro, Riley, and Steve being the only ones absent. Clint noticed me and automatically moved up a little on the sofa to allow me to sit next to him. I smiled and sat down, leaning against the cushions and almost sighing in relief. I didn't want to admit how tiring that short walk had been. It took me less than a minute, but my back was really painful. _A good night's sleep should sort it out._

Everyone seemed to be talking amongst themselves asd Pietro entered, Riley following behind him a few seconds later. She was scared, I could tell, either of us or about talking to us about her past, what this meeting was called to discuss. Steve came in 15 seconds late and seemed to be a little anxious. Perhaps he had researched the battle after all...

"Everyone settle down please." Hill said and everyone quietened. "We are here to talk about Miss Moore's history, so if you could show her some respect as she talks with you." I liked Hill. She was one of my closest friends, not that I had many friends anyway. Hill, Clint and Coulson were the closest people I had to me.

"I err..." I rolled my eyes, hoping that this girl would get on with what she was going to say. I didn't like time wasters. "I don't really..know where to start..." she said, rubbing her hands together. I did feel bad for her - she was talking with Avengers for goodness sakes, but right now all I wanted to do was go to bed and relax for a while.

"How about your childhood? What was it like?" Hill asked, clipboard and pen in hand to make notes with. Undoubtedly, JARVIS would be recording the conversation for Fury, but the director usually liked having a physical copy as well as an electronic one. Being sat at a desk typing up injury reports while your broken arm was mending was NOT FUN!

"My childhood. Okay...well my parents were called Patrick and Elisa Nicholls. my name was Charlie Rose Nicholls back then. They gave birth to me in a hospital in Manhattan and I grew up in a small school there. I went onto college and university and after that…well there wasn't anything after that…not in education anyway…" Looking at this girl, I noticed she was a lot like me when she was younger. I was scared, felt defenceless and thought that my life would be perfect. Like that was ever going to happen. My education wasn't like a normal school's education unless I was wrong and P.E lessons only taught ballet and French classes were actually lessons in seduction. What I would've given to have a normal education...I wouldn't take it back now though otherwise, I wouldn't be an Avenger.

"What happened?" Vision asked. I found it odd that his mechanical voice sounded concerned.

"You always hear about those missing people that are never found and everyone thinks it's one big mystery, but it's not. It's a tragedy. I was kidnapped by someone on my way to university. They put me in the boot and drove me to the base. When I came to consciousness I was in chains." I could see she was trying not to cry, much like some other people in the room. I felt myself actually getting a little angry that these people had kidnapped someone so innocent. She didn't deserve that. She was a nervous woman and not made to become an assassin like me. I had the ability to cope. I looked over at Clint and saw a sad frown pulling at his face. I turned back and kept listening to her.

"They injected me with serums of all different varieties and my body went through so much pain that at one poin…." she trailed off, but took a breath and continued. Good girl. I was happy she had the strength to talk. "At one point, I felt like giving up. Just finding a way to end my life before the serum's did." I felt my face drop, knowing the feeling that she was talking about. I remember one day continuously hitting my head against the cold steel bars of my cell when I first became a member of the KGB and they had to put material around them to stop me from killing myself as well as give me a constant guard, one that liked to play around with me sometimes. I shivered at the thought and focused on what she was saying.

"But I was determined that I would make it through. I would scream for days, because the serum felt like it was burning through my blood. Finally, one of the serum's worked. It felt weird. I went through these stages of fading from invisible to visible and I didn't know how to control it. They would try and teach me, but then torture me if I didn't learn fast enough. I got to grips with the powers, but once I did my facility was broken into by S.H.I.E.L.D. They rescued me and tried to get all the information out of them that I could, but I didn't know what the base's organisation was until later, when I discovered that it was HYDRA. Fury told me to keep my power a secret, as the world wasn't ready for me to come out as a enhanced yet. I became a working S.H.I.E.L.D office and field agent. He wiped all my records, change my backstory and moved on with my life as Riley Moore." _She's like me..._ I thought to myself as I stared at the shy girl. Her story was so much like mine it was almost as if I was looking at a younger version of myself, just more fragile.

Someone spoke up, someone that I didn't expect to - Tony. "We are here if you need us and if you need any counselling or whatever to get over it, then I will pay whatever you need."

"No, I can't allow you do th-" she protested, but it was no use. Tony was annoying, but he could be a stubborn son of a bitch. Once he had his mind set on something, he couldn't get it off. Pepper was the only person who could do anything about that and I had no idea how. Pepper was brilliant.

"I said that we are here for you…" he said. "Well, they are all here for you and then I'm the financial backing for everything." I rolled my eyes and tried not to scoff. A stubborn, arrogant idiot.

Does anybody else have any questions for Miss Moore?" Maria asked, bringing the subject back. No one said anything. "If that's finished then I will leave you in her company." Hill said and stood, turning to face Riley. "Fury has decided that you will pose as my assistant to maintain your cover as long as possible, meaning that you can hang around with us in public, but not look suspicious."

Riley nodded and Hill smiled softly at her before turning towards the door, most likely to do some more work. "Maria?" Steve asked and I tensed. She did not like being called Maria by people that didn't know her that much.

"Yes?" she said, sounding bored of Rogers already.

"We're watching a movie." he said, gesturing to the screen in the living room. I looked at Clint and sighed, catching his attention. _'Movie night?'_ I mouthed, almost glaring at him.

He put his hands up and shrugged as if to say _'Don't blame me!'_ I almost growled and leant back on the sofa. All I wanted to do was go to bed and sleep. I never wanted that, but I did right now. Was that too much to ask? My muscles felt like they were dying!

"I know." Hill replied and I almost laughed at Rogers. Poor kid, hoping that Maria was going to watch a movie with us. She was a work-a-holic and didn't tend to do movie nights, unless me, Clint and Coulson practically blackmailed her into it.

"Do you want to watch it with us?" he asked and I noticed Clint looked at me with a sniggering smile on his face. I smirked at him and turned back to the scene at hand. I didn't realise until now that Steve might have a crush on Hill, but I couldn't see why he wouldn't have a crush on her. She was an absolute knock-out and apparently spectacular in bed.

"I can't. I need to go over the mission files from Sokovia before I sleep. It'll take half an hour and by that time you'll already have started the film, so it's fine." she said, robotically. She seriously needed to relax.

"Well, why don't we help you quickly now and then you can watch it with us?" Steve asked and she smiled slightly at his gentlemanliness, probably feeling sorry for him.

Tony scoffed and shook his head. "That sounds like too much effort." For once, I actually agreed with Stark. I was comfortable on the sofa and if I had to sit and watch a stupid movie for some stupid Avengers bonding time, then I wanted to move as little as possible.

"Well, I'll go then." Steve volunteered. ' _He's keen'_ I thought in my head, not wanting to get shot at by Maria for speaking up.

"No, I couldn't poss-"

"I must insist. It's unfair for you to miss out." Steve said and started walking before she could stop him. She looked at him like he was insane for a few seconds before her face relaxed to neutral. She opened her mouth, close to speaking up to him, but shut her mouth and sighed as he was nearing the door already.

"We'll be back in 15 minutes." she said and quickly left the room to catch up with Steve.

"They seemed to be getting along swell." Tony said, trying to imitating Rogers at the end of his sentence, and I tried not to snigger.

 **I know this may seem like a cut off ending, but I ended up writing 6,300 words for this chapter originally, so i decided to split it up a little and save you some for the next posting. Also, it means the next chapter will be out quicker as I have already written part of it. I did check this over, but please point out any mistakes!**

 **Remember to check out the other stories on my page if you want to look at the same story, but with different ships - CaptainHill and Pietro/OC as well as a completely separate story about Wanda and Bucky that seems popular. Try them out! :)**

 **Leave a review if you please :) It would help me get better and post quicker! Thanks so much!**


	6. Movie Night

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 **Previously:**

 **"I must insist. It's unfair for you to miss out." Steve said and started walking before she could stop him. She looked at him like he was insane for a few seconds before her face relaxed to neutral. She opened her mouth, close to speaking up to him, but shut her mouth and sighed as he was nearing the door already.**

 **"We'll be back in 15 minutes." she said and quickly left the room to catch up with Steve.**

 **"They seemed to be getting along swell," Tony said, trying to imitating Rogers at the end of his sentence, and I tried not to snigger.**

"They will be together eventually," Wanda answered, almost knowingly. I wondered for a second whether she could see into the future or not. Would that even be a good thing?

Stark ended up cooking pizzas which were heavenly. I gave Clint my best helpless face and he shook his head, standing up to get slices of pizza for me and him. Banter was thrown around the room for a while until Tony asked a sensible question for once in his life.

"So Miss Moore, did you have any plans before coming here?" he asked. I looked at Clint who was shoving pizza into his mouth. I crinkled my nose slightly at his disgusting way of eating and he just laughed at me. I smiled as I thought of his dog, Lucky. Clint called him the 'pizza dog' as he would often like to eat pizza with Clint. I think it was just an excuse for the archer to get takeaway pizzas all the time.

"Well I wanted to continue being a better-qualified agent and then become a trainer I guess. I didn't really have a plan beyond that," she answered and started to eat her own slice of pizza in a much more elegant way than Clint.

"I don't think anybody does when you work for an organisation like this. No future plans." Clint said, picking up his coke and taking a sip.

"Well, I thought of a better life. Kids, marriage," James began to list create a list and as soon as I heard the word 'kids' the words automatically left my lips.

"Love is for children," Natasha said. I stopped myself from frowning as I thought over the words. It was like a motto for me, the words automatically pouring from my lips. It was like an immediate reaction.

"You're very opinionated, Miss Romanoff," Stark said, taking a sip of his drink and swishing his head to look at me. I rolled my eyes. _So dramatic._

"Are you in love with Pepper?" I asked and Tony suddenly looked flustered. I smiled, liking it when I could push Tony into a corner. Manipulating him for fun was a favourite hobby of mine.

"I er….I do love her...I mean..." he replied, stumbling over his words as he tried to find what to say.

"You know that wasn't the question," Clint taunted with a smirk. "Come on Tone, you've been with her for over 6 years. Just tell her once in awhile."

"She'll be here in five minutes actually, so we are not talking about this for long. I do love her, but…I've never…" He coughed and stood up. "D'you know what, forget it. I'm getting some alcohol." I rolled my eyes and thought to Stark five months ago with his head in the toilet, saying he would never touch alcohol again. We went out to one of his clubs the next night. Rhodey stood up and stopped him, forcing him back into his chair. Tony looked like a told off child who wasn't allowed his favourite treats. "How are you even meant to know? The difference between being in love and just loving someone." He groaned, running his hands over his face as he sat back down leant his head back.

"Do you care about her more than _anyone_?" Clint said, dramatically, placing a hand over his heart.

Stark glared at him and said "Obviously."

Rhodey spoke up. "I've seen him put himself in danger for her too many times. I'm surprised he isn't dead already." I heard the lift 'ding' and suddenly an elegant looking Pepper Pots entered. She was wearing a blue silk dress with a low back and small silver earrings in her ears. Her make-up was light, so it didn't make her look fake, and her hair was in a loose bun, slightly messy and wet from the rain outside. She was wearing flat shoes that still made her look tall. That was one of the problems with being a tall woman - you couldn't really wear heels without looking like a giant. I didn't have that problem being just about 5 foot. Reaching tall cupboards were a problem, but I had Clint for that, much like Tony had Pepper.

"So sorry I'm late." she apologised. "I had to get a plane over here, but I didn't have any time to cha-" she said, walking down the stairs to us, but stopped talking when she realised that everyone was looking at her. "What?" she asked, giving everyone confused looks. Tony stood up and walked over to her slowly. It was odd to see him react like this around her. Usually, he would just say hi and kiss her like always. "What's happened?" she asked worriedly. I almost laughed at them.

"Nothing," he said and pressed a light slow kiss on her lips. It looked so intimate and I couldn't stop myself from staring at them. I had never been kissed because someone was genuinely interested in me. Yes, there were people who were interested in my body, in having sex with me, but no one had ever interested in me. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to be looked at in the way Tony looked at Pepper. I don't think I would be able to handle it. I shook my head softly - I didn't want that kind of life. "Nothing's wrong. You look beautiful. I'll go and get you some more comfortable clothes, okay?" He kissed her cheek and left to get some for her.

She walked over to us, slightly confused, and asked: "Has something happened?"

"I think he's just realised how lucky he is to have you," Clint said and sipped his beer. I looked at him and wanted to say you don't realise how lucky I feel to have you, but I immediately stopped myself. Clint wasn't mine. I didn't want him to be mine...

"Tony? Lucky to have me? Pl-ease!" she said, slipping off her shoes, and introduced herself to Riley. JARVIS informed us that Steve and Hill had made a stop on their way, God knows what it was, as Tony came back in the room, giving Pepper a kiss on the cheek and handing her new clothes.

Once she walked out to change, Riley turned to Pepper. "Are you guys usually that way?"

"You just made me think about her is all," he replied, sitting back down on the sofa, seeming more distracted than usual. It was so unlike him to be this way and I didn't like it. As much as I hated to say it, I preferred arrogant Tony. "She deserves more than she gets."

"I'm sure she appreciates what you do for her," Wanda said and Tony looked at her curiously, snapping out of his distant gaze.

"Did you read her mind?" he asked, looking a little angry at the powered individual.

"Nothing bad," she said, shrugging, and sipped her coke. Her eyes looked around at the group and her bite her lip. "Sometimes I can't help it and it just happens."

"Can you find out what people think of all of us and then tell us, please? Because I would love to know what the new assistant Hill has in the building thinks of me." Sam said, acting smug and smiling, causing Riley to look at him with a confused face. She was meant to be Hill's new 'assistant', but Sam was talking about Hill's real assistant.

"There's a new girl working for Hill. Arrived a few days ago. Name's...uh...Ella?" Tony guessed, frowning in through as he thought of the name.

"Elisa." Falcon corrected, picking up another piece of pizza to eat and shoving it into his mouth. Delightful.

"And will I meet her?" she asked, excitedly. How did this girl have that much energy? Then again, she hadn't finished battling an army of robots.

"You should be meeting her tomorrow when we land at the new tower," Rhodey replied.

"Back to my original question...Wanda?" Sam asked, sounding hopeful.

"You know I can't do that Sam. Powers can't be used in that way," she said, smiling to herself. The witch probably felt powerful with her abilities. I felt it when she took over my mind and it made me nervous how vulnerable she could make any of us feel. I don't know what she did to Steve, but something seemed different about him, and it wasn't just the fact that he'd fought Ultron.

"God darn it," Sam said, hitting his leg with his palm. "Wish they could be."

"Yeah, that would be extremely helpful," Clint commented, casually, sinking into the couch. I tried not to think too much about his comment as the others debated movie choices, but couldn't help casually looking over at him. Clint was one of the most relaxed people I had ever met, even his position radiated that. He was slumped against the sofa, not caring about what people thought of him, and it was one of the reasons why we were friends. He grounded me somehow, made me feel a little more normal and relaxed me when I needed it.

"So, movie choices?" Pietro asked and the voices began to cross over each other and merge.

"We are not watching The Noteb-."

"Saw!"

"Do you guys remember Ha-"

"Not horror"

"How abou-"

"Bourne Legacy"

"West Side Story?"

"What about-"

"NO MUSICALS"

"Pirates of the-"

"What about Forget M-"

"This is painful," I muttered and sank down into my sofa, rolling my eyes at everyone's mundane behaviour, but the arguing continued until Tony shouted out for San Andreas to be the movie. Everyone seemed to agree.

"Yes! Bit depressing, but still a good film!" Clint shouted, almost deafening me. I glared at him and he smiled in apology, holding a piece of pizza up to make me forgive him. I took the pizza and bit into it, almost moaning over how good it felt. Man, the pizza was good. I felt like I was turning into Clint due to all the pizza I was eating. He and I ended up sitting on the floor in the end, in front of Wanda, Pietro and Riley who were on the coach behind us.

Clint and I were casually sitting cross-legged, side by side, watching the movie play out. However, after the first fifteen minutes, my back began to hurt. I rolled my shoulders slightly, hoping that the pain would subside, but it didn't. I tensed my abs, hoping that would do the trick, but no. _Great._

It was sudden, but I almost felt Clint's hand inch towards my back. He tentatively placed his hand on the bottom of my back and soothingly rubbed it and down the bottom of my spine, not in the view of anyone else, obviously noticing the way I felt discomfort. Riley, Pietro and Wanda, who were sitting behind us, were too engrossed in their conversation to pay any attention to us and everybody else was watching the film being shown.

It felt nice, comforting even. I wanted to curl into a little ball and fall asleep with him. His rough fingertips were surprisingly smooth against my skin, stroking me like I was a fragile piece of glass. I focused on the screen, trying to resist resting my head against Clint's shoulder because it seemed very tempting to do so. Clint has this warm feeling about him that made me want to stay in his company. Other people had said the same so I knew I wasn't alone with that thought.

As the movie went on, I found myself feeling more and more tired. Clint's hand had continued to stroke me throughout the film, something that soothed me to sleep a little more. He was so gentle sometimes, but I knew he could easily go from that to an evil assassin - we both could. I managed to stop myself from falling asleep on his shoulder, only just being able to keep my eyes open.

The lights came on as the movie ended and I wanted to scream at JARVIS for making the room so bright, but I felt so drained of energy. It was rare that I felt so weak, but I was in need of some sleep to recover.

"Right team, I don't know about you, but I'm off to bed," Clint sighed, pushing himself up to a stand. He held his hand out as if it were second nature to help me and I took it, allowing myself to be slowly pulled up by my partner.

"Couldn't agree more, bird boy," Pietro said, slapping Clint on the shoulder and zooming off with his sister in his arms. Clint and I slowly let go of each other's hands as Clint smirked at the exit that Pietro shot out of.

"Well, there goes that quick bastard." I playfully nudged his side and walked towards the corridor that led to our bedrooms. The others followed me, knowing that JARVIS would automatically clean up the mess we had made. "Wish I could run at the speed of light," Clint grumbled and I resisted rolling my eyes at him, however, I did agree with him. Super speed would be an amazing ability to possess, but I don't think I would be able to withstand another torture similar to the Red Room. Not again.

"Are you well, Mr. Barton? You are being awfully negative." Vision said, gliding alongside us with his cape elegantly waving around his legs. Clint rolled his eyes and started complaining again. Surprisingly, it didn't annoy me that much. It used to, especially when I just joined S.H.I.E.L.D and Clint was the only person I was allowed to talk to. It was hell having to speak to him every day, but, then again, I probably wouldn't have become Natasha Romanoff if he didn't. I found his ramblings and complaints sort of sweet because I knew he was joking, even if they did bug me a little.

"Just tired Vision. It's been a long week." He groaned, rubbing a hand down his face. It was odd that his face looked so old, yet so young at the same time. His face looked young, but his eyes were always tired and looked older than his age. I stopped myself from laughing when he spoke.

"I hate to break it to you Clint, but it's only Wednesday," I replied, smiling at him and tapping his shoulder lightly. He glared and flicked my hand off of him, but I could still see a smile playing on his lips. We had an odd relationship.

"I suggest we get a long sleep if we don't want to end up killing each other tomorrow." Sam joked, opening the door to his bedroom.

"I think there's been enough of that for one day," Clint muttered as him and we arrived at our doors. I stopped down, bringing my hand away from the door for a second, and turned to him, noting that his voice was a little too serious.

"Clint..." I began, but he didn't even turn round to look at me.

"I'll talk tomorrow Tash." That was the last I heard from him before his door quickly shut and I was left alone outside his room. I opened my door and sighed, pressing my back against the back of it. It seemed to be the only stable thing in that moment.

I pushed myself off the door and slowly unclothed myself, taking care not to tear my stitches. I decided not to push my luck and went to bed in my underwear instead of changing into a top, knowing that I got into trouble last time and needed to ask Clint. He obviously needed some time to himself for a while and I would give it to him. I understood more than most the need to have time alone.

I climbed into the pristine S.H.I.E.L.D sheets and stared up at the ceiling, deeply feeling the pain in my side. I was too stubborn for painkillers. Hill and I had this coping mechanism after missions where we wouldn't use any form of painkiller or numbing gel unless it was serious. This allowed us to properly feel our mistakes that we made in battle. It worked for us. However, it made sleeping a pain in the ass. I shut my eyes and tried to not get affected by the whistling noises from the outside of the jet.

 _I could feel the metallic taste of blood pour into my mouth as I pushed my hands against the concrete floor, trying to keep some dignity by keeping my face off the floor._

 _"Again." He was one of the worst punishers in the facility. I had heard that people called him 'Seb', but you could never be sure of names in this place._

 _"Disrespect will be punished." I repeated back in Russian for the third time as I climbed to my feet. There was no chance that I would even try to fight him as I knew other people would come and punish me too. I hadn't been in the red room for long, but I had come to admire the people I worked for, the soldier being the most admirable of all, not that I even dared to talk to him. I had seen him in action however. Even though I admired them, I still hated them all._

 _Another punch sent me flying to the floor and my body didn't react in time, my face landing flat on the floor and my arms scraping against the concrete. I hadn't even done that much wrong, only looked at one of my trainers for too long. I coughed up some blood and tried to stop myself from throwing up, the pain making me want to pass out. My head was throbbing and parts of my body were begging me to scream out in pain. I wouldn't give the trainer that satisfaction._

 _"You gonna misbehave again, Bitch?" He asked in Russian, spitting in my face. I blinked and glared up at him, which I should've known was a bad idea. But I was feeling rebellious, a feeling that immediately faded when I saw his face turn into a smirk. "You wanna play, little ballerina?" He grabbed my hair and I let out a small yelp of pain as he dragged me towards the door. I knew where we were going._

 _He threw me through the door and I landed face down on the bed. I felt shivers run through me, knowing what he was going to do. "Let's play," he growled, slamming the door shut. I knew how I would most likely to be tortured with their most powerful weapons if I disobeyed them and I had pushed the trainer far enough._

 _I shut my eyes as I felt his disgusting, filthy hands start to take off my clothes._

I screamed as I sat up in my bed, immediately pushing myself out of the sheets, not wanting to be on a bed right now. I scrambled to the wall and breathed in deeply, not wanting to start a panic attack.

I winced, feeling that the stitches in my side had torn slightly. I looked down, noticing the blood that was on my side. There wasn't much, but it would still need restitching.

I groaned and pushed myself up to a stand, pushing my hand against the wound. I walked into the bathroom and appreciate the fact that JARVIS put dimmed lights on in there rather than bright ones.

I sighed as I grabbed the first aid box that was placed on the top of a cabinet and sat down on the side of the bath. I got out the needle and thread and quickly sewed myself back together, gritting my teeth and swearing in Russian as I did.

When I was done, I sterilised the needle and put the equipment back in the first aid box, placing it back on the top of the cabinet where I found it. I cleaned the side of the bath off with some toilet paper and went back to the bedroom.

"Shit." I muttered, noticing the blood that had pooled on my sheets, a small stain being smeared across it from when I had moved so fast. I groaned and just flipped the duvet back to its original positioning, not wanting to deal with the mess. I would sort it out in the morning.

I looked over at the clock and realised that it already was morning - 3:37 to be precise. I went back into the bathroom, checking that everything was tidied up. Satisfied, I turned to back towards the door only to notice silk robe that had the words 'Black Widow' sewn over the back of it.

I got a medical pad from the first aid kit and placed it over my wound, firmly pressing the tape over my skin to stop the blood going anywhere if I ripped my skin again. I took the robe off its hooked and smiled at the feeling of silk when I wrapped it around my body. There weren't many things that made me happy with life, but silk robes were another addition to the list.

I glanced at myself in the mirror and noticed that my cheeks were still red, my heart recovering from the nightmare still. I had them most nights, not being able to keep my mind from slipping back to that dark time in the life. Wanda hadn't helped. Usually, I wouldn't scream, but I couldn't help it with the bad ones.

My eyes left the mirror when I heard someone knocking. I made sure my robe was tightened and made my way over, picking up my gun on the way. The knocking was coming from the door that joined mine and Clint's rooms together. It was most likely Clint, but I was still going to take precautions.

I unlocked the door and pushed it open, quickly holding my gun up to face anything that would attack me. Luckily, I was confronted with Clint with his hair messed up, shirtless and a gun in his hand too, slightly lower than mine. He immediately threw it aside when he was sure it was me, but I kept mine in my hand.

"I've already set up the sofa," he said, voice raspy from sleep. I looked over his shoulder to see his sofa covered in a blanket and a pillow placed at the arm rest. I looked back at him.

"Okay." I said and slipped past him, keeping my gun with me. I slipped it underneath the sofa pillow and pulled the blanket back, being aware to watch my wound. I saw Clint watching me in my periforal vision and knew he was watching me cautiously. "Stop staring, I've already cleaned it up," I said, both of us knowing that I was referring to the wound he was stressed about.

"Okay," he replied and got into his own bed. I was happy about where his sofa was placed. I could see the door and Clint in his bed. If I crooned my neck properly, I would be able to see his window. Being able to see all the entrances and exits calmed me.

"I'm not going to sleep you know." I told him, staring up at his purple ceiling. I don't know why I liked Clint's favourite colour being purple, I just did. Maybe it was because it was dark enough to be dangerous, but not too dark, like black. Tony's red and gold colour theme could go and fuck itself.

"I know," he replied sleepily and within about four minutes the archer was already lightly snoring. I listened to him sleeping for hours and hours until sunlight began to come through the windows and Clint woke up. I spent the hours occupying my time by just staring at the ceiling and thinking about life - Wanda's mind control, Pietro coming back to life, the new recruit, Vision and the power of the mind stone, Clint and how I ended up sleeping on his couch. It was boring, but I wanted to rest, even if it wasn't my eyes.

"Tash?" He called out quietly. I wasn't surprised by his voice as I knew Clint's waking up pattern. He would roll over a little, groan and then slowly open his eyes. I remember that from when he captured me and I analysed how he slept each night just in case I needed to kill him.

"Yeah?" I asked, my bones feeling tired as I sat up on the couch for the first time in three hours.

"What time is it?" he asked, groggily. I looked over at the desk and saw the analog clock ticking away.

"5:15," I replied and stood up, knowing that he would want to get up now too.

He groaned as he pushed himself out of bed and I took a second to look at him. His front was littered with little scars, old and new, as well as a few large scars that stretched across his back. I narrowed my eyes slightly, remembering when he told me that his father had abused him. I wanted to track that bastard down so badly. "How is your stomach?"

"Haven't checked on it yet, but I'll probably do that when we land." I said and he groaned, pushing himself off the bed to go and find a shirt.

"Why do the past few days feel like they've dragged on for years?" He asked, his muscles flexing slightly as he pulled the shirt over his head. I quickly averted my eyes and turned my back to him slightly, not wanting him to feel that his space was invaded.

"Why does our partnership feel like it's dragged on for centuries?" I retorted and he shook his head. Clint and I had been partners for the past sixteen years and, in all honesty, it did feel like centuries.

"Is that a compliment or an insult?" He narrowed his eyes in speculation and I just shrugged, a smirk now etching its way onto my face.

"Take it as you will," I replied simply and went to leave the room.

"Meet me in here when you're ready and we can go spar for a bit?" He asked and I nodded before going back to my room to shower and change.

 **Hope you liked this new chapter. Even though it is exam season, I made sure to do a chapter for you. I'm going to try and get one done on each of my stories for my exams, take a break in June and then come back in July. Thank you for following and favouriting this story. Please point out any mistakes I have made. Thank you :)**

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	7. Small Touches Can Mean A Lot

**Message to everyone:**

 **Thank you sooooo much for putting up with my gaps between posting. I've been posting around once every week and a half for my four stories, so I think I'm doing okay considering my first exam was this Wednesday. :) Anyway, THANK YOU and I hope you enjoy the chapter. There is a poll on my profile for Riley's hero name if you want to check it out and VOTE!**

 **Response to reviews:**

 **Chescacat - Thank you so much for reviewing :) Glad you liked it**

 **ClintandNatasha - Yeah, but a slow build makes it worthwhile in the end ;) Yeah, I think they have a cute father and son relationship, much like Clint and Wanda have a father and daughter relationship in the movies.**

"You're being all weird will her."

"I am not being all weird with her."

"You're being all weird with her and you know it," Clint said, finishing tightening the wraps around his wrists.

The newbie, Riley, was boxing across the room from us, looking quite skilled in the art. I didn't trust her, but I knew she was skilled at her job. It didn't mean I had to like her.

"You could try and be a little more warming?" He suggested. I just gave him a blank stare and he put up his hands in defeat. "My bad!" I shoved him playfully onto the mats and he laughed. "Playing rough today, Widow?"

"I don't need to play rough to beat you," I told him with a smirk. He shook his head as he walked over to the side of the mats, clenching and unclenching his fists as he prepared himself.

"You're going down, Widow." He settled into a ready stance and I went to my place across the mat, my hands in fists protecting my face.

"You're going down, Hawk." He smiled and then we began our fight. We ran towards each other and as soon as he was close enough, I swung my leg out to knock Clint off his feet.

He jumped, immediately aiming a punch for the left side of my face. I ducked and attempted to kick Clint in the face, but he quickly caught my foot before it could make an impact. He pulled my legs towards him, making me have to hop in order not to break a bone.

He grabbed my shoulders and tried to get me on the ground, but I resisted and managed to escape his hold. He was strong, but I was quick and could sneak out of or into places easily. He came at me, throwing three fists in a row, all of which i avoided, before I charged against him, wrapping my arms around his stomach as I tried to get him down. I swung my legs round, causing him to fall backwards as I acted like a barrel for him to fall over.

He was down and I was immediately straddling him, quickly trying to grab his arms before he could attack back. Unfortunately for me, he did. He grabbed my waist and chucked me off of him, sending me flying across the mats. Anyone would've thought Clint had super strength from the muscles he had. Obviously, he was no Captain America, but he was very toned. I grunted and pushed myself upwards, Clint also managing to get back on his feet.

"Still confident you're gonna win?" he asked, a smug smile tugging at his lips. I rolled my eyes and went back into action, throwing punches at his face this time, managing to hit him with one of my two. It was strong, but not strong enough to seriously hurt him. He scowled at me and swept my legs from under me, but I quickly put my hand on the floor and pushed myself up.

We carried on sparring for about twenty more minutes until I winced when Clint slammed me to the floor, his body weight pressing down on my wound. Hissing from the pain, Clint immediately took his body weight off of my, coming to the side of me and placing his hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" He asked worriedly and I nodded, sitting up.

"Stop fussing, I'm fine." I said, hoping that he wouldn't worry about me so much. "It's just my stitching."

"Can I check?" Clint always asked before doing anything. He was sweet like that. Because he knew my history, he knew that I was wary about people touching me.

I nodded and leant on my elbows as he went to my side to check the stitches. "Doesn't seem bad." He slowly put his hands on my skin and I appreciated that he took his time with me. His fingers were soft and didn't hurt me at all as he smoothed over my skin, checking for damage. He touched the cut ever so softly and it only twinged. "A little blood, but not much apart from that. I'll get another bandage."

"Thanks." I said as I watched Clint walk over to the medical kit. I looked over at Riley who was thankfully too focused on her boxing to notice my moment of weakness. I needed to show my strength, not be pathetic because of an injury.

My attention was drawn as Clint walked back to me, bandage in hand. It didn't take long to undo the current bandage and replace it with a new one. He was careful though, his skilled hands managing not to cause me much pain. He clipped it up and pulled me to a stand, not that I needed assistance.

The next thing he did surprised me. He brought his hand up and slowly took a slither of hair that was resting on my cheek that had fallen out of my ponytail during the fight. "You feeling okay now?" He asked softly as he tucked the hair behind my ear, his soft fingertips stroking it briefly before his hand came down to rest by his side again.

"Fine," I said, feeling like I was frozen. The weird thing was...I didn't hate it. It was odd, but I didn't dislike it.

He smiled sweetly and looked behind me at Riley who I nearly forgot about being in the room. I stepped away from him, suddenly wanting as much distance away from him as I could get. What was going on with me?

Clint picked up his water bottle that was placed at the side of the mats and shouted at Riley from across the room. "Hey!" The girl clinched slightly before bringing her hands to her side.

"Hey." She replied, stepping away from the punchbag to face us. She had a good physique, strong build with defined muscles. She had a good start at becoming an Avenger. Wanda had less muscle, which put her at a disadvantage.

"We are going to breakfast. Do you want to come?" I saw Clint look back and smile, realising that I wasn't going to try and be a mean bitch to her. I wanted to at least be decent with her.

She smirked and looked us both up and down. "Are you guys showering first or are we going to show up all sweaty and disgusting?" Hmmm, she seemed nice. Not too innocent though. She reminded me a little of Stark which was good and bad depending on which was you looked at it.

"No one gives a shit around here," Clint replied, throwing his water bottle between his hands. "We show up at breakfast like this all the time." He looked at me and scowled playfully. "Well, I do. You hardly break a sweat," he added to which I just smirked and cross my arms across my chest.

"You've got a serum in you, right?" That was what really caught my attention. The smile I had was no completely wiped off my face. Was she here to spy on us? I trusted Fury but only to a certain extent. He brought her in here to 'improve the team'. I didn't see the harm in telling her what the public and Fury already knew. I felt Clint tense up next to me, his body image changing to stiff rather than his relaxed self. Clint was very defensive over me and my abilities. Many people had tried to exploit me for it and I felt Clint feel a little more hostile towards her now she had mentioned that. I wasn't his property and he wasn't my carer, but it felt like that sometimes.

"Yeah, Rogers isn't the only super soldier around here. though, people don't tend to call me a super soldier. Anyway, breakfast?" I asked, hoping to steer away from the line of iterrogation. I wasn't much of a super soldier anyway, not nearly as powerful as Rogers, but not nearly as weak as a human. I felt Clint's tense demeanour slip away into a more relaxed posture, glad that he wasn't too upset about Riley's comment.

"Sure," she replied simply and walked over to come with us. I turned to Clint who still had a concerned look on his face. As soon as I met his eyes, I reached up and ruffled his hair slightly. A small smile came onto his face at that and he shook his head, laughing slightly to himself.

"Do you know how many times we've asked fury to recruit you?" Clint asked after we excited the gym and started walking towards the kitchen. The interior of the building was plain, bland, and it always made me forget that we were still flying. It felt like we were taking years to reach our destination in New York.

"We?" she asked as Clint opened one of the doors for us to walk through in the corridor.

"Me and Nat." I didn't argue with his statement. I'd said to Fury she was a good fighter a couple of times, but never pushed the boat out like Clint was implying. Clint had always said she was a good fighter, but he had worked with her more personally than I had. If he trusted her, then I did too, but I was unsure whether he 100% did. "Told Fury that we could make a good agent out of you with your skill set, a proper agent."

"Are S.H.I.E.L.D agents not proper agents to you, Barton?" she asked, raising an eyebrow that made me smile a little. She was funny, I'd give her that. Her and Stark would get on like a house on fire. That could be bad or good depending on whether you are the owner of the house or not.

"Well," he said, shrugging. "You've gotta start somewhere." We entered the kitchen and it was quite a scene. Wanda was at the stove, cooking something, Pietro was sitting on a stool at the end of the table and Rhodey, Steve and Sam were sitting on proper chairs around the marble table, eating poached eggs on toast. I felt sick looking at the food. In the Red Room, we were conditioned not to eat much. Food was a reward. I never really thought about food the same way after that.

"I've made some eggs if you would like some?" Wanda said, smiling at us all with a frying pan in her hand. She was so innocent.

"I would love some, Scarlet," Clint replied, hopping onto a stool beside Pietro. I didn't feel like sitting down and opted to lean against the fridge, watching the mundane scene unfold before me. That's what it was...mundane. If a photo of us would taken, it would look like a bunch of friends on a field trip somewhere staying in an airbnb, not a room full of killers. Well, I was the main killer anyway. The others did have blood on their hands, red in their ledgers, but not as much as me.

"Scarlet? I thought your name was Wanda?" Riley asked, taking a seat beside Clint. I watched her very carefully.

"Scarlet Witch is her Avengers title, remember? Speaking of, we still need one of you," Sam reminded us, turning to Riley. I zoned out for a few seconds as I stared at the food that was being passed around. I knew that I needed to eat, it was a process of living, but part of me just wanted to never eat another bite of food again. It made me feel so sick. A panicked voice took me out of my daydream.

"What if they hate me?" Riley was panicking, looking like she was about the have a panic attack.

"Who? The public?" Sam asked. She stepped off of the stool with clumsiness and started to pace back and forth, her shoulders rapidly moving up and down.

"Yeah, what happens if they hate me an-and they-" I could tell she was finding it hard to breathe and was about to tell her to calm down when a rush of wind blew past my face followed by a blue trail of energy seeping towards the ground.

Pietro had taken Riley aside, his fingers resting over her forearms as she told her not to panic. "Everything is going to be fine. You're with the Avengers now, that's a status symbol enough. Me, Wanda, Sam, Rhodey, Vision - we all have to go through the same thing as you do. We will be accepted, don't worry. They'll love you. I have no doubt about it." She had gotten to Pietro. She had definitely gotten to Pietro. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was enchanted by the woman, already being so fearful for her safety after only meeting yesterday. I sensed it from when they first met when Pietro woke up. It was bad news in my books. "Are you okay?"

He pulled his arms away as she nodded. "Hungry." she replied and the others laughed. I didn't. I didn't know what to think of her. She was a mystery, a mystery that I would have to go digging for answers about.

"Good." he replied and sped back to his seat, something that she scolded him for as he wasn't supposed to be doing that. I noticed someone's eyes watching me and immediately looked at Clint, knowing it would be him.

He mouthed to me: 'Are you okay?' I nodded and gave a small smile to assure him that I was. He nodded hesitantly and then turned back to the table. I hated how he worried. It set me on edge. I zoned out again, trying not to focus on food but failing. I just didn't feel hungry. _Come on, Romanoff. There's nothing wrong with you._ I went over to where the bread was stored and picked out a single slice, putting it on a plate that I got from the cupboard.

"We should be arriving in half an hour." Steve said, allowing me to turn away from the plate of food I had and focus on him. "You can have a little time to settle in and such, your bags should already be in your rooms when you arrive. Our arrival time will be about 7:30am. If everyone's comfortable with it, we would really like to start training as soon as possible. Is that alright?" Nobody objected, not that they would protest again mighty Captain America's plans. "Good. hill should be there to tell you where each place is, but you can have a look round yourselves if you want. I haven't even had the change to go around yet, but apparently, there are people in reception that have offered to take us on tours, so you should be able to find people there."

"There's staff already there?" Sam asked, scraping his scraps away into the bin. I was excited to get to the new place. The remote location meant more peace to my ears. I didn't really like the city, it was too much noise for me.

"They have been there for about a week now to make sure that everything is up and running. Everything in the rooms is clean and apparently Pepper has picked out some clothes that she thought would suit you all." I really hoped that she didn't buy me anything pink. Pepper knows that I hate pink. She wouldn't dare...

"Isn't she here?" Wanda asked, gesturing to the helicarrier around us. Pepper was one person that I actually felt like I could trust, nearly at the same level as Clint anyway.

"She wakes up very early for...yoga, I think?" Steve speculated, looking to me for answers. I nodded. Pepper loves her yoga. I had done it with her once, but soon got restless and realised that yoga is definitely not my thing.

"That woman is crazy with everything she manages to fit in with her life." Clint said, getting another coffee from the machine. Clint was obsessed with coffee. Lucky, his dog, and coffee were his two favourite things.

"And she has to look after Tony," Sam joked, but it was true. Pepper had so much shit to cope with. She had one of the hardest jobs in the world. No wonder she needed yoga.

"So, settle in at 7:30, training at mid-day, small party at 8pm." Steve didn't sound very happy when saying the last part.

"Tony?' Rhodes asked and Roger's pursed his lips in annoyance.

"Who else?" he sighed, reaching over to grab an apple from the fruit bowl in the centre of the table. "I'll see you at the bay in half an hour. Pack up and get ready to board to your new home." He took a bite out of the apple and exited the room. Home. I tossed the word around in my brain for a few seconds. Home was somewhere that I felt comfortable or in my case someone. I looked at the back of Clint's head, the man in question completely oblivious to my gaze. Was it bad for me to be so dependent on one person? Probably. Clint was my home though. Wherever he went, I went. Wherever he goes, I go. It was always like that and I hoped that it always would be. Not having Clint in my life would tear a whole in my heart, something that I didn't want to and would never admit to anyone. Clint meant a lot more to me than I realised and I shook my head at that stupid thought. I couldn't be this dependent on him. It was bad. I couldn't have him, not in the ways that I wanted. I shook my head again. I didn't want _that_ anyway. It was stupid and...childish.

Most of the people were gone once my head finished it's miniature rant. I was passing Riley on the way to the exit and stopped, turning to her. "Are you scared?" I asked, hoping that she would give an honest opinion in return.

"A little bit, but I'm surrounded by superheroes, so i believe I have the right to be." I smirked at her response. She had spunk and a spine, but wasn't afraid to admit to how she felt. I was growing to trust her, but something was still off about her.

"You do, indeed." I replied and swiftly exited the room. Before I did, I smirked at her, making sure that I kept eye contact with her long enough to see a flicker of fear spark in her eyes. I needed to make sure that she did fear me in order for me to trust her. A requirement, I guess. I heard Clint follow me as I left the room.

"That was a bit..." I gave him a side glance as we walked back to our rooms. "Unnecessary," he said, but I guessed that he was putting it mildly.

I shrugged and replied "I don't trust her." I slowed for a second and made eye contact with him, looking at him inquisitively. "Do you?"

He pursed his lips in thought for a second as we continued walking down the corridor. "Maybe...more than you do, I bet." I nodded because he probably did.

"Meet you out here at twenty past?" He asked. I nodded and entered my room, immediately shutting the door. That was a bit rude...I just needed to shower.

I was glad that Clint understood me, understood my problems. I don't know why he put up with me all these years. He was so kind and I didn't deserve a friend like him. We weren't really friends, we were more than that. Not a brother sister relationship, but we were close. Very close. We practically knew everything about each other. Knowing that he knew so much made me feel a little vulnerable, like he would stab me in the back some day, but I could trust him. Part of me just wanted to curl up in a little ball and have him hold me, but the other part just wanted to stay in our usual routine. I sighed in my head. Why am I being so whiney?

I groaned and quickly stripped off my clothes, jumping into the shower. I was obsessed with showering, my skin usually feeling like a sticky canvas that was covered in fingerprints. Surprisingly, I didn't feel like that today. I wanted to wash because I was sweaty and because of the sparring, not because of Clint touching my skin when he was stitching me up. It was the first time that I had actually enjoyed someone's touch without feeling that I wanted to scratch at my skin. I stood in front of the mirror for a few minutes, staring at my body.

What had changed? Maybe it was everything that had happened with Banner or staying in Clint's room last night, but I felt like I just wanted to be in his presence. After pretending to date Banner like that, I had no idea what he thought of me now. Perhaps he viewed me as the little girl that he first took in, prepared to strip down and shag the target to get the information. Maybe I had become that person again... I felt the itch on my skin start to rise up and I quickly turned on the shower and got in, turning the heat up.

I showered quickly, wincing a few times when I moved too quickly and stretched the skin near my stitches. Thankfully, the waterproof bandage managed to contain the bleeding. There was something peaceful about showering. Clint always showered listening to rock and roll music, much like he did in general, but I couldn't understand why he would disrupt the peacefulness of a shower, like rain on a rooftop. It was kind of sacred to me, my one place of calm. I couldn't shower forever though... I turned off the taps and reached for a pristine white towel on one of the racks. I wrapped it round me, grabbing another smaller towel to make a turban with my hair.

In five minutes, I had dried everything and changed back into my combat suit. I could hear Clint pacing outside my door as he waited for me and I realised that it had just gone twenty past seven when I looked at the clock. I quickly dried my hair and brushed it, chucking my towels in the bath once I was done. I had packed my stuff up while I was getting dressed, which didn't take very long as I always packed light.

I picked up my bag, hooking it across my left shoulder, and went to the door. Clint gave a small smile when he saw me and since having an imaginary discussion with myself naked in the mirror, I felt like I wanted to reach out to him and be close. I gave a quick smile and turned and to the door. God, this was stupid. I'd never felt like I wanted comfort before. He was the only person whose opinion of me mattered to me. It was strange. I shut the door, with more care than I did last time, and started walking with him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, putting his hands in his pockets as he walked. I looked ahead to the end of the corridor even though I knew his eyes were on me.

"I'm fine," I replied, happy that my voice wasn't affected by the feelings I was having. I didn't want Clint, I wasn't good enough for him even if I did. Clint was a man who most likely had a secret wife that he wasn't telling me about or something. I smiled to myself. That wouldn't be true. I would've found out. He probably still saw me as the little S.H.I.E.L.D girl he brought in. My smile dropped.

"Do you want some food before we get there?" He asked, gesturing to the kitchen as we walked past. I looked behind us, frowning at the fact I didn't even realise that we'd walked through the double doors to the bedrooms.

"No, thanks." I said, continuing to walk toward the lift. Our boots were sounding across the floor in perfect sync, like they always did.

"You didn't have breakfast." I slowed for a second, our steps now out of time and gagged in an uneven beat on the floor.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, but I knew exactly what he was digging at. I pressed the lift button, the circle lighting up, and I heard him sigh.

"You didn't have breakfast this morning, you had hardly any pizza last night-"

"Just because I don't eat like a pig, Barton," I joked, the elevator doors opening for us. We stepped in and he shook his head in a way that hinted he wasn't amused, maybe disappointed. It seemed like disappointment to me anyway.

"I'm serious, Nat." I felt like a school child being told off by the headmaster. "You can't go without eating like you were when i first got you and I've noticed you doing it for a while, not just the past day. Meals are smaller for you."

"I really don't want to talk about this right no-"

"Well, we're going to," he said with a firm tone, looking straight ahead at the elevator wall. He bit his lip and turned to me, a worried look cast across his face. I felt bad for making him so scared for me because I didn't deserve it. He switched his gaze to the ground and frowned. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so harsh." He looked up to meet my eyes again. "You know that I'm here if you need me," he said carefully touching his fingers against my own. It wasn't like he was holding my hand, but it was sweeter that he wasn't. It was something to show that he was there for me if I needed him.

His fingers were softly stroking mine and I refused to meet his eyes as did so. "Can we talk about it later?" I asked, my voice sounding painfully quiet and shy. I hated how I sounded when I was vulnerable.

I followed his left hand as it moved away from my fingers and rose up to stroke my cheek with his thumb, the calloused texture surprisingly being smooth. I saw his baby blues eyes stare straight into mine and noticed a small smile rise on his face. "It's okay."

The elevator dinged suddenly and he brought his hands down to his side as the elevator doors opened, making sure that no one saw the moment between us that felt a little too intimate to me. We walked out together, entering the exit hangar that most of the Avengers were gathered in. I couldn't stop thinking about that moment though.

He treated me like I was a delicate object, but I also knew he had a very high opinion of me, viewing me as a warrior rather than someone who was suited to working behind a desk. He was much stronger than me, mentally and physically, and I admired him much. The few times he had touched me during the morning had been so warm and comforting that I didn't want to break from them. _Maybe I was becoming weak..._

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 **Please point out any mistakes as I don't really have time to re-read. Haha! :P**


	8. Moving In

**Hey, I don't really know whether to continue with this story or not, because it's not getting that many reviews these days. PLEASE TELL ME WHETHER THIS IS GOOD OR NOT! Thank you! Otherwise, I'm thinking about stopping writing this whilst I finish the other stories.**

"Dibs on the biggest room," Stark called as he charged past the whole group out of the helicarrier doors. I rolled my eyes as we all stood, following after Stark as he left.

"He's such a moron," Riley muttered, walking out of the helicarrier with Pietro and Wanda on either side.

"Tony couldn't care less," I replied, sighing as I moved a little closer to Clint as we walked. We brushed shoulders and I smiled slightly at the contact. Clint made me feel incredibly safe.

"Yes, I could," Tony shouted from where he was ahead of us all. _How did he even hear from that far away?_ I thought as I scowled at the man, half in annoyance, half in curiosity.

"I hate that man intensely." I huffed, the steps of my walk hitting the ground a little more harshly than before.

"I can imagine you hate a lot of things, Romanoff," Rhodey said with a laugh. I admired James. He had trained hard for his role as a commander.

"Flowers, stupid giggles, people named Clint...16th Century French poetry, ducks, wet hair and having to wake up and participate in real life just to name a few," I said off the top of my head as we entered the facility.

"Eyes were on us as we walked in, but Clint and I were completely used to it by now and breezed by the attention. Clint was a show off, but not for the cameras, and I was only used to publicity as I was a bit of a troublemaker.

Once we'd taken the elevator ride to our floor, Maria gave us the tour. The living room consisted of four large sofas, six chairs and a large white coffee table. Maria pushed a button and the sofas turned to make two rows as a large screen came up for the coffee table, creating a private cinema for us. I didn't need to turn to Clint to see the excited look in his eyes, but I did regardless. I liked seeing him happy.

He gave me a shocked look as if to say 'how can you not be as excited as I am right now?' I rolled my eyes at his childish behaviour and listened to Hill.

"I'll leave you to explore the place yourselves, but our bedrooms are down this corridor. The kitchen can be stocked with whatever foo you want most likely within the hour, you can just ask JARVIS. For directions to place that you want to go, like the weapons room, sparring or training rooms and other places around the tower, you can look at the map on the back of your door or, again, just ask JARVIS. Any questions?"

Maria smiled at the fact that no one answered. As she gestured towards the bedrooms, ready to show us where we would be sleeping, the door opened behind us, a woman walking through that I immediately recognised.

"Elisa," I greeted with a smile as she walked over to us.

She smiled in return, happiness gleaming in her eyes as she replied; "Hey Natasha." She was sporting a high ponytail, highlighting her makeup free face. She was always a natural beauty. Her eyes turned to the others and smiled. "It's nice to meet you all."

"I'll let you introduce yourself, Agent," Hill said and Elisa nodded, turning to face us all.

"My name is Agent Elisa Tannen. I'll be Agent Hill's assistant for the foreseeable future, helping you with at problems you have. Any queries, complaints, appointments you need to arrange, social media questions, etc, need to be addressed by me first. I used to be a S.H.I.E.L.D agent and fought during the battle against HYDRA in DC, so I've had plenty of experience. I'm here for you whether you need someone to talk through your problems with or someone to spar with, anything really. I'll be staying in the same quarters as you, like Maria, so hopefully I'll be friends with some of you. Also, my office is next to Hill's if you need anything."

Hill then took us through to our rooms, explaining to the newbies that they would be bunking with their new partners. "Sharing?" Riley asked, turning around the Hill with raised eyebrows.

"Is that a problem?" Hill asked with an expectant tone, folding her arms across her as she narrowed her eyes a little at the girl.

Riley quickly shook her head and I heard Pietro mutter "Looks like you're stuck with me, shorty."

"I'll see you at all at 10 sharp," Hill said, looking specifically at Stark when she said 'sharp'. "Unpack your belongings, if you need anything then tell JARVIS and see you in an hour and a bit,"

Clint and I walked to the end of the corridor where a room on the right had a symbol that I definitely recognised. It was a red and black classic Black Widow symbol with a dark purple arrow shooting straight down the centre. On either side of the symbol were the words 'Hawkeye and Widow'.

"I guess it looks like everyone is sharing, "he said as he pressed his finger against the scanner. As he entered, I took a second to look at the other doors. Apart from the newbies, everyone else had rooms of their own. I looked down to the end of the corridor to see if I could talk with Hill about it, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"You coming in?" I turned my head to Clint who was standing with the door open, kindly waiting for me to enter like the gentleman he was.

I nodded and entered the apartment, blinking from how open and bright the place was. Like our rooms at the New York facility, the surfaces were slick, but the place had a homely feel to it.

Clint wandered off and I went towards one of the shelves above the television. There were some pictures on the shelves of Clint and I and of the whole team. I walked up to it and took off a photo of Pepper, Maria and I. We were at the Avengers conference, a event where the world gets an insight into what we are planning as well as a bit of gossip, questions that the public want to find out about us.

I smiled at the memory of us in front of the photographers, not looking at the cameras at all as we all laughed with each other. I couldn't remember what exactly were laughing about, but I remember it being a fun night.

I placed the photograph back on the shelf and turned my attention back to the rest of the room. There was a large sofa, huge television and a few leather chairs that looked like I would be able to sink into. I noticed two chairs on the balcony that overlooked the trees and training grounds outside.

"Woah," I heard Clint gasp from across the room. Not drawing his eyes away from the room, he beckoned me over. I peeked inside the rather dark room, that had a black and purple colour theme and smiled.

"Now that's more like it." It wasn't that I didn't like the living room, but a whole room dedicated to weaponry. Yes please.

I walked over to the note that was pinned to the wall removing the knife that stuck it there.

 **Enjoy! ;)**

 **M xx**

"Hill?" Clint asked as he walked over and I nodded, passing him the note as I placed the blade back on the empty slot it came from.

"Would you like a refreshment from the kitchen, honey?" Clint asked mockingly as he began to leave. Something fluttered in my chest at the nickname, but I promptly ignored it, opting to glare at him instead.

"Call me honey again and I'll use these knives to slice you into little pieces and feed you to Lucky."

He gasped in shock and took a step back with a hand on his chest in horror. "You wouldn't dare..."

I raised an eyebrow as if to say 'You wanna bet?' and smirked, crossing my arms across my chest. I liked mine and Clint's banterful relationship. Anyone else wouldn't get me, but he did. Something about our connection made me feel like no one would ever understand me like he did.

"Sometimes I wish you were a nicer person," he said, snapping me out of my thoughts. He walked away with his hands held up, physically pleading his innocence.

"Sometimes I do too, but then I laugh and continue my day," I replied with a cynical smile, walking past him to explore the rest of the apartment. He scoffed and went to explore more of the apartment.

The kitchen was small, but neat. Hill gave the impression that she wanted us all to eat in the communal kitchen area. I could see 'Clint's cookie jar' in the corner and smirked at the details Maria had made for us. She was a good friend.

I went back into the living room and saw two doors next to each other at the side of the living room. one had a rough purple stripe going down a small section of the centre of the door and the other was the same, but with a red stripe. Did Maria want to be any more obvious with the colour schemes?

I could hear Clint rustling around in his room and decided to enter mine. I smiled at the room layout, glad that Maria knew I liked my room uncluttered and simple with only a few personal touches.

I stood in the centre of the room and took everything in. To my left was a desk, in front of me was a balcony, on my right, a double bed, and a private bathroom behind me.

On the desk was a photo of Clint, Coulson and I a few months before he died. I knew he came back to life, but that didn't lessen the impact of his death.

The bed looked luscious and expensive, something that I knew I would feel guilty about when I slept in it later. The bed sheets and pillows were white with two smaller red cushions in front of the pillows.

I walked over to the bedside table and noticed a photo frame of Clint and I. It was one that I hadn't even seen before, but looked like it would be one used by reports to stir up trouble.

We were at the Avengers tower on one of the sofas. It must have been a movie night. Clint's arm was behind me and my head was titled as it rested against his, both of us staring at each other. The photo jolted my memory and it reminded me of that night.

 _We were watching a classic - Shawshank Redemption. The suicide scene had just finished and everyone was watching normally as the next scene played out. I looked around, thinking if I was the only person who had felt that way about myself, the way Brooke's did. Going so far as to kill yourself._

 _I would never want any of the team to feel that desperate, that helpless, as to go that far. Especially not Clint. I looked down at the ground, thinking about how miserable I would feel without him, how worthless my life would be._

 _I suddenly felt something touch my cheek, flinching and nearly moving away until I realised that it was Clint. I kept my gaze low as his thumb brushed my cheek, feeling the wetness of my tears against his skin, something that surprised me and most likely him as I rarely cried. Black Widow never cried, butt Natasha Romanoff did on occasion._

 _He wiped away the few tears I shed and then put his hand on my shoulder, stroking the exposed skin there. "Memories making you upset?" he asked in a hushed tone to ensure that no one would hear him._

 _I shuffled a little closer, putting my lips near his ear to whisper "Yes and no."_

 _I moved back, but allowed us to remain close. I breathed in deeply, observing his confused facial expression. His arm was now outstretched on the back of the sofa like an open invitation for me to snuggle up to. "Why yes and no?"_

 _My eyes remained on the couch, finding a new found interest in the red stain on it. I sighed and brought my knees up to my chest, squeezing them tightly before I mustered up the courage to answer. I leaned close to his ear again, my eyes still diverted, and whispered "I don't want any of the people on this tea to feel the way that I did, I don't want to lose anyone,"_

 _Hating the way I sounded so fragile and weak, I moved my head away and put my face into the crook of his elbow, almost burying myself into it. I hated feeling shy. More importantly, I hated feeling shy around Clint. I didn't want to lose the people closest to me. Pushing them away seemed pointless to me._

 _"Hey." Clint gently grasped my chin between his thumb and forefinger and lifted my head to look at him, still allowing my head to rest on his arm. I looked into his eyes seeing how he cared so deeply for something. For me? "I'm never going to leave you,"_

 _For us. He cared deeply for us. His passion did scare me slightly, but made me feel comforted and safe more than anything. He brought his hand away from my chin, but still kept my gaze captive._

 _He smiled sweetly at me and I tensed my stomach to stop it feeling like it was going to explode. I gave a small smile to him as we stared at each other._

 _A loud noise from the television was a welcome distraction from Clint. My head remained leaning against his arm as I scanned the room worried that someone had seen our intimate exchange. Jane and Thor seemed to have been whispering sweet nothings to each other, Maria and Pepper seemed to be too interested in their phones, Bruce was already asleep and everyone else was watching the movie._

"Maria..." I whispered, looking at the photograph angle and realising it was taken from where she was sitting. "You sneaky little bitch," I sneered, half of me joking and half of me annoyed she kept the photo from me.

"Are you talking about yourself?" I quickly put the photo face down as I turned around to see Clint in the doorway with a smirk on his face. The photo almost felt too intimate, even for him to see, and he was part of it. He frowned slightly, his curiosity obviously peaking as to what it was, but I walked away from it to distract him.

"There's only one sneaky bitch in this town and that's Steve Rogers," I said, passing him with a smile and patting his chest as I headed towards the bags to take his mind off the photo. I got our luggage from next to the front door and handed Clint his.

"Thanks," he said, taking his bag from my hand before he went into his room.

Whilst I was packing, Clint poked his head around my door. I smiled briefly at him before finishing hanging up another item of clothing. "Everything alright?" I asked, turning around to him with a hand on my hip.

I saw his eyes briefly flicker over me for a moment before they settled back on my eyes again. He looked tired, but apparently he had enough energy to check me out. "I'm going to go and see Wanda, make sure that she's settling in alright."

I nodded, moving towards him. "You seem to care a lot for the twins, don't you," I said, matter-of-factly.

He did an adorable smile that suggested that he couldn't help himself. "They're like my little projects," he replied, shrugging. Clint always had passion, I knew that from the moment he had taken me into S.H.I.E.L.D. He decided not to kill me in the first place, he decided not to kill the enemy. Goodness knows how much guts that took.

Something compelled me in that moment, I didn't know what or why. I quickly reached my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug, nearly knocking him off his feet, but we managed to stay steady. I held him tightly, feeling the warm skin of his neck against mine. That heartbeat against my neck told me everything I would ever need to know. He was alive.

"What's this for?" I shut my eyes and squeezed him a little tighter. His arms were wrapped around my waist a little looser than mine were around his neck.

"Never give up your little projects," I whispered as I began to loosen my hold, realising that I was slowly choking him to death. We pulled away from each other and he nudged my chin lightly with his knuckles. He smiled, his beautiful blue eyes gazing down into mine, and I smiled back.

"Try and stop me," he said with a wink and then left, picking up his phone before he walked out the door. I stood in my doorframe for a moment, watching the front door that Clint had walked out of.

Of course, like the nice person I was, I decided to sneak around his room. "JARVIS, can you confirm Clint's location?"

I waited a moment before he responded. "He is currently waiting for Miss Maximoff to come to the door."

"Good," I replied, approaching Clint's door. I opened it and noticed that his room was a lot more personalised than mine. Little archer related trinkets were placed around the room like the arrow stickers on the walls. There were a photos on the wall of all the team and me and Clint too. I made sure not to move things around so he wouldn't know I was here.

I walked over to his dark purple drawers next to his bed and noticed the same photo that I had in my room in a frame sitting there. It was obvious that he had seen it as there was an open packet of biscuits next to it. Did he pack those in his suitcase?

The photo frame was next to his bed, he hadn't put it away like I had. He obviously didn't think it was a big deal. Perhaps I was overthinking the photograph.

I opened his draw and the only thing placed in it was a book, one that I hadn't seen before. As I opened it, I realised it was a notebook full of names. The first one on the list was Coulson and I understood that it was a list of names of the people that had been killed by him while he was under Loki's spell.

I frowned as I read on, feeling a pain in my chest at how he blamed himself. He wasn't in control of what he was doing at the time and it wasn't his fault. It was Loki's.

It gave me an idea. I was going to write him a list of people that he had saved to make him feel better and perhaps make him change his point of view. Instead of thinking anymore on it, I went into the kitchen to steal some of the biscuits from Clint's cookie jar.

After eating a few bourbons, I picked up the laptop that was perched on one of the kitchen ledges and began researching more about the battle in Sokovia.

 _The Avengers Newspaper_

Here we go...

 _What we know about Black Widow:_

 _\- Highly skilled acrobat_

 _\- Incredible markswoman_

 _\- Excellent hand to hand combatant_

 _\- Liar, but a gorgeous one_

 _The Russian beauty_

 _The Russian beauty seemed to break hearts as well as kick ass on the battlefield as videos highlight her connection with the Hulk obvious to the cameras, her being the only one able to calm him down. Was this connection true love or did the ballerina play him like one of her marks?_

 _We've studied footage from various sources and are continually amazed by this woman's fearless and extremely athletic assault on the enemy we now know as 'Ultron'_

 _Romanoff has pulled the wool over so many people's eyes, some are questioning whether we still know the whole truth about her or any of the Avengers for that matter._

Not bad. I hadn't figured out what to say to the press about Banner and I. I could say we were an item and still present a romantic attachment to him in the hope that he might see it and return to us. However, I could tell the truth to everyone and explain how it was all a mission, risking the chance of Banner returning.

I scrolled down and read about the other Avengers, the next article being about Clint.

 _What we know about Hawkeye:_

 _\- Exceptional with projectiles_

 _\- Very acrobatic_

 _\- Appears almost completely fearless, indicated by running back into the battlefield in order to save a child_

 _\- Incredible arms_

 _\- Weapon of choice isn't exactly a new technological development_

"It's state of the art," I muttered under my breath, but continued scrolling.

 _Almost immediately following the appearance of amateur footage from the Sokovian battle, social media sites were awash with praise for Clint Barton and, suspected new Avenger, Pietro Maximoff. Our number one archer heroically ran from the safety of a helicarrier to save a boy that he spotted in the rubble, risking his life more than necessary to help a citizen of Sokovia. However, with bullets heading towards him, Hawkeye turned his back in order to protect the boy, but Maximoff used his speed to save the day, using a car to shield his teammate. Subsequently, he took the full force of the bullets and bled to death._

 _Fortunately, the speedster's death was short lived and he survived the shooting, possibly joining the team and becoming one of the Avengers._

 _While Hawkeye appears to be human, we can't help but wonder about his extraordinary skills with a bow and arrow. While the weapon may seem a strange choice, the large array of arrows seems to make it a very versatile tool._

"Hey," a voice said from behind me and I snapped my head up to see Clint standing in the doorway. I hadn't even heard him come in.

"Is Wanda okay?" I asked, stealing another cookie from the jar that I had ended up placing next to me as I was looking on the internet. I saw him scowl slightly before answering me.

"Yeah, she seems to be settling in alright. Her and Vision seem to get along well," I nodded and Clint came over to look over my shoulder. "What are you looking at?"

I got up and gestured for him to sit in my place while I got a drink. "Incredible arms?" he asked with a scoff as he read it.

"Yeah, they don't know what they're talking about. You never work out," Sarcasm was one of my best traits. I smirked at him as I lifted the glass to my lips to take a sip of water and he shook his head, still scrolling through the article.

"You have a terrible sense of humour," he said, briefly looking up at me with a devilish smile.

"I was unaware you told jokes," I replied as I walked over to him. He pushed me away playfully and laughed, his scrawny, unbrushed hair moving slightly as he did. His face looked just as scrawny. He definitely needed a shave as little bits of stubble were beginning to grow on his face.

There was a knock at the door and I got up to get it. To my surprise, Sam was standing there. "Hey birdboy," I said, leaning against the door as he smiled at me.

"S'up," he replied, walking straight past me and going straight to the kitchen. "You'd better have coffee," he called.

"Would I still be here if we didn't?" I rolled my eyes at Clint's response and went to join the boys in the kitchen. "So what brings you to us?"

"Bored. Rhodey went to play with Stark," he explained with a shrug and stole one of Clint's biscuit from the jar, making the archer scowl at him.

"Good to know we're the first choice," I replied sarcastically, reaching to take another cookie, but Clint stole the jar before I got the chance.

"Just thought I'd make you feel special." Sam grinned at me, but his expression changed into something a little darker as he turned to Clint. "Reminds me, how did it go with that girl at the party before all this Ultron shit happenedl? Did you make her feel special?" he asked with a wink to which Clint shook his head. My heart jumped unexpectantly in my chest at the question and I reached for my drink to get another sip of water.

He looked a little nervous to me, his laughter seeming a forced. "She was drunk. Way too drunk, so I got her a cab to go home in," he said, his eyes flickering between me and Sam. "She said she lived around the corner and I made sure the cab knew where to take her."

Sam sighed and shook his head. "You had her in the palm of your hand! Man, she was all over you." Clint sneered slightly, miming as if he were going to be sick.

"Exactly," he replied, shuddering. He picked up one of his cookies and ate it, blissfully unaware of the relief I felt in my chest knowing that he didn't sleep with the girl. I didn't exactly know why. I had an immensely strong protective instinct when it came to Clint. Even though he didn't seem like it, Clint was fragile and I would never allow anyone or anything break him.

"Look who's picked up Cap's chivalry," Sam commented, sounding impressed, but Clint shook his head.

"Steve picked it up from me," Clint replied as he smirked at me. I rolled my eyes and turned my back to stop from letting him see the blush on my cheeks, something that I utterly despised about Clint. I despised how he make me feel weak and vulnerable. That was probably the only thing I hated about him though.

 **You have no idea how sorry I am about how late this is. I know it's been a really long time. I have to look after my mother all the time after the cancer in her brain is affecting her whole body. I should be more frequent with updates in the future. Hopefully you can all understand.**

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	9. Wondering Thoughts

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 **Rating change - I think this is going to be changed to M after this chapter. JUST WARNING YOU!**

The boys seemed to lead the conversation into one of football and I was not interested in talking about that subject. I picked up my phone and left the room, deciding that I should probably check on Rogers. Steve really hadn't been himself and the way he spoke and looked worried me. I'd never seen him look so sorrowful, so defeated. I needed to get to the route of the problem. I was good at that.

As I started walking towards his door, I saw Hill coming from the other end of the corridor with a worried expression on her face as she paced. She looked at me as we both stopped outside Steve's door. "JARVIS said he's in trouble," she said, a message saying 'OVERRIDE' coming up on the door's tablet to indicate how JARVIS had taken control over the room security.

"Shit," I whispered as we both saw the scene before us. Steve was hyperventilating with his eyes shut on the kitchen floor, his back pressed against one of the cupboards. I didn't realise his body still allowed him to have panic attacks with the serum. Then again, panic attacks was more psychological in a way. I winced at the way that he wheezed, his throat sounding hoarse and torn.

Maria delicately placed her hand on his and I watched at Steve flinched before relaxing at the sound of her voice. "Oh Steve..." Maria said, stroking his hand back and forth.

"M...Maria?" His voice sounded so quiet, unlike the super soldier that he was famed to be. Captain America was Steve Rogers and people had the tendency to forget that. With me, it was different. Black Widow and Natasha Romanoff weren't that different, but Captain America was a bigger symbol for America anyway. A lot of people hated me, whereas nearly everybody loved him.

"I'm here," she said softly to him as she hugged him, placing his head against her neck. "I'm here," she repeated, stroking her other hand up and down his back. She looked at me with a nervous expression as if to say 'help me'. I walked over and placed my hand on his arm, stroking that up and down in order to help soothe him. I didn't know if it did any good or not, but his chest seemed less jagged.

He rotated his head to the side and squinted to see me. "Heya gorgeous," I said with a small smile.

"W-what...what are you..." he said, breathlessly. I shushed me and smiled softly again, my thumb stroking over his fingers. Less talk meant more breathing and that was what Rogers needed. He needed to breathe. Each breathe he took lasted for a longer amount of time and I was relieved to see that he was finally calming down. His grip on Maria's shirt didn't cease though and I moved my head to catch her attention, slowly withdrawing my hand away from Steve.

She looked at me questioningly and I nodded my head towards the clock on Steve's wall. I could see in her eyes that she understood when she looked back down at Steve with a problem solving expression. I decided to mouth to her. 'Do you want me to lead the session?'

She smiled and nodded. 'Thank you' she mouthed back to me. There was no way that Steve or Maria would be able to take part in the training session when Steve was like this. He needed support and I knew that she would be able to give it to him. I nodded and slowly stood up, trying not to make too much noise as I moved away from the pair.

I looked back at them from the door, watching as Maria soothingly stroked Steve's hair. I actually found myself smiling at the sentimentality of the situation. Maria didn't show affection for many people, the only people I'm aware of being Coulson, Fury, Clint and I. Seemingly Steve was going to be added to the list soon.

I decided to stop by at the apartment before going back to training, knowing that I had a little bit of time before I had to see everyone. I also wanted to make sure that Clint and Sam hadn't used up all the coffee already. It was like they were addicts. I immediately went to the kitchen when I arrived and was happy to see that there was still...some coffee left. "Clint?" I called, but I didn't get a response.

"He's in the training facility, Miss," JARVIS replied and I nodded at the ceiling.

"Thank you, JARVIS." Tony certainly did one thing right when delving into the art of artificial intelligence. JARVIS was a life saver sometimes.

I walked into the training room and saw everybody patiently waiting for the session to start. Thankfully, everybody was early and I wouldn't have to explain the situation to multiple people. "Listen up!" I shouted and everybody's attention was drawn to me as I walked towards the group. "Steve and Maria have had a last minute emergency and have had to attend to that instead of training the session, so I will be taking over. Each new Avenger, pair up with an original," I said, making it clear that I wasn't going to go into the details of the 'emergency' that the pair had been called to.

I spotted Riley from across the room with no partner and immediately went to her. I wanted to figure out how she fought and whether it was anything like my training. She would be rusty, I was aware of that, but she probably hadn't done field work for quite a while so I made it a certainty not to judge her for that.

As soon as we started, I could see her mistake. She was concentrating too much, too worried about what was going to happen. The cogs whirring in her brain would definitely be her downfall. While completing a mission, a person shouldn't think. Instead, they should act.

She tried to duck, but was too distracted by her thoughts to miss the punch I aimed directly in the face. She was sent straight to the ground and I rolled my eyes as she groaned. I wasn't oblivious to the other Avengers who were looking at her with sympathy...apart from Clint and Pietro who were laughing at the poor girl. Some would say it was unfortunate to be paired with me, but no agent gets their skills by training like it's a walk in the park. It takes effort.

"Well, that was shit," I said, crossing my arms across my chest as I waited for her to get up.

She rubbed her jaw and scowled at me. "I understand that," she deadpanned, putting her hands on her hips. "Go on, what did I do wrong?" I smiled a little, happy that she was asking questions about what she did wrong rather than saying that they fight was unfair in some way for her. So many agents would say that I did something to trick them rather than admit they were shit at fighting. Idiots.

"When you spar, when you fight, you need to be completely in the zone. Letting distractions come into your head for even a second makes room for hesitation, consequently making room for mistakes. Confidence in battle is the upmost important thing, but not too much. Too much can get you killed. As you train, as you train properly with us anyway, you'll learn the right balance between both. I've seen previous footage of you and it is obvious how hesitant you are. Not personal, just speaking the truth. You need to toughen up. Don't think about what you are doing, just do it. If you are going to think about something, think about the precision of your punch and your target's weaknesses. Psyching yourself up should be done before a mission, not during."

Riley smiled and nodded, seemingly taking the advice on-board. I was beginning to like this girl. She didn't argue or make a sarcastic comment like Clint would. "Got it. Stop thinking so much," she said, rubbing my hands together to signal she was reading for another round.

Four hours later and we were all done with training. The team looked absolutely shattered by the end of it and I felt a little bit sorry for working them so hard on the first day. Then I remembered that I don't train wet wipes and smiled to myself as I watched them half limp out of the room complaining about their aches and pains. "It's almost like you enjoy seeing them tortured," Clint said from beside me as we stood there watching everybody leave.

"Don't you? We were the same all those years ago when Coulson was laughing at us after training," I reminded him, nudging his side. He shrugged and smirked at the door.

"Fair point." We walked over to where our water bottles were placed and Clint picked his up, quickly drinking some water from the bottle. He cleared his throat. "Are you going to tell me what's really going on with Steve?"

I sighed, looking at the floor as he stared at me. I lifted the water to my lips, took a few gulps as I thought of a response before I answered his question. I did consider not telling Clint, but he was my partner and I knew I could trust him. Also, he might offer a unique perspective on the situation. "Hill and I went into his room during the break and found that him on the kitchen floor, crying and having a panic attack."

"Jeez..." he whispered, frowning with concern for the soldier. Clint and Steve talked a lot, especially about the concept of family. I wasn't sure how close they were, but I was definitely sure that Clint and I were closer. Clint shook his head solemnly as he thought about the situation.

"There was a tablet chucked into the wall, pretty forcefully from what it seemed. I'm not sure why he was freaking out, but he never has panic attacks anymore, not to my knowledge. I've never seen him so vulnerable," I explained, exiting the training room with Clint.

"Poor Steve," he replied. Clint had this kindness within him that made me appreciate having him as a friend. It wasn't that he was necessarily kind to me, he was, but I appreciated his need to make people happy. He cared for anyone, everyone, and it was a trait in him that allowed him to save my life. He got me out of the hell hole I was stuck in and I knew that trying to repay him would be impossible, because he was that kind, selfless person that would protect someone from bullets as shown in Sokovia. "Are you going to check on him later? He probably wouldn't want anyone else knowing about it apart from Hill and you."

There was that kindness again, something that would always run through his veins. If he ever had children, I knew they would be golden. Then again, I would teach them how to be sneaky and bend the rules a little. "I think I will see him before the party tonight, just to check up on him." We arrived at our room as my mind drifted to a different subject. "How long until you think we'll be back in action?" I asked, opening the door to our room. Having a joint room was odd, but not unfamiliar. We had shared rooms plenty of times on missions, but now this was personal. It was real life.

I held the door open for him and saw him smile at me as he entered. It was the smallest of smiles and made my heart skip at how sweet his face looked when he did that. He was capable of utter rage sometimes and it was nice to know that I saw the more positive side of him as well. It was like the real Clint was a secret just for me and him. "Maria was telling me earlier that she's planning an 'away' trip with the new Avengers so we could be assigned something then," he replied, walking through our apartment to the kitchen where he jumped onto the dash. He was such a child. "We could always have recovery time from everything."

"If you're trying to convince me to get a therapist, it isn't going to work." I opened the fridge door and searched for something I could make dinner with.

"Like I could convince you of anything you have your mind set on," he scoffed, rolling his shoulders. "But seriously, we've been through a lot of shit and deserve some time off."

"It's always been that way," I replied with a smile. I liked the chaotic lives we led as much as I liked our chaotic partnership. It kept us on our toes. I saw the dolmio sauce in the fridge and decided to do a basic pasta with dolmio and cheese.

"Exactly, so maybe we should take a little break from that." Something sounded frustrated about his voice and I shut the fridge as I turned to face him sitting on the counter.

"But what about traini-"

"Will you please stop being irritating and get the hint that I'm asking for time off with you?" His eyes were bored rather than pleading, tired of trying to get his point across.

"You want to go on a holiday with me?" I asked, sounding more surprised than I felt. It wasn't an awfully surprising suggestion. We had been through a lot recently and having some time off might even be relaxing. Unlike how everyone else viewed me, I did like to relax now and again, to process my thoughts before getting back into action.

"Not a holiday exactly, but just to have a break from missions and hecticness. Even if it's just for a few days, even if it's here." It was then that I realised that he was the one that really needed this. Seeing Pietro die must've been a lot to take in and he was probably in shock still. To him, they were the children he never had. Clint had taken them both easily under his wings and I smiled at the thought. Being a father would come so naturally to Clint if he had children. My lips went to neutral at the thought that he might not have that.

"Okay," I agreed, plain and simple. He frowned at me in confusion.

"You will?" He was surprised. I knew he had expected some kind of argument, some form of resistance, but he needed this and I would do whatever it took to make Clint happier or more comfortable.

"Yeah." To be honest, I wouldn't mind the break. I didn't need it, but I wasn't going to complain about some time away.

"That was...easier than I thought it was going to be," he said, hopping off the counter to lean his back against it.

"I'm not the one that you'll have a hard time convincing," I reminded him, giving him the eye. He shut his eyes when he realised who I was referencing and groaned, letting his head fall back.

"Hill. She said she wanted us straight back in..." I knew that Clint wouldn't mind jumping back into field work, but a break would mean we would have some time together before we were part of a large group. Clint and I hadn't had time together for so long, the Avengers taking up most of our time. "I'll talk to her later," he muttered, his voice now with a little sadness in it at the thought we wouldn't get our break.

"I'm going to go and shower," I said, walking towards my room without sparing a glance to Clint. I could tell he was now thinking about something else as his voice sounded distracted. I picked up the fresh towels that were delicately placed on the end of my bed and headed for the shower, which would undoubtedly have new stuff for me to use as well. I was correct.

Showers always made me feel rejuvenated. I had actually noticed my need to have so many showers in the day decrease since after the battle. Usually I would find my skin itching if anyone had touched me, but that wasn't the case for today. Perhaps I was improving.

After brushing my hair, I turned on the shower and took a moment to watch it almost beautifully fall from the ceiling like it was rainwater in England, but warm. I washed my hair, feeling the drips slowly trace my face and drop from my chin. It felt blissful and therapeutic.

I sighed as I picked up the soap and started washing my body. It was nice to feel my skin refreshed, the sweat from the training session today was being washed away. Once the soap was rinsed off my body, I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower.

I only briefly looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes observing the bruises on my body. My fingers traced the bruise that was starting to form on my hip, a result from one of the better assaults from Riley. I hissed and quickly pulled my hand away from my hip, turning to the towel rail.

I put my hair into a towel turban and wrapped the bigger towel around my body, scooping up my breasts so that they felt supported. Nobody wants flat packed, uncomfortable breasts.

I walked out of the bathroom to Clint's room and stopped when I got to his open door. He was standing by his desk with his back turned to me with a file in his hand that he was flicking through. His back was bare and tense, the muscle he had built up over the years very prominent to me.

It was the first time that I had the temptation to touch his back. It sounded odd, but it was because of his haphephobia that I avoided touching his back. Watching him now made me tense my jaw and genuinely force myself to stay where I was. I felt the need to trace his soft skin with my fingertips and kiss over the scars that were there. I shook my head and cleared my throat. I didn't know where the sudden attraction to Clint had risen from...I couldn't tell whether I liked it or not.

"C-Clint," I said with a raspy voice. I coughed and got a hold of myself before he turned around. I needed to calm myself down. Now I was faced with the problem of his front. Fuck my life. It wasn't the person to find someone without abs unattractive, but I found abs so attractive on Clint because it was _Clint_ and I knew how hard he worked to get them. My eyes flickered over his amazing torso, trying not to let my eyes dip too low. I bit my lip hard enough to make myself speak again. "Just came to say the shower's free."

He was staring at me with his 'concerned face'. It amused me as it was exactly the same expression each time when he was worried. "Are you alright?" he asked, eyes flickering to my chest and then back up to my face. His eyebrows furrowed further and I realised that he had probably noticed the red on my chest that had bloomed up to my cheeks. I could feel the tightness of his jaw and the tension leaving his body, the muscles across his chest tightening.

"Yeah," I replied, voice quiet and sheepish. I almost felt ashamed to sound so vulnerable. I felt nervous, the most nervous that I had felt in a long time. I was only in a towel and him in a pair of trousers, completely naked from the waist up. I could've dropped the robe and slowly walked over to where he was, watching as his eyes admired my body like I knew they would. I could push him back tight against the table, nearly pressing my chest up against his, just to tease him a little. I bit my lip as I imagined his hands slowly tracing from my hips up to the sides of my breasts-

"Nat?" Clint reawakened me from my rather wild thoughts. He was still by the desk, leaning against his hip against it as he stared at me with concern. I gulped and focused my gaze on his eyes rather than his body, hoping that it would distract me from what was in front of me.

"Absolutely fine," I replied, keeping the smile on my face as I walked away from the door frame and into my room. I shut the door. "Fuck," I whispered, shutting my eyes and ignoring the slight tension that was pulling at my lower stomach. I groaned and walked over to my chest of drawers as I dried my body off, taking care not to stay anywhere for too long.

What was wrong with me? Why was Clint driving me so crazy now? Clint had always been attractive in my eyes, but not to this extent. I didn't understand and it frustrated the hell out of me in more ways than one. My mind was so unclear, the training from my past making my current thoughts confusing in my head. It felt so alien to feel emotions, to feel affection for people, and my heart almost felt painful in my chest. Clint meant everything to me and jeopardising our friendship for something that was so far fetched and foreign to me felt like a ridiculous thing to consider. Ruining our relationship would ruin me. It wasn't worth it.

With that thought, I decided that thinking about Clint as anything more than a friend was a pointless, stupid idea that should never be explored, not only for my sakes, but the sakes of our partnership. I took a breathe and got dressed, picking up a lacy set of underwear to get my night started. Nothing made me feel more confident than a sexy set of underwear.

I slipped on a tiny, black dress. A plunging neckline and tight wraparound middle did the trick to make my body look incredible. I wasn't being arrogant, just truthful. Being in the red room taught me how to dress myself so that I looked good, which was quite helpful for public appearances.

I went to the mirror and opted to not wear any makeup, only a light touch of lipstick. I picked up the black tube, unclipped the lip and twisted the base so that the colour came up for me to use. I applied it to my lips, making sure to get all of the corners. I rubbed them together and let them go with a satisfying pop.

My eyes then drifted to the necklace I was wearing, the one I always kept around my neck. The arrow. I took it off for public events only, not wanting anyone else to notice how personal the attachment was that I had with Clint.

Before I could consider taking it off, even for the private event, Clint was at the door."We both look great tonight," I said, looking at the suit he was wearing. I only took a second. I couldn't look for any longer.

"You know that if you said I looked great, I would say that you look great too."

"I couldn't take that chance," I said, smirking as I picked up my purse and walked past Clint. I liked the banterful talk we managed to maintain throughout our partnership. Even from the beginning when he first took me in, we always had great conversation. "Let's go and see Rogers."

I looked behind at Clint and he nodded, shutting my door as we made our way out of the apartment. "I'll wait outside until you are finished, yeah?" I nodded and listened as we walked towards Steve's room, my heels clicking against the floor.

"I honestly have no idea how you walk in those things," Clint commented as we left our room for Steve's. I frowned as I noticed Maria coming from the other side of the corridor in her outfit. She noticed Clint and I immediately. We both realised at the same time, our mouths not moving as our eyes did the work. We met in the middle, at Steve's door. His open door.

"Steve?" Maria breathed, confused at why his door was open. As she began to push the door open, JARVIS' voice sounded over the speakers.

"I must alert you that Mr. Rogers is making his way towards the roof. I am concerned about his intentions." As soon as the electronic words entered my ears, we were all sprinting for the stairs.

"Shit!" I heard Clint shout from behind me as we took to the stairs, Maria sprinting in front of me. I didn't know what to think, the only thing going through my head was the thought that I needed to get up the stairs to the roof as quickly as possible. We finally arrived, Maria stepping forward before all of us to speak.

"Steve..." she shouted, loud enough for him to hear from across the rooftop. He turned around, staring at Maria who was in front of the rest of us. His breathing was fast, evident from the movement of his chest. He was standing...on the edge. And I couldn't do anything but remain where I was, frozen to the spot.

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	10. Don't Go

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I stared ahead at the now empty rooftop as I heard the lift doors close. Steve, Maria, Sam and Tony were in there, as well as one of the Iron Man suits. Everybody else had used the stairs.

 _"Steve, what the hell are you doing?"_

Clint's voice echoed in my ears and I shut my eyes.

 _"They forget I'm human. Nothing...there's nothing here to make me happy."_

I was frozen, stuck as I watched the scene playing before me. Steve on the edge of the rooftop, his life in the balance. Clint and Maria beside me trying to calm him down.

 _"I just want to go back...to when things were normal. And there's all this pressure because everyone is hovering around me, waiting for me to do something, or say something, or flip out, or mess up, or yell, or cry some more about how upset I am for living in this time."_

My body was glued to the floor, my feet cemented into the ground.

 _"And I want to say that I'm happy to play my part, I'm happy to say the lines and do whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing if it will make everyone feel more comfortable. But I don't...I don't know how to do it anymore. I don't know how to be that person."_

I understood him. I had lost myself a long time ago to the spy I became. I wasn't Natalia or Natasha, but someone else.

 _"I don't know who this person is. I'm meant to be Steve Rogers, but he's Captain America. It doesn't...I...How did this happen? How did I end up here?_ _Why am I alone?_ _Everything I've ever cared about is gone. Ruined, dead!"_

His screams echoed in my ears and I tried to ignore the way my heart clenched at how broken he sounded.

 _"The commandos, Peggy, Bucky. Dead! They're all dead! I have never been more alone. I have nothing. No one! It's all gone!"_

I listened as the elevator made its way down to the Avengers floor. "Nat," Clint called from behind me. I flinched at the sound of his voice and for the first time in five minutes, I had moved.

 _"You're not alone," Maria told him, over and over and over again, but he was shaking his head. "_ _And we...we accept you. You think you're a failure, don't you?"_

 _"The serum worked..."_

 _"I'm not talking about the serum, I'm talking about you," she replied, her voice harsher than before, like the one you would expect from a headteacher when you had been called into their office. "I'm talking about the fact that you wake up every morning and you do good, you don't sit around wasting your life away, you help us. We'd be nothing without you."_

 _"I really need you to step away from the edge for me Steve..."_

I remembered the tears in his eyes, the quick speed that his chest rose and fell at and the shaking in his hands.

 _"Are you going to finish your life, here, falling off the edge of a building...or are you going to step off the ledge and finish it in battle, being strong and fighting for others, because that's what Steve Rogers would do. E_ _ven though you feel like this is the end, are you not still here? You are still here. With us. With me. You don't have to do this alone._ _"_

The silence had echoed across the rooftop and it felt like noise would never be made again. It made me nervous. I flinched as I remembered the way Pepper shouted.

 _"No, no, no, NO!" Pepper shouted as his body fell backwards over the edge._

I slowly turned around to see my partner standing there, a concerned look on his face as he stared at me. "Do you need anything?"

I shook my head immediately, but we both knew I was lying. I needed a shower and my partner. Nothing else. I didn't want the team, I didn't need a counsellor and I didn't see the point in sticking around. Steve had attempted to kill himself and I wasn't in the mood for being the version of Natasha Romanoff that was accepted.

He held his hand out to me, but I couldn't force myself to move from where I was. I opened my mouth to talk, but I was stuck. Dead. Steve tried to...he...I wasn't...

He walked forward and gently stroked my fingers making me gasp at how warm he was compared to the chilling air of the outdoors. He laced his hand into mine and gave me the smallest tug to get me moving.

He guided me over to the stairs and opened the door for me, stroking the back of my hand to calm me. I felt like I was in a trance, not knowing how to make a single decision. That's why I had Clint for times like this.

It happened to me very occasionally. I would go into a complete trance state, sometimes not even remembering what had happened. I would be triggered by something and feel myself seize up, so when I saw him standing on the edge of that rooftop...my mind went blank.

I had no clue about him, that was the worst. I saw how torn up he was in his apartment, but I had been too late to check on him. Too late. It was the fact he wanted to die that struck me, right to my core. How could he think he was so invaluable?

The reason why I felt so disrupted by it was that I had felt that low before, during my time in the red room and afterwards. Not anymore.

"The others will need to speak with me, but I'll come and join you in our room as soon as I can, okay?" he asked, clearing me from the smoke that was fogging around my head. I didn't realise that we had now walked all the way down the stairs and entered the living room, many of the Avengers across the room from us.

I didn't even nod as I left for our room, feeling my body sobering up from my disillusioned state.

Stupid. Stupid. I mentally scolded myself for being so blind to Steve's pain. I knew there was nothing I could've done but been there for him, but I felt like I wasn't. When we were standing on the floating rock of Sokovia, looking out at the view like no other, I didn't realise that the view he was looking at must've been similar to the one he saw before his 'death'.

The range of emotions he must've felt could've broken a normal man, the uselessness, motivation, disappointment, guilt, regret, anger, emptiness, culpability...depression.

How could I not have seen it? I was meant to notice everything around me and I couldn't see how depressed he really was. I think, even though it could be difficult for some to hear, Wanda's powers could've exacerbated the emotions he was feeling, which caused him to go to the rooftop. Thank goodness Tony's suits had stopped him from falling.

"Tasha." I flinched for the second time today, Clint's voice shocking me. I quickly snapped around and stared at him, feeling my breathing race slightly at the surprise. I didn't even hear him enter.

"Clint," I whispered. My breath hitched as he stepped closer, opening his palms upwards for me to put mine on. I hesitated for a second before I did, touching my fingertips with his ones that were marred from the years of using a bow.

My eyes looked up at him and I watched as he stared down sorrowfully at me. He wasn't being sympathetic, just kind. All the pain and misery and loneliness that Clint had been through had just made him kind.

He squeezed my palms and showed a small, noninvasive smile to me. I knew he would eventually ask, so I told him. "I rarely get scared," I said, keeping my eyes focused on one of the floor tiles to keep my eyes away from his. "When I saw Steve, my mind panicked and I couldn't move."

I sighed and shook my head, feeling my hands tremble slightly as I thought about what happened on the rooftop. _'There's nothing here to make me happy'._ "He doesn't deserve to feel that way."

"I think Wanda did something to his brain," he replied, regret in his voice. He cared dearly for the twins and it was sad to see him so sad that one of them had done wrong. He cleared his throat, stroking my wrists with his thumbs. "Steve will get better, I'm sure of it."

I nodded and bit my lip in thought. How were we going to fix our Captain? "Do you want to shower?" he asked, slipping his hands away from mine. I almost jolted when he finally pulled back, his skin no longer touching mine.

I nodded and Clint began to move, but I reached for his arm. He turned his head and frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked with confusion in his tone. He went to reach his hand out again, but I saw how he lowered it almost immediately.

"Can you sit outside while I shower? I don't want to be alone." What was wrong with me? Since when had I become so timid and feeble? I felt like I need protection, his protection. I wanted him with me, in the shower, but not for any sexual reason. I had felt like this only a few times, needing Clint's protection. I knew that I would be okay in the morning.

He looked apprehensive at answering but nodded his head. "Of course." I knew that I couldn't bulldoze him into something he didn't want to do, so I knew his reply was genuine. Nobody could coax Clint into doing something he was against, which was one of the reasons I admired him.

I walked over to the bathroom, hardly noticing that I still had my grip on Clint's forearm. I switched on the light and blinked at the brightness of it. My eyes went directly to the mirror and observed how my tight, black dress was crumpled slightly and one of the straps was falling off of my shoulder.

I looked up at Clint who was looking at the necklace around my neck, the arrow he gave to show his affection. "Should I wait outside for you to change?" he asked and I smiled briefly at his manners.

"Just turn around," I said, walking into the bathroom. Clint followed behind me and immediately turned to face the door as he shut it. Clint would always respect me. Always.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding as I pushed the dress down my body. The room was so quiet and I couldn't stop watching Clint. Before I could stop myself, I walked towards him. I stopped, about two feet away.

I knew he could hear my breathing and how close I stood behind him. He turned his head to the side slightly and I could barely see the tip of his nose with how his head was angled. "Are you alright?" he asked in a hushed tone.

I sighed and moved forward another step, deciding in the moment that I needed something...I didn't know quite what it was that I needed, but I needed it. I needed Clint.

I rested my forehead against his clothed back, Clint still wearing the suit, and closed my eyes. It was calming, just being in his presence. Us alone was all I felt I needed. I didn't know if it was a romantic notion or not, but I felt like he was the air I needed to breathe.

My left arm snuck around his waist, my hand slipping through the layer of his coat and touching the soft material of his shirt. I slowly eased him round to face me, pulling slightly at his white shirt.

He didn't look at me, even if I was only in my underwear. Surprisingly, I didn't feel vulnerable. I felt safe in his company. I knew it was unfair to do this to him and tease him in the way I did, but we both knew I didn't mean it sexually.

I pushed my head against Clint's firm chest and put my arms around his waist. His arms sheltered around my body, warm and secure.

We stayed there for a few moments before I sighed. "I should shower," I whispered, pulling my arms from his middle and turning around to step into the shower. I saw Clint give me a small smile before I shut the shower curtain.

I took off my underwear and opened up part of the curtain to drop them outside. I couldn't wait to feel the water pour over my skin. I heard Clint sit on the toilet seat and I quickly turned the shower on.

Cold. I flinched and took a few steps back, reaching to turn the water to a hotter temperature. I put my wrist out to feel the water drop on sensitive fingertips. When it felt at a comfortable temperature, I stepped underneath the shower and hummed as I let the water run over me, through my hair.

I heard Clint clear his throat. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied, reaching for the shampoo and opening it.

As I washed and rinsed my hair, my mind went to the time-off that Clint suggested earlier. That wouldn't be possible now that Steve had tried to kill himself. We would all need to be there for him.

I wanted that time with Clint, especially recently. Part of me wanted him to be in the shower with me, just to hold me. I would never push him that far though. I shut my eyes and scolded my mind.

The affection I felt was unrequited and I didn't have time for any kind of romance in my life. I shook my head and quickly washed the rest of my body.

"Could you grab me a towel?" I asked, holding my arms across me as if to stop myself being cold. He opened a section of the shower curtain and his hand poked through, white towel in hand. I pushed down the part in my gut to pull his hand closer and me and bring him in the shower.

I shook my head and quickly snatched the towel from him. I couldn't feel this way. The damage put to me by the Red Room wouldn't allow me to do that. It could only stay with my imagination.

I wrapped the towel around me and pulled the curtain back, stepping out on the floor. I nearly slipped but managed the grip the arm Clint held out to me. I quickly let go and secured the towel around me.

My mind was back to my thoughts again. I knew they were wrong, but I would have to talk to someone about it. Maria would straighten me out.

"Do you want me to make dinner?" Clint asked as we stood there, slightly awkwardly.

I shook my head, walking past to leave the bathroom, grabbing another small towel on the way in order to dry my hair. Sighing, I entered Clint's room. He would've unpacked by now, but I hadn't.

Opening the first drawer I saw, I groaned and quickly shut the drawer of jeans. I smiled as I opened the second drawer, satisfied to see that I had found his shirts. Picking up one of his many baggy purple shirts, I walked out of the room.

Clint was waiting outside and slightly befuddled as I took his hand and led him into the room next door - my room. "Face the door," I told him and I didn't need to turn to know that he did.

I took some lace panties and slipped them on, the purple t-shirt following by sliding it over my head. I grabbed the other towel I took and flipped my hair down, swiftly wrapping it up in a turban to keep it out of my face.

I took a breath and touched the necklace I was wearing, breathing as I felt it pressed against my chest, a comfort. Looking up at Clint, I felt a pull in my gut, pushing myself towards him. I just needed him to stay with me and hold me.

Weakness wasn't usually something that I admitted to, but in that moment, I felt the weakest I had in a long time. I lifted his left arm up slightly as I snuck around him, keeping my right arm around his back.

Hugging him, I heard his heart beat loudly in his chest. I shut my eyes as I felt his fingertips lightly stroke up and down my forearm. "Don't go," I whispered, gritting my teeth afterwards as my pathetic voice echoed in my head.

"Never," he replied, equally quiet as mine. His strong arms were around my waist, supporting my weight as I leant my entire body weight on top of him. Tiredness rushed through me and I felt my energy drain towards the floor.

"Come on," he said. I didn't open my eyes but felt him bend my knees and use one of his arms to reach underneath my knees to sweep me off of the ground. Holding me close to his chest, he carried me over to our bed.

My head lolled against it, but I didn't mind the small annoyance, too exhausted to complain. I lay on the bed and used my feet to push away the bed covers with little effort. I felt it become easier, though I think it was Clint's doing and not my own. I rolled over on my front, the baggy t-shirt I was wearing being just enough to cover me.

I felt the bed dip beside me from where Clint crawled in next to me. "All I need is sleep," I moaned, cuddling the pillow that was extremely soft. I was yet to have a night of sleep in the bed, but I could tell it was going to be comfortable.

"Then food and a nap after that," he added. Clint loved his naps. I don't know how he would survive without them. Maybe that was what gave him his strength. Clint Barton - powered by naps.

I groaned and flipped onto my other side, letting my arm fall against his chest and my head landed on his shoulder. I didn't expect him to be naked, but then again, I knew that he slept that way. I had come into his room many times when he had nightmares and finding him just in his boxers.

"Night Clint..." I mumbled, lips slightly muffled against him. Goodness, I was incredibly tired. I could feel myself nodding off as I spoke, only hearing one word before I slipped into sleep.

"Night Nat."

 **The next morning**

I woke up slowly, comfortable and in peace. It was warm, warmer than usual. I lifted my head, finding it laid against something hard. When I managed to look up, I noticed I had fallen asleep on Clint, his arms surrounding my body. One hand was rested on my naked thigh and twitched once or twice before relaxing. I rolled my eyes, the dream he was having most likely being of pulling and releasing his beloved arrows.

"God," I whispered, slumping back against his shoulder and thought about the huge pile of shit we were in. Clint groaned slightly and turned towards me in his sleep. His leg slipped in between mine, bringing the one his hand hovered above over his. My eyes widened at our intertwined legs and I felt a little bit of fear strike through me, shivering at how intimate we were being, not that he seemed to be aware.

He mumbled something incoherently, his eyelids twitched as his head turned. I looked down at his kind face. He opened his mouth, soft snores emitting from it, and I tried not to laugh at how sweet it was.

My forearm supported me as I looked down at him, watching as his eyes fluttered open. I just stayed there. His eyes blinked a few times as he smiled up at me. I must've looked awful - my hair was a mess, my makeup was most likely smudged with sleep and I could feel how my eyelids dipped.

"Morning," he said, his smile rising slightly as he did showing the slightest bit of teeth. It was more of a moan than a normal hello to me. His voice was deep and raspy from sleep. I liked the way his voice sounded in the morning.

"Morning," I replied lazily. I shuffled backwards, pulling my leg out from Clint's, and leant back to lie down next to the archer. My mind wouldn't stop flowing. "Goodness knows what today's going to bring."

"You can take the day off if you wish," he replied, almost smirking at the idea of taking a day off. We never would. He knew me, too well.

"I think I've had enough sentiment and weakness. I need to go back to being Widow, especially considering the party tonight."

"Five more minutes?" I knew what he was asking for. He was asking for five more minutes of Tasha. I rolled my eyes and sunk down next to him, my arm going around his waist to touch his bare skin. Resting my head on his shoulder, I let out a sigh and closed my eyes.

"Three minutes," I stated and he knew not to argue back with me, understanding that if he bargained for four he would have no time with me like this. I was weak and vulnerable, but he wasn't taking advantage.

Part of me wanted it too, but I knew I would be hopeless if I didn't get the Natalia part of me back. The Widow kept me sane. The difficult part was telling whether it was something that I genuinely wanted or whether it was programmed into my brain. My brain...was heavy with problems. I needed to find some kind of clarity.

"Can I ask you a question? I think I know the answer, but I want you to answer anyway." I rolled onto my side, partner looking at partner. He looked tired, probably because he had just woken up, but I noticed his raised eyebrow, waiting for my answer.

"Go on," he prompted and I pulled my lips together, thinking whether I should ask the question I had on my mind. I soon felt the question leave my lips anyway, like my mind had no control over me.

"Would you rather be feared or loved?" The question was clear and crisp in the air. I saw the frown that grew on his brow.

"I thought you were being Natasha for the next three minutes," he argued, not sounding in the least bit angry. Clint never really got angry with me. He had been angry with Fury, Maria and perhaps even Coulson at one point, but he had yet to be angry at me. Maybe it was because he knew how the Red Room had treated me so badly.

I briefly looked round to check the clock before looking back at him. "Two and a half and counting. This is Natasha," I answered, gesturing to my body with my free hand.

His frown stayed for a second but smoothed out as he nodded, believing my answer. He pouted his lips a little and looked at the ceiling, thinking about the answer to give. "I think I would rather be feared."

He was lying and the others would most likely agree. Clint was an affectionate person from the way that he made cups of tea for people to the way he would desperately go out of his way to keep people safe. "You?" he prompted. "Not that I really need to ask."

I didn't answer. I was afraid that part of me actually wanted love over fear. It scared me so much and I didn't want to.

Another part that made me want to refuse to answer was the last thing he said - 'not that I really need to ask'. I felt slightly disappointed in myself, even though it logically wasn't my fault. I had been programmed that way, to strike fear into the hearts of many whether they be innocent or not.

Obviously, with the Avengers I would only target the guilty, but it did make me sad how my life hadn't been a normal one. I had never been able to engage all my emotion. It made me wonder how different my life would be if I wasn't taken in by HYDRA.

I could've been a secretary or a teacher or a chemist. I clenched the muscles in my chest to ease the pain in my heart. It was pointless to think about that life, the life that would never exist for me. I had what I had and that was it. Life was life and I was the Black Widow.

I looked at the clock, remembering the book that was tucked into the same set of drawers in his room. I made a mental note to get started on writing the list of people that he saved. "Three minutes is up and my answer is double fear. I want people to be afraid of how much they fear me."

"How like the Widow of you to answer," he replied, his spirit sounding slightly trodden upon, as I walked towards the door. I had to clench my heart muscles in order to keep control again. I felt sorry for Clint. I wondered whether all he wanted was a partner that wasn't me sometimes. I was damaged. He was too but it wasn't nearly as much as me. He needed someone else.

"I know..." I responded, opening the door. I gave him a small smile. "Now get out."

He sneered at me, but I could see the smile on his face. "So rude," he quipped with a wink and walked into his room without looking back. Poor Clint. Stuck with someone like me. I shook my head and shut the door, deciding that I should at least cook the poor man some breakfast.

 **Okay...I know it's late. I think I'm going to stop pressuring myself to get chapters out. To be honest, it'll probably motivate me to write them more. If you would like the FULL STORY ON STEVE then head over to my account and find the current one on Maria and Steve.**

 **Please inform me of any mistakes I have written and how I could improve on my storywriting!** **Also, I'm going to start doing songs for each chapter.**

 **Song: Don't Go - Wretch 32**

 **Please make sure to review as this chapter alone took me five hours and I only get a couple of reviewers each chapter! Thank you all for your support 3 LOVE YA! :P**


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